If guys find me attractive why don't they ask me out?

Guys and girls: what makes you hold back?
I'm honestly such a nice person. Always get told I have a heart of gold. When I meet people they call me beautiful, sometimes visibly treated and respected differently to others around, clear interest shown by some, they watch me from afar. I notice excuses to 'accidentally' be in an area i predominantly am at work, and cute little hugs when I arrive/depart... yet nothing verbally spoken.
Frustrating?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Umm
    I don't like coffee but
    Wanna go for a coffee 🍵 ? 😂 LOL

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    • 1mo

      I love coffee :) I really appreciate the response. Thank you.

    • 1mo

      So are you coming 😶? LOL
      Oh and you should approach guys instead cause guys near you seems shy

Most Helpful Girl

  • ok how to describe what may be going on

    U kno when ur walkin along the street and u come across a dog and u kno deep down a feeling of uneasy as u can sense dog is the barky type? Then another day you walk down the street and u come accross a dog and u kno deep down that it's friendly

    Same with humans... we let vibes off and others can sense it.. u might be a really nice person but what's your face like? Are you closin up facial expressions... tighten smile rather than a full on smile? You probably close up and because you feel the way you do it's showing in ur face puttin others off thinking you're unapproachable.. and u won't even kno ur doin it Becos u got so used to doing it...

    next time u walk by these people smile a hi to them.. show them ur not unapproachable... the more u do it people will see you differently

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    • 1mo

      And it could also be that they are to busy looking down at their phones swiping right or left to look up and notice real women in front of them... times have changed I've noticed before a guy would have no problem sending his pal up to ask a girl out.. now it's all through the anon of testing or dating sites.. so that could be another factor as well

    • 1mo

      At first I was thinking hmm where is this comment going... but then it all made sense. Thanks for the time and effort in leaving a response.

What Guys Said 22

  • Intimidation
    They may think you have a boyfriend just by default
    But honestly you're a 4/10 to me sorry

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    • 1mo

      I don't recall asking to be judged based on my looks. Was asking generic questions that people could relate to. You're clearly a 10/10 with your purple icon. I'm happy and thats all that matters.

    • 1mo

      You seemed like you were wondering why guys don't ask you out. I guessed why.

  • I'd say it's intimidation. Attractive girls generally tend to want male models asking them out so a lot of guys might just think they're not good enough.

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  • From your picture, you don't really strike me as relationship material.

    Hook up material, maybe.

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    • 1mo

      Didn't ask to be judged. Future reference; keep your responses relevant to the questions asked.

    • 1mo

      Well perhaps guys aren't asking you out because they feel the same way?

    • 1mo

      Perhaps. Now, kindly evaporate and never return :)

  • There are plenty of reason, but the reasons you can influence is making yourself approachable and showing interest yourself beyond super subtle things (as you already figured, most guys don't do too well with subtle hints).

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  • a lot of men are afraid to , simple as that i could go on for hours about why and ladies here could go on for hours about why they shouldn't , but for as long as society has moulded itself to the point where the cover of the book (i. e. social skills) are as important as the content, this will remain the case. if you sit back and wait for men to make moves , it will happen but you are restricting yourself to one type of guy only.

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  • If a girl shows little signs of liking me, has too many guy friends, or is clearly out of my league, I won't ask her out. (I'm working on those last two).

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  • maybe guys are afraid to approach you because you are very attractive to them.
    why dont you try approaching them

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  • Enough girls seem to find me attractive but they don't usually ask me out either. What if you ask out the people you like?

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    • 1mo

      I wouldn't hesitate in asking a guy out. Just wanted insight as to why guys may not do so themselves.

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    • 1mo

      You have to somehow act different towards them than you do to other people in a noticeable way so they get the idea.

    • 1mo

      Helpful. Thank you.

  • sibelcan_a, will you go out with me? I'm just joking. I don't know why people don't ask you out. Maybe they think you're taken.

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  • It is possible that you may not carry yourself as single. Do you wear a ring on your left ring finger? Is the setting you are in appropriate for being asked out?

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    • 1mo

      I don't wear any jewellery. But nonetheless, I appreciate the response. Thank you.

  • Maybe they are intimidated by you

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  • I've only had two answers every time i ask a woman out: No or I have a relationship. Therefore after so many times I have stopped asking.

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  • Are you open and friendly? Maybe they don't feel comfortable approaching you.

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    • 1mo

      Very. I'm also quite a closed person too. Who knows! Appreciate the response. Thank you.

  • may be you are kinda of anti social?

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  • Maybe it's because you haven't shown any interest in them

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  • More risky to approach women these days. Answer mine?

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    • 1mo

      How is it 'more risky... these days?' whats changed?

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    • 1mo

      Interact with women any more, even if you're attractive and less likely to have any of this unpleasantness flung at you.

      I can get away with a lot of Shit that would get the cops or white knights set upon most men. And I tend not to fool with women that live in my town. I have a fake name ready, complete with a fake Fakebook that actually has friends and I post to from time to time. Although I fucked up because I have a lot of rather distinctive tattoos. But I spend a pretty significant amount of time in other states, so it's not as big of a problem as it could be.

    • 1mo

      @Barrabus_the_Free Certainly was not expecting a response as such. I've personally never met/interacted with the type of people you've described. I only befriend the honest. Wish you all the best...

  • Could be any number of reasons

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  • How long have you been single now

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  • Here's the thing with guys, we hate rejection just as much as women do yet we have to go through it so many times compared to women. If you're attractive, you probably have lesser attractive guys who want to ask you out but is afraid because of the stereotype that attractive girls have really high standards who want a guy who's 6ft+, muscular, rich, high status etc. Basically a lot of guys think attractive girls are shallow so they tend to avoid them, which is why you may see more average girls getting asked out more. Unfortunately in the dating world you get judged by looks and status more than anything.

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    • 1mo

      I've been rejected once and it was horrible. Totally understand why males withstand from asking girls out. Appreciate the response. Thank you.

    • 1mo

      You're welcome.

  • I know what league I'm in, and if I don't ask her out it's because I know realistically I'll fail. She could be sweet but she probably wants something more.

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  • Intimidated by your looks or assume someone that looks like you has a boyfriend so why bother asking

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  • It's called being shy. Rejection for some people is absolutely devastating.

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What Girls Said 4

  • You most likely come across as unapproachable.

    You appear unapproachable if...
    you have resting bitch face
    are in a big group of people
    appear busy e. g being on your phone
    look taken, e. g being with a male friend or wearing a ring on your ring finger
    break eye contact too quickly

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  • For the usual reasons, scared of rejection, they find you attractive and already have girlfriends, your reading to much into it because they just see you as eye candy and don't want a relationship with you so they just admire you.

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    • 1mo

      Sounds 'bout right. Thanks for your response.

    • 1mo

      No problem, if a guy is serious about you he'll act on it. Just don't make the mistake of getting too emotionally attached to them straight away.

  • I have the same issue sometimes, some guys are just intimidated and especially nowadays with online dating they have just become all scared. Maybe flirt extra hard or just say something first smh, since men these days seem to have no balls.

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  • Maybe it looks like you're not interested or they're intimidated.

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