What should you not do on a first date?

I have a terrible track record of dating so a few tips of where I'm going wrong would be helpful 😂


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't try to "impress" your date.

    At the end of the day, whether you're dating for fun, or just looking for companionship, or looking for something serious... it's probably not a good idea to make the foundation of your relationship based on something you have to actively try to maintain emotionally 24/7. That's a lot of work, and it's unsustainable.

    Sooner or later, maybe 3-6 months down the road, one of you is going to get tired of trying to "impress" the other. When the "true/real" you comes out, it can only be negative. For starters, you are now properly labeled as fake and a liar. Even if the "true/real" you would have been someone your partner would have loved and totally been cool with, this isn't a Disney/Hallmark movie, this is real life. And in real life, people get pissed when they're lied to and you wasted their time, and basically got them to have a relationship with someone that never really existed.

    I guess it goes for both guys and girls. Don't try to "impress" your date. Don't be on your "best" behavior. Be on your "normal/regular" behavior. If they don't feel the connection, then you just dodged a bullet, it would have ended badly anyway. You can take all that saved time and focus on other opportunities with someone who would totally feel that connection just based on the true/real you.

    It sounds cheesy and cliche', but that's #1 on my list of suggestions.

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    • 1mo

      that's like totally true bc on first dates I always straighten my hair, wear high high heels, do my makeup to the fullest. then, when we're official and he wants to stop by unexpected I feel a need to apologize for the sweats and curly hair. I always wonder if he still likes me. it's like, here's get a man me vs here the real me

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    • 1mo

      oh, well I can't change my personality so I'm always just me

    • 1mo

      I always thought my ex was the prettiest in the morning with no make up and her hair all over the place. I just think it's adorable.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't talk poorly of others - whether exes, friends, colleagues or family. Makes a person seem negative and/or bitchy.

    Make sure you strike a balance between telling them about yourself and asking about them. Look for common interests or opinions.

    Don't drink too much.

    Don't expect them to drive the conversation the whole time. But also, don't dominate the conversation. Try to balance it.

    If you go for dinner order what you actually want to eat and laugh it off if you get food on your face or something silly.

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What Guys Said 60

  • 1. Don't talk about exes. Nobody wants to hear that shit!

    2. Don't talk about things you hate; guys will think you are too negative.

    3. Don't talk too much about future plans. You don't want a guy thinking that you have already picked out names for the first three children you will have with him.

    4. Don't monopolize the conversation. He'll be looking for a way to end the date early.

    5. If he takes you out to dinner, order something in the mid-price range at the restaurant. If you order the imported lobster, he'll think you're a gold-digger. If you order a grilled cheese sandwich, he'll wonder if you think he is impoverished.

    6. Don't burp, fart, or blow your nose at the dinner table. No explanation needed.

    7. Don't talk about dreams, aspirations involving travel. He'll think you are high maintenance or he may think you will be leaving the area soon, so why bother with dating you?

    8. Don't talk about your rules for dating. If something comes up that is contrary to one of your rules, you can deal with it then.

    9. If he says anything about his exes (bad move on his part,) don't say anything critical of the girl. He may feel the need to defend her.

    10. If he wants to give you a kiss at the end of the first date, don't say no; if you are not into it, just turn and let him kiss you on the cheek.

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    • 1mo

      Mho here

    • 1mo

      Wow! The older, the wiser.

    • 1mo

      No if you order the imported lobster, he'll think shit, maybe I should just take a girl to a nice casual cafe next time and get to know her as a person, take the pressure off her to impress and not make the venue the emphasis of the date; see if I actually like her before treating her to something fancy.

      Also, dreams and aspirations are good, it shows she is working towards something she is excited about. As long as she doesn't brag about going to all the fancy places it's fine.

  • guys are way more forgiving them women. Since women hold all the cards in the early stages of dating and relationships, there isn't a lot you can do to mess up. The biggest thing is being on your phone. I had a date where she just would not put it down. I get that some people have to work. but make the date in a 2 or 3 hour block that you can ignore your phone, or don't go. If a woman did that again, I will just walk out on her.

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  • Basically, be your usual considerate self. Lots of dates don't go anywhere because there's no mutual attraction. That doesn't mean someone did something wrong, it just means that one party decided not to continue.

    Anyway, if you are not sure how to behave, here are some basic tips:

    If you go to a restaurant or bar or anywhere there are service people, do not be rude to the service people.

    Don't be late.
    Do not tell offensive jokes.
    Do not take out your mobile device unless it's an emergency.
    Dress appropriates. If he's taking you to a nice restaurant, try to look like you belong there. OTOH, if it's an outdoor activity, don't wear heels.

    If you are at a nice restaurant that has some exotically expensive dish, like lobster or caviar or truffle-something, and your date is paying, do not order that unless he encourages you to do that.

    Don't go on a date because it's free food or whatever. If you have no interest in the person, then decline the date. It's fine to lie about the reason you aren't going. Most guys will get it. If he doesn't and persists, then tell him flat out that you are sorry, but not interested.

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    • 1mo

      If someone is dumb enough to go to a nice restaurant on a first date, the girl should go all out to show him the error of his ways. Showing off your money is no way to show someone your qualities as a person and puts pressure on the other person to repay the favor later on. So think how they'd feel if they didn't want a second date; they'd feel kinda bad.

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    • 1mo

      Except you state she shouldn't pick an expensive dish...

      Point is, why go somewhere pricey when you hardly know someone, that's just encouraging golddigger behaviour if she doesn't have to earn anything from you. Do that sort of date a few months in when you know you like the girl.

  • Don't go to the cinema. One of the reasons why I think my fist date wasn't the best was because our attention was focused on something other than ourselves - which should be what the date is about in the first place - us. Instead, we focused on a movie instead.

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  • Not have fun. Seriously if you go into a date with no expectations and the only goal being to have a good and fun time, you'll be amazed at how well they go.

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  • have your head in your cell phone. in fact unless it's necessary you shouldn't take a cell phone out of your pocket/purse/etc

    talk too much about yourself unless prompted

    ask too many close ended questions. it stymies conversation

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  • Don't mention exs, don't look at your phone a lot or text unless nessassary, make eye contact and smile. Also don't be stiff and be you. Guys want a girl with a personality.

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  • Take out your dick in public. Always a turn-off when a girl does that.

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    • 1mo

      Bwahaha. This genuinely made me laugh. I think that's the first time a GAG comment has done that.

  • I guess go too far... it's about learning to know each other so lots of discussion and searching for the click :D
    If there's intimate kissing or sex on a first date the chance it will become a long term relationship is slim :o
    So maybe also not done is to dress up in a very sexy outfit. This could make him focus on the meat instead of the person :-(

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  • Looks at it this way. What would annoy you the most on a first date? The guy on his phone, being late, looking like a slob, etc. Just use that as a guide and you'll be fine. :)

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  • I know you are looking for tips but I would be inclined to go opposite direction, keep being yourself, you want person to fall for real you - I had a look at your profile and you are lovely looking with a more than likely nice personality so be patient that right person will come along.

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  • Talks about how successful and rich you are, your ex, eat like a pig, being late, talking way too much, farting, checks out other people, rude, and not talk about sex

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  • I think the first "should", is to be picky. Don't play the numbers game when it comes to dating, look for quality instead of quantity.

    As for should nots, don't do something that takes your attention off of each other, unless you have spent a good time getting to know one another first, and throw in some social time together before whatever you do. The last "first date" I went on we went to a bar, grabbed a drink and some food, talked for an hour, then went to a comedy club. But because we'd bee talking via text and phone for a week, and had the face time (real face time) before hand we were very comfortable at the comedy club and she even pulled my arms around her so I could hold her.

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    • 1mo

      Also, some talk about exes is fine. Keep it light and moderate. Don't spend the whole evening putting them down, but also don't spend the whole evening talking about how great they are. But understanding what caused them to fail can help your eventual relationship.

  • Talk about your exes, look at your phone. Also I think a lot of guys appreciate it if you'd be willing to pay for your part of the date. I will insist on paying it all myself at the end, BUT it is good that I know that your independent who does not need my money and can take care of herself

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  • One thing you should never do is say.. my last date was better.. if you do.. you may be done.. do not pass go.. and best know how to take rejection

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  • Flirt hardcore with the guy, showing great interest in him, then afterwards friendzone him. Happened a few times to me and I was just like WTF?

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  • Talk about your spouse.

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  • Be yourself. The right guy will like you for who you are when you're yourself. Don't try to be/act like something you aren't. Just take it slow and be yourself.

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  • dont:
    - tell a guy you hate him or think he's ugly, or not attractive enough and if you think that dont date a guy in the first place.
    -holding back what you want to say or ask. or do.
    -make/expect the guy do everything. ever.

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  • If you're meeting guys on Tinder you are meeting 99% guys who want to fuck, and nothing else. If that is where you are at, fine. If you want more, look elsewhere.

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  • On first date you should never use your cell phone too much
    unless it's emergency or someone from home calling you up
    such as a parent. xoxoxo

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  • Don't leave without some affection if you want to continue dating. Whether its a hug or kiss (anywhere), it can't be something where it makes you look cold.

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  • Movies.
    Talk about your ex's.
    Inquire a lot about their career or their wealth.
    Fart...

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    • 1mo

      Hey my first date with a guy was at the movies and it was great, of course b4 hand we talked heaps so were somehat comfy with eachother but we got an excuse to be intimate and touchy feely!

  • It was on the radio yesterday

    There were sux things

    1. Dont talk about anything too deep including old relationships
    2. Dont show off gloat
    3. Dont comment on the other persons body
    4. Dont check out other people in the place, or comment on them
    5. dont leave early
    6 dont let them touch you

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  • Heyy!!! You are back? 🙊🙊welcome back!! Good to see you!

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  • For a girl, what you shouldn't do is probably spend more time on phone while dating, talking about other guy, religious, how much they earned/spend.

    Try to be involve in the date, don't avoid activities unless you don't like it or illegal.

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  • Talk about marriage, kids, or spend the whole time on your phone.

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  • Don't be silent and awkward and don't try to force a covo just let it happen naturally.

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  • Don't be a bitch

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  • Don't go to any restaurant where it's easy to eat like a slob.

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  • More from Guys
    30

What Girls Said 23

  • Hmmm, don't overshare, don't expect the other person to pay, don't expect it to be movie perfect on the first date.

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  • No matter what you do, @Hey_itsAlexandra, make sure you don't Take him up on his Offer in Asking you To... Be his Girl and to get Right Into a Relationship.
    It's a turn Off to me Anyways, and Nowadays, it can, along with Other Fiascos and Worries and Woes, happen on a "First Date," where he is Looking Right off the bat, for a Mate.
    Go Slow with Joe. Be yourself. See if there might be a Second Date, and of course, too, on your End, my Friend.
    Good luck and Welcome to Gag Town. xx

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  • Don't go to a movie. Go someplace where you can talk and be heard. Don't talk about politics, religion, abortion or exes.

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  • Haha! Alright! Well, first off, you want to be yourself and be truthful! You want to look nice because first date impressions show a lot about you as a person! You don't want to be a nervous wreck and antisocial, that kinda stuff! You just have to be calm and keep conversation flowing! A good way to do this is to ask lots of questions about things that interest them :)

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  • do:

    -be prepared to pay your own way;
    -be yourself;
    -be safe
    -have fun

    don't:

    -talk about exes;
    -dominate conversation (in order to be a conversation, there need to be 2 sides);
    -be glued to your phone;
    -feel pressured to do anything you aren't super into.

    :)

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  • What you should do:
    before the date even, you should have been writing to each other (email) and calling each other for a while (cell phone)...

    During the first date in person...
    do:
    eye contact, act really happy to see them, focus on them, ask them questions about themselves, and smile, also I encourage you to dress appropriately and be genuinely practicing active listening skills... ask questions but not nosy ones... more like the what kind of books do you read, what kind of music do you listen to, and what kind of hobbies do you like. if you already did all this through phone and email, bring up those topics. When you remember something about a person it helps them to know that you were thinking about them.

    things not to do:
    don't talk only about yourself, and don't judge! Try to be open minded and ask questions. Don't talk about your exes, don't talk about your family history in depth, try to keep out religion, politics and drugs. I would also encourage you to try to keep out the fact that you want to get married and have four kids.

    good luck

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  • Talk about ex's
    Talk about sex
    Focusing on your phone and not your date

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  • I think people shouldn't move too quickly, just enjoy the time and go with the flow don't be nervous about the next move or think about the end of the night too fast.

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  • Pay half of the date unless he absolutely insists. Don't come on too strongly. Just try to get to know him. Do not agree to dinner or a movie on a first date, it should be simple like a walk in the park or on the beach, somewhere you can actually talk and be yourselves.

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  • Don't talk about an ex.

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  • Don't tell him about your family or friend drama. Don't gossip. Don't spread rumors. Don't tell him that you have a big pimple on your ass that hurts when you sit on it. Don't tell him that you haven't washed your bra in weeks. Don't tell him that you want to get married as soon as possible.

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  • What you should know is what kinda guy he is and that will determine how far you can go in a date if you choose ;) :)

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  • Don't fart

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  • 1|0
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  • No touching
    No sensitive issues like abortion, politics, and religion.
    Do not go over his house

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  • just havefun don't take it too seriously

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  • Talk about how you feel about your exs... -.-

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  • Be yourself
    No heavy physiological decision
    No kiss on the first date
    Do not give up the cookie on the 1st date
    He's just as nervous as you are
    Be confident... you got th

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  • talk about exes is a big one

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  • Don't try to act as if you are someone better. Be yourself.

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  • red flags send me a message and ill send u one

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  • The paranoid princess is back

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  • have sex

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    • 1mo

      I meant sex is what you shouldn't do

    • 1mo

      I see where she's coming from. She has a point, while some men are happy to have sex on a first date, other might think your too easy.

    • 1mo

      @Shorty1991sex on first date is not sex with love

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