I'm in college (last year thank the lord), and I have not slept around at my school or dated really anyone because I'm picky and kinda like older men anyways. Buut end of last year (march) I met a guy, we hung out for 2 weeks before I told him I wasn't interested in more than friendship. We had made out, some other stuff, but never sex, even though he tried a few times. He became really obsessed with me, almost stalker like behavior that made me actually paranoid and scared. He also messaged me weird things late at night. He sent me "I love you, being with you was the happiest I had been ever."
Since then, this year we talked and I told him I still only want to be friends and he seemed to accept it.. but now his friends are after me. They aren't best friends but one is his 2nd good friend and he started messaging me and sent flirty messages and snaps of him shirtless in bed, and he has asked to hang out with me. Another guy who is kinda friends with him has asked me out a couple weeks ago too. I thought it was an unspoken rule that you don't go after someone who your friends 1) dated and felt strongly for, or 2) just really felt strongly for. This guy was obsessed with me (waiting outside my door to talk to me, buying me gifts, etc). What's up with these dudes?
furthermore, I'm interested in another different friend of his... so do I have fair game? I always thought if I went after his friends I'd look thirsty and hoe-ish.
Most Helpful Guy
Well, you've had tons of feedback on this already, but I'll toss mine in as well just to add to the rest. Personally, I wouldn't go anywhere near him (or his friends). Why? Duh. Cause they're *his* friends. You don't think he won't be there, somewhere, in the background. Anything and everything that happens between you will go straight back to him. They'll pass you around like a blunt at a party, if you'll forgive my frankness. Personally, I'd never look at any of my previous GF's friends as dating material, whether they were or not doesn't matter. It's fruit from the poisoned tree.1
Most Helpful Girl
I don't know if it's an 'unspoken rule' so much as just... common courtesy, if you care about your friend anyway. So ultimately, I suppose it just comes down to how much someone values their friendship. Generally speaking, I would say it's not cool for someone to go after one of their close friends' former love interest.1