i met my boyfriend in the city.. he was going to grad school for his masters and i dental hygiene. we have been dating a total of 11 months. in the begining he was kind and i felt we just clicked. then he made us exclusive and he's the one that said i love you first. a month or so went by and he was odd with his phone. im not stupid and ik if someone won't let you touch their phone its because somethings on it. anyhow i guess he had gone to a club and exchanged numbers.. i saw the convo it wasn't anything special and i deleted the number. months went by and he kept in contact with a previous girl he was seeing, she actually was in his program. i said to end it or we are done and through the crying and tears he did so. now he never knew i knew about the text message. so around aug he had taken me to his grandmothers up north... and the last night i brought it up.. i felt as though it was one of our worst fights... but we made up and were fine, i forgave him.. fast fwd to now. he will tell anyone who will listen he wants to marry me.. he tells his mom he needs me and w/o me his life would be meaningless. getting his masters was tough with the anxiety and stress but he just keeps saying its for his future family with me. now, he would still be weird with his phone. so i checked it while he was asleep and nothing... i was honestly soo relieved. i was kind of mad at myself for going on his phone. but then i thought fb... because whenever i sat beside him hed turn the screen away... and i saw it. a conversation with a girl he said was nothing... they went to highschool and she liked his photos. but i saw it.. it was from may and thinking about it hurts me sooo bad inside. im not a horrible girl, i dont drink, party, swear, do drugs, sleep around. the conversation went on to say they wanted to kiss eachother. he then deleted her off everthing and stopped all contact. I don't know what to do.. should i forgive him since now he's going to counselling? and he's deleted fb in fear ill leave.
Most Helpful Girl
How many times is he actually going to do this though?
He dares to talk to other girls because he knows by crying and grovelling enough he can get away with it, especially after the number of chances of you've given him he's always going to think yes she'll give me another chance.
Now it's your choice about what you want to do, and you know it.
Either you leave him and it will hurt, and you will feel bad when he begs for you again (but that's his fault and it's because of his lack of faithfulness and integrity that he'll be facing such situation, and in my opinion the best way to teach him a lesson for the future - clearly the past several times didn't stop him)
OR you can take him back and feel insecure until you can trust him 100% and not have to snoop around his phone or fb... but the question is will you ever be able to trust him like that again?
As for myself, when someone breaks my trust, I can never feel the same way as I used to, no matter how much I want, I just can't bring myself to be the same as before with that person, and will feel insecure and the need to snoop around for as long as I am involved with that person.
This is just my opinion though, it is really up to you. But I would never marry someone that has given me a reason to think otherwise... if he can't be faithful (regardless of if it's physically or emotionally) to me as a boyfriend then how can take a leap of faith and trust him to be faithful to me when we're married?
Think about it rationally, don't get swayed by emotions because feelings change.
Good luck, I hope you do right by you :)1
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