I rarely fall in love. It has only ever happened once. I've dated many guys but I feel nothing for them. I don't even enjoy being with them. I really want to find someone to settle down with and share my life with. But I never find someone. No matter if I don't look at all or if I'm really making an effort to look and date. It doesn't make any difference, the result is the same - I don't find someone I like.
I've tried online dating on and off for years and I've studied at different schools and taken different classes. But it's not working. I don't have any friends of friends that I haven't met. I don't know what else I can do. Is there a way to force falling in love? Force attraction when there is none, not even after knowing them for long? I don't want to be single anymore, I really don't. If anyone have any advice please share it.
I also want to mention that calling me picky, asking what kind of requirements I have or what I have to offer myself is irrelevant. I'm simply looking for someone I'm attracted to, that I fall in love with and just really want to be with and who shares my basic values/dreams in life (and who feels the same way about me back of course). That is it.
Most Helpful Guy
Maybe you should try women. Or try dating older. Or younger. Whichever applies. Clearly, the type of guys you're giving a chance are not the type that do it for you.
If your standards are so low, then you should have found someone by now. There must be traits you don't consciously realize you want.
But, it's all about chemicals. Only other option is to date a bunch of guys. And to not expect that feeling right off the bat. Especially for women, it takes time to develop, usually. You should still feel something though, probably. But, you know how people say they have great "chemistry"? Apparently that's true. I forget most of it, but perhaps you could look into it. Finding someone chemically compatible with you would mean going for an array of guys and just keep hitting the pavement until you feel something. There aren't a lot of other options.
Unless you want to inject yourself with oxytocin. There is no way to force attraction or love that I'm aware of. Only increasing the chances of finding a compatible person. I actually kind of relate. I haven't found anyone who comes close to making me feel how one of my exs made me feel. But, I've been in love multiple times. But I also don't actively look.
Maybe you're still hung up on your ex: consciously or unconsciously. If you're trying to chase the feeling you had with him, it's different every time. You won't get the exact same feeling, most likely.
Dream journal. Eventually, you might be able to find what traits your subconscious is really looking for, if you keep track of your dreams and try to interpret what your subconscious is trying to tell you. Or possibly hypnosis by a psychologist. Otherwise, you're just going to have to look the old fashioned way.1
Most Helpful Girl
You should never force yourself to feel love. Love is a chemical reaction that happens within us when you find the one! Step back and think for a moment, you're looking for a very specific key in a huge pile of them. It's going to take a long time to find the perfect guy that fits all of your needs. Just like keys, only one or two might work next to thousands. You have to take this into account when searching for something this specific! It's natural that this is taking a long time, but don't give up ever! You'll eventually find the right key and the right guy for you! You should never force yourself to live anyone and you shouldn't rush this. Keep searching and don't give up hope! Because searching helps speed up the process so much more than just waiting for them to appear in your life. You also might just be too picky. I've found that problem with myself very often! I've widened my views and realized that everyone has flaws and that I just need to accept my own flaws and everyone else's! I really hope that this motivates you to continue looking because you will find the one I know it :)2