Guys, does it put pressure on you to pick a restaurant for a first date/hang out?

This guy asked me to go to my favorite restaurant but I asked him to pick one... then he said it will put him pressure... we've been hanging out wz a few people but never been out just 2 of us.

  • Yes
    60% (46)
  • No
    40% (31)
And you are? I'm a GuyGirls can not vote on this poll
Updates:
1mo If yes could you tell me why?

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21

Most Helpful Guy

  • Of course it does.

    He probably has no idea what you like to eat, and he probably likes things that you don't care for and vice versa. Further, if he's trying to pick a "nice" restaurant (and not a local family chain like Olive Garden or Outback Steakhouse or Red Lobster), they're often quite specialized with a limited menu, and it might be something you hate, or (he'll be afraid that) you might be insulted somehow by choosing something that is inappropriate for some reason.

    Maybe he chooses a steakhouse, and doesn't know you're vegan. Maybe he chooses a fish place and you're allergic. Maybe he chooses Mexican and you hate Mexican.

    Some girls take this kind of thing in stride and say "oh, that would be nice, but could we choose something else?", but some girls get all offended and pissed off if you suggest the wrong thing.

    (Now, myself, I'd rather her get pissed off, because then I know she isn't for me, and wouldn't have to waste my time and money on her in the first place - but many guys have SUCH a hard time asking girls out in the first place that a rejection like that could crush them and undermine their confidence for YEARS.)

    This is why I tell everyone: don't do a dinner date until at LEAST the third date, and don't do a FANCY dinner date until the 10th or later date or until you're in a relationship. The first couple of dates should be CHEAP or FREE, and should focus on having lots of "get to know you" time to talk about COMPATIBILITY. By the time you ask a girl on a dinner date, you should ALREADY KNOW WHAT SHE LIKES TO EAT. If you don't, then you aren't ready for a dinner date.

    Having to make all the decisions is stressful, and it forces the guy to "put his neck out there" because it's so easy for her to shoot down his decisions - usually without her even offering an alternative suggestion. BUT... - guys, girls still WANT you (the guy) to make those decisions - THE GIRL DOES NOT WANT TO BE THE ONE MAKING DECISIONS in most cases - so if you go ahead and make the decisions, and make them well (taking her needs into consideration, that you made an effort to learn beforehand), you will earn BIG points with her!

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What Guys Said 20

  • I had a really bad experience with this. I met someone online who was a vegan. It got pretty hot and heavy after we talked online, on the phone, etc. for a while. She lived about 100 miles away. So I arranged to meet her and went through a whole lotta trouble finding a vegan restaurant in her area online so I could take her there as a surprise. I even called the restaurant in advance and asked if they could make a special cake that said "I'm so glad I met you" on it to bring out for dessert. I drove 100 miles to see her to a place I had never been before and she stood me up! There I was in a strange place and she wouldn't even answer the phone!

    My revenge was stopping for a steak dinner on my drive back and texting her a pic of the big fat juicy steak.

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  • When I ask a lady out, I already KNOW her favorite place, or someplace she wants to go. When I ask her, I confidently tell her, that I have a reservation, just for us, at this time on this day at her favorite place.
    If he is wishy-washy about restaurants, how is he going to be in a relationship?

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  • No, in fact I prefer picking because majority of places are too low for my standards, too many half-assed "in it for the money" restaurants with no passion or soul in it.

    When letting me pick, I'm gonna pick a place that I know that I have a good reputation and that it's a place I've liked or a place I'd love to try.

    Guess I'm bit of a foodie?

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  • It feels like a test. and a guy does not want to score low on the test. It can happen the other way too. Really, both of you should pick the place, even via text. Just start listing off types of food you like and let him suggest a place. That way, both parties win

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  • I don't feel any pressure from that... but then again, I don't like the idea of a restaurant/dinner for a first date. Kinda bores me.

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  • Only if I've never been to a town or city or something like if I'm visiting.

    If it's on my home turf then no I ain't pressured since I know all the best places to eat.

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  • Something expensive such as a restaurant is a bad idea for a first date.
    A daytime coffee meeting is better. The first date should be a getting to know you exercise.
    If either party begin to feel uncomfortable, they can leave.

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  • No that's so simple I live in restaurant City

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  • I live in Los Angeles. There are literately a ton of great and fun restaurants here to take a woman on a date to.

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  • I'd usually let her pick, but if I was requested to, I'd first ask what kinds of food she loved most. (If I didn't already know.) That would probably make it easy enough.

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  • stress. if we like you we want things to go right. but we don't know you so we ask what you like. why would we leave it up to chance for things to go well. plus there's girls who mess with you and test you and it's a whole process.

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  • Wait... so he wants YOU to pick so the pressure is on you... and not him? What a winner.

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  • No, i just want the girl to make the decision where she wants to go.

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  • Of fucking course it does

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  • I'm a picky eater, so I prefer to pick where to eat most of the time.

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  • well it's the first impression isn't it. The simple fact that the girl might have wished for Lebanese instead of a traditional whatever, is a bit of a pressure. what if she feels the place is too cheap, what if she thinks the place is too fancy and we try too much to impress.

    Then, not only the restaurant itself, but all the little things on a first date. Like: paying the bill.
    I heard one girl saying she offered to pay half, the guy accepted to do so since she proposed it. She refused to go out with him afterwards.
    I mean, if I just got your phone number on the street and set a date somehow, I barely know you. I don't know how you view society, what are your thoughts on who should do what, I can't read your mind to know you want to be pampered OR want to be treated equally and pay half.

    There are a lot of things that can go wrong :)

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  • She is the restaurant and fish is the main course

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  • I eat in high class restaurant, so no

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  • Ok so, it does put pressure for me, but not in the way one might think, sometimes I would suggest a restaurant and she would say : "I don't know" and basically whatever I suggest she would say "I don't know", and it really puts the pressure on, cause I start overthinking, maybe she doesn't really want to go out with me, or maybe she doesn't think I can afford a night out, so to answer your question it does put pressure sometimes, hope that helps

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  • Of course, but I can do it if she wants me to.

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