Dating after domestic abuse, do any survivors have tips for me as I start to look for love again?

My last relationship was highly abusive, and I broke it off 10 months ago. I have used the time to stay single, get in shape, and heal myself, learning to love myself again. Now that I am in a good place, I am trying to date again! It sure is hard to learn to trust another person after going through what I have, so I am here asking other survivors and friends of survivors any tips you might have for me as I start to look for love again?

I have been talking to someone new and I'm so afraid to Get hurt, I think I've been pushing him away a bit. I really don't want to ruin it over a problem that doesn't exist outside of my head, but I'm really overprotective at this point too.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Date guys who are college nerds, like academics. Chances are they're not abusive

  • I tried dating two different women who were raped. It's a mindfuck for us, too.

    • Do you have any tips on maybe approaching the subject with a new guy? I am a very blunt and confident girl and I don't want to play a victim card, just kinda like a matter of fact approach. But I don't know what may happen when I get more intimate with a new man or start being vulnerable, so any tips for that?

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    • Thank you, and same for you too. Is there a way to delete this post?

    • @VeraAloe No idea. It should be fine.

What Girls Said 1

  • You should be open to him and reveal your past to him. If he leaves you right after that/prematurely then he is not for you.

    • Thanks, yeah I'm just a private person so I don't want to discuss it if I don't have to. He asked about my last relationship and I just kinda left it at "he was a bad dude, I'll tell you later on"