Who is at fault here?

I've heard this story a few times and it actually happened to myself too.

It can be a boy or girl, but I'll explain using the boy chasing the girl.

Boy meets a Girl, likes her... they are flirting... Girl seems really interested...

Boy asks girl out, but Girl gives him the run around

Boy finds out the Girl has a Boyfriend.

Now is it the "Boys" fault for not asking her straight up if she had a boyfriend?

Or is it the "Girls" Fault for not mentioning the Boyfriend?

The lesson I have learned if you are super into someone, ask them straight up if they are single. They can't runaway from that question, and if they lie... You will find out and realize they are not a good person.

My advice to people, if you think someone is interested in you or are talking to someone of the opposite sex... At least mention your S. O, so early on they will know to only accept friendship from you... and it doesn't become a case of leading someone on.

  • Boy
    7% (1)20% (1)10% (2)Vote
  • Girl
    60% (9)60% (3)60% (12)Vote
  • Other
    33% (5)20% (1)30% (6)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
1mo Wow, It seem's like most are saying it's the girls fault.

I have been beating myself up over this a lot, but maybe I shouldn't.

I thought it was my responsibility to ask, and because I didn't she never told me.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • No its not the guys fault for not asking her if she gas a boyfriend. When a guy asks a girl out and she is already paired off then she should have the sense to tell him that she is already taken. This is exactly what I mean when people go rushing into asking other out without knowing anything about them. I break the ice with men I'm interested in, I establish what I need to know about them just by having conversations with them. If you rush into it, they either ridicule you on the spot or they just use you thinking that they can have a bit on the side.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Boy's. We are not obligated to mention our partners to every single person we meet. And also, we're not a mind readers, there's a high chance she didn't got the hint from you. It happens quite a lot. I am, for example, totally oblivious to flirting because I got burnt so many times by over-thinking and friend-zoning. So I'm done with guessing or reading the signs. If a guy is into me I expect him to be loud and clear about it.

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    • 1mo

      Thanks for the opinion,

      But if you know a guy is single, and it looks like he might be shy, or unclear... wouldn't you at least mention a boyfriend? "I'm just shopping with my boyfriend" or "eating dinner". Especially if you are talking to him as a friend. Why would you never say that?

      Not all guys have learned to be super clear. Guys also tend to overestimate a girls interest as well.

    • 1mo

      Depends how close and how the two of us have been friends. But if it's something fresh then no, why would I mention? I would if he was obviously flirting with me or if I noticed that he likes me. But as I said, most of the times I don't notice. Especially with shy guys. It's his problem/fault that he's shy. I can't read minds.

    • 1mo

      Fair enough, that's how I initially felt. I was shy, and it was my responsibility to ask.

  • In that scenario she's at fault. When he started pursuing her she should have been upfront with him, and told him she had a boyfriend. Instead of leading him on.

    He probably assumed she didn't have a boyfriend because she was flirting with him too

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    • 1mo

      So she lead him on for sure?

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    • 1mo

      Just think of how unhappy you'd be if you were with her. She'd totally manipulate your feelings and you'd end up feeling more upset and hurt than you do now

    • 1mo

      She is very manipulate , I see her manipulating other people as well... but I seem to be the only one who can see it... I guess I got close to her... She backtalked so many people to me... and in person they are super nice to her, and she is super nice to them.

  • The girl gave him the run around... she obviously wants his&her boyfriend's attention at the same time.

    The guy often doesn't ask straight out, simply because it can be too frank, and scare the girl away.

    I sympathize more with the boy.

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    • 1mo

      This is what happened to me, but she led me on for a while :(

      I have been feeling like it's my fault the whole time, but maybe she did lead me on.

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    • 1mo

      Yeah :(

    • 1mo

      I can't stop thinking about her

  • don't ask straight forward.. it's weird

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    • 1mo

      Is it? If a guys flirting with you and says "so what's up, are you single?"

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    • 1mo

      That's why I would ask lol, I don't want a girl who has a boyfriend.

      That's what happened to me, She had problems with her boyfriend, but didn't tell me she had one.

      I found out, too early I guess...

    • 1mo

      I don't know ur choice at the end

  • Girls fault !!!

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What Guys Said 0

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