So I am 24 years old.
I have never dated, kissed, had intercourse, or even talked to that many girls.
I really don't have a clue what I am doing, I'm not sure how to date, what is expected, and maybe I have the wrong ideas?
I thought you like a girl, start a conversation and then ask her to get a coffee or something and date and get to know each other better... But Online dating has not worked out for me, girls in public are very shy/scared to talk to strangers and the girls I like just tend to like attention, drink and party... Which is good because now I can detect that right away, and I hate drinking and partying..
I don't know much, but people say it's just easier to get a friends with benefits these days and be mean slob.
I get really insecure because most if not all girls my age have had sex and have had a boyfriend or two. So I can't get either...
I am at zero experience, and girls want a guy who knows what he is doing and what he wants... but I can't get experience without getting a girl. It's a catch 22.
I mean I focus on work, myself, and I keep being told it will happen one day, focus on yourself, etc.
But it's not, and I don't think I will ever attract a girl. I am decent looking, girls (as friends) who get to know me think I am sweet, amazing, and I make them feel good. But these are just online friends.
I guess I don't really need a partner in this world, but I do want one. It would be nice to cuddle with a girl, talk, go on dates with, go to the park, hikes, make each other better people.
I would think people are naturally drawn to good people, and no girls are drawn to me, and my teacher was saying that people want to be with the person with the best DNA. So maybe naturally my DNA is not good?
I just feel like second choice, she already knows dating and sex...
And she expect me to be better than her, but I'm not.
She's going to think I am a loser, no other girl has wanted me and there is something wrong with me.
Most Helpful Girl
At this point you need to figure out what is it you really look for. What is your purpose for dating? What are you looking for? You really don't sound like you have an idea about 'girls'. Note every girl is the same. And sadly guys like you can and will get rejected with that way of thinking.
First of all, you are very insecure with not only with people, but with life. What is your belief's first of all? Do you honestly believe that experience is the best teacher? Because I can guarantee you that its not.
Secondly, what are you intentions for dating in the first place? See there are those who are fit for dating and others who are not. Just some are designed for marriage, and plenty who aren't designed for marriage. I'm your age, never dated, is still a virgin, with no romance or ever been kissed romantically. But the difference between you and I is this: I KNOW what I want and need. And its not a relationship or sex, let alone a boyfriend. You have to understand what a relationship in modern day dating entitled. It may go against your believes, and it can compromise you in general. If your not prepared to sacrifice that, its best to stay single.
Also, who cares if they think your a loser. Those are the type of girls you do avoid. You focus on somebody who is interested in you genuinely. You are not going to fit for every girl. Some are conservative, others are liberal. Some are religious, others are not. Some believe in God, others don't. Some want to wait for marriage to have sex, and plenty do not or even care. Some want virgins, others want experience, and some can care less. Some want a person with no experience, and you get those who do want experience. See, this is what you need to understand. Not everybody will take kindly to your views morals or beliefs. You could have lost your virginity to anybody. But this was your choice to keep it. So I will ask again: WHAT are YOU looking for?
While your teacher is correct on the natural aspects of genealogy and such. We are in fact attracted to that, especially to ones who are similar to our own genetics, but also a bit different and healthy as well. However, don't let this be a lust thing. Most of what you see is lust and dysfunctional people getting themselves involved with the wrong people. Hurting and using each other and call it 'love'. You need to know what real love is. You either have it or you don't. Also. You must be already happy on your own without a girlfriend.1
- Show AllShow Less
Most Helpful Guy
Maybe try to fake it until you make it.
Try to act confident even tho you don't feel it and avoid admitting to girls how inexperienced you are.
You're stuck in a loop where you are insecure due to your lack of experience and you are perceived as unnatractive to women due to your insecurity and lack of experience.
Unfortunately being an insecure virgin is potentially the most unnatractive thing a guy can be to a woman. Women will try to lie and say they dont care but realistically most find it unnatractive if a guy is virgin. Girls often accuse guys of being virgins just as a way to insult them. It is almost always used with a negative connotation. You kinda have to get lucky to break out of the cycle, but once you do it should become increasingly easier for you.
Its the same with jobs, getting the first one is often the hardest, but once you get that work experience on your resume the followings ones should be easier to get.
Assuming you are actually attractive then your personality is probably the limiting factor.