Do you feel failed relationships ruin your esteem or chip away at your psyche?

In my experiences I am always the sweet one. The ideal dream girl they dream about 20+ years later and search on Facebook because there was nobody sweeter they remember my "sweet smell" my kisses how they felt cuddled up with me. They know I would have been loyal. No question! They know I am giving and selfless and funny they say the sex was great. They hang on to my words and replete them to me so many years later.
The point is I can't be better. I can't try harder. And things end just when things are great. Life pulls us apart. The marines pulled them away as I pursue my life. The guy in the army was willing to do another tear at my base I worked at to pursue me but I told him our daycare was not good I didn't want his kids at it. And I knew they would have to enrolled in it. He said he would trust them there since I was there I told him I work there and I hate it nobody follows policy this lady yells at the kids, they don't lick up medication, the toys don't get clean unless I do it. When I left all the staff and kids got very sick. I told him for selfless reasons you don't want another year here. Or they just act like Prince Charming and after a while bail no ⚠️ warning. I wonder does God hate me! I care about others beyond measure and when they bail I tell them I just want them happy. Nobody cares about my happiness! The energy it takes to be a good person the person I want to be is exhausting and at times I break down. I am a happy person but I fall apart


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm the same as you, my girlfriend of a year dumped me a week ago. I was so incredibly good to her (too good as it seems) and loving. I put my heart and soul in the relationship, I treated her like my queen. I've learned my mistakes now. Anyway, I loved this girl like no other before and I thought it was going to end up with marriage, that's how happy I was with her and how deeply in love I was. She dumped me and said that she was never in love with me and that she should have never gotten into a relationship because she was not ready. She said yes to a relationship because she could tell I was a very good guy and a great catch. She told me that she stayed with me because I treated so well and gave her so much attention. She said that she couldn't make pretend anymore and that she felt so incredibly guilty. To make things even worse, another reason she broke up was because she started getting interested in other guys and might have possibly cheated (I don't know for a fact, but the signs point to yes). She cared so little about me that she broke up 2 weeks before my medical school finals. Med finals are ridiculously hard and extremely stressful, she literally broke up with me at the worst possible time just because she wanted to get rid of her guilt. I couldn't study for a week because I was grieving so hard and now there's a good chance that I might fail this semester which will set me back an entire year and cost me 80k. I've never felt so shit in my life. I hope to one day she wakes up and realizes how wrong she did by me and realize what she missed out on. I deserve so much better and she's going to realize how lucky she actually was to be with a guy like me. That's the only thing that makes me happy about this entire shit-storm.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Here's the problem.

    If all you do is give, then all people will do is take. If you don't set boundaries and demand that your own needs be fulfilled you will always find that people take more than what they give. So don't make your relationships all about how much you can give; your needs must be a priority.

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What Guys Said 8

  • A little. Very little. I mean, it's a bummer that it didn't work out - but then again - if it didn't work out then it wasn't worth it to begin with.

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  • Hell yes. Failed relationships suck. That's why I'm not in one right now. It's too stressful and depressing.

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  • No. Break-ups are my favorite part of any relationship. All the best lines are said during the break up. It's emotionally intense.

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  • It depends why the relationship failed. If you both had a mutual break up then no.

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  • Oh yes, 100%. It's even worse for those who suffer from social exhaustion and anxiety (which it sounds like you do).

    For men, it's not just relationship fallout, it's rejection. People keep telling me I'm sweet, intelligent, caring and occasionally funny but I still struggle to promote a positive self-image, mainly because of how many are not interested. What I offer clearly isn't enough, either.

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  • Be yourself. Those who do not like you for who you are are unworthy of you. Hang in there :)

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  • To an extent. I've been rebounded by a girl I truly cared about and we got along fine but then she ended up using me for sex and ditched me afterwards despite having plans afterwards. It hit hard because we had a ton in common and out of getting screwed over with dates the most, it happened to be her.

    I mean I don't think all women are bitches or anything like that but it has made me cautious about who I get emotionally involved with.

    I know I'll get over it in time but it was rough.

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  • Not particularly. Things happen.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Yes, bit only when I was younger , but now I don't look on failed relationships as a waste of time or negative part of my life , because even though failed relationships didn't bring me what I did want... they taught me exactly what I don't want in my life

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