I was never taught how to understand this. I really want to have a long term committed relationship with a women. Is there a step by step guide to it? Like date? Second date? And so on... I'm just confused.
Most Helpful Girl
There's no step by step tutorial because all relationships are different.
I've known my SO since 2007. We dated from October 2011 - August 2016 and are engaged and planning a wedding for June 2018.
My fiance and I decided about 2 hours into our first date that we were going to be in a serious, hopefully long term, relationship. A big goal for a sophomore and senior in HS when so many relationships last 6 weeks or so :p
We're friends first. Genuine friends. We hang out. Not every time you see each other is a date. Not every time you go out to eat is a date.
You being a boyfriend does not give you the right to sex from her. Her being a girlfriend does not give her the right to your wallet. And vice versa.
You make that determination for yourselves. You don't need set milestones. Don't listen to your friends who say stuff like, "if she hasn't put out by such and such time then leave her 'cause it's not worth it," or any other stipulations. They're not the ones in the relationship, you are.
She is your equal partner. And if you two decide (together) that you're going to have sex on the first date... that's between you two and you two alone. No one else. If you decide to wait until you're married... that's your call.
Don't rush your milestones. The first kiss, the first, second, third date, the first sexual experience, they don't need to happen in any particular order... or within any certain time frame. If you go into it with the expectation that these things have to happen within a certain period of time... you're creating a sense of urgency and that will be the downfall of your relationship.
Be friends first, romantic partners second.
Take your time, don't rush things.
Keep your relationship private. What you two do or tell each other is not fodder for conversations with your friends and it's not stuff to be aired on social media. It's private.
At the same time, own that you're in a relationship. It's not so private that you hide it from other interested people. You don't need to air your mushy crap or your arguments, but you do own that you're committed.
Be honest with each other. Don't hold onto your fights or your anger. Something that upset you a year ago is not relevant in your fight today.
If your goal is to make it last... then both parties should attack each day with the intent to please their partner. As a friend first, and a romantic partner second.2