Would you continue dating someone if they told you they were transgender?

PLEASE, NO NASTINESS ON THIS QUESTION.

Say you've been seeing someone for a month or 2, you know you're going to become official soon, and they tell you they're transgender. Would you keep seeing them?

  • Yes
    27% (26)11% (11)19% (37)Vote
  • No
    52% (50)77% (75)64% (125)Vote
  • Unsure/Results
    21% (20)12% (12)17% (32)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
1mo Assume they've already transitioned completely.
1mo What if they told you after a week or two?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • No, I sure as hell would not continue dating him/her. I would also be pissed that he/she didn't tell me on the first date, and wasted 2 months of my life.

    I would also be severely disappointed and angry with myself for failing to notice.

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    • 1mo

      What if they were scared to tell you?

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    • 1mo

      Even if I was willing to date a transgender (which I'm not), I would *still* break up with them for being dishonest.

    • 1mo

      There was a catfish episode kinda like this the guy ended up being a trans and they been talking for like almost a year before he told the other guy I would have been pissed half a year of depiction is unacceptable

Most Helpful Girl

  • Would you date him/her if they didn't say anything, based on looks and character? That is your honoust answer. You like the person in front of you, not his past.

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What Guys Said 31

  • I would tell people on the Internet and in public that I would so I could look really open minded, but in reality I would kick him/her to the curb.

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    • 1mo

      I've actually never dated anyone who was transgender and I'm not seeing anyone atm, if that was directed at me

  • You wouldn't get on the first date with me I could tell right away

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    • 1mo

      Ow, im sure some will convince you ahaha.

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    • 1mo

      @OrangeBoy yes it is indeed!

    • 1mo

      This is all a sick subject. you're the ignorant one lady who ever you are. The both of you get off my page I'm tired of your notifications and talk about this subject

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  • No, I wouldn't date a guy that thinks he's a girl (or vice versa for that matter).

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  • I feel like an ass for saying this, but the honest answer is 'no.'

    I also wonder if this makes me a hypocrite, because I support transgender rights completely.

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    • 1mo

      Meeh. Tbh I think it's just human to have biases/preferences rooted deep enough we can't do anything about it. Like, I do think it's probably because of societal prejudice at its core, but it's not like there's really anything we can do to stop from picking that up, and it's damn hard to get rid of entirely. So long as you're not justifying it with transphobic reasons, it's pretty much just not something you have that much control over.

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    • 1mo

      @cipher42 Once again, your wisdom belies your age. :) Thanks for talking that through with me. It's a bias that I would very much like to shine a light on. In doing so, I can better myself.

    • 1mo

      Lol thanks. Mostly I just have a lot of opinions on this because it's something I've thought about myself as well. I've spent way too much time reading various SJWesque commentary on various issues, and reconciling said commentary with how I saw the world at the time/with the views of people I respected and didn't want to think less of, and thus figuring out how exactly I can validate my beliefs without contradicting myself or being legitimately unreasonable, so now I have a shit ton of reasonings/rationalizations about all these subjects just sitting around waiting to be regurgitated. Basically I've thought about this too much so now I take every opportunity granted to be a smartass about it.

  • Well I mean if you really liked them and you guys like each other than yeah just because you fin out they are transgender doesn't change the fact that you still liked them.

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  • No. I'm not dating men, but that's not the worst part. The worst part is that they lied.

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  • How do you transition completely? Forgive my ignorance.

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    • 1mo

      They have all they same sex organs as the sex they've transitioned to. So a male transitioning to a female would have boobs and a vagina and vice versa. (that's what I meant anyway)

    • 1mo

      I looked it up they pretty much split open your penise inside out and use the 4 skin as a clit or something like that still don't fully understand t

  • I will not do it. I will not go on.
    I will feel mad at him and myself because i can't notice.
    Why cause i've never ever had an experience with this.
    - 2) I felt in love with a women
    - 3) You lied to me and tricked me in my sexuality

    I don't feel sorry for the goal they want to reach but as in person.

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    • 1mo

      Even if they told you after a week?

    • 1mo

      I still do not do it. It's to new for me. I think i'll starting doubting myself if i'm gay or not.
      Even though i was not thinking about sex in that week. You still tricked me. I would be not that mad but still furious.

  • The problem is... we can't have children.
    That's what can change things more.

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  • No way.

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  • No, because I am interested in women, not a guy in drag.

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    • 1mo

      Buddy, the question presumes you've been dating them for a while. Being transgender in the first place does not at all equate to being in drag, but even then the hypothetical transgender person in the question absolutely would not.

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    • 1mo

      @cipher42
      Those people who pontificate on gender and mental illness. . . your Cultural Marxist loon humanities professors, perhaps?
      There are male, females and, I will grant, a tiny number of aberrations. That tiny number does not equal the number people who 'identify' as something that they self evidently are not.

    • 1mo

      The majority of major psychological organizations, in fact. The people who actually and literally define what a mental illness is and is not. Like, the groups who write the DSM and shit. So again, you are really, really not the authority on this subject- the authorities happen to disagree with you pretty strongly.

  • I'd know beforehand. But for sake of argument. No I would not continue seeing them

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    • 1mo

      A week, a day, a month. Doesn't change anything outside of how upset I'd be.

  • NO!

    Just because someone changes themselves from a guy to girl or vice versa doesn't mean they are what they changed themselves into... they are still the same person... they just look different!

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    • 1mo

      I wouldn't even date a transgender in the first place

    • 1mo

      Ya, they're the same person, who was that gender all along even if they didn't present as it. It's not that their appearance after transition doesn't match who they are because they changed, it's that how they had to present beforehand didn't match who they were.

    • 1mo

      @cipher42 yup you are right

  • It's a deal breaker I would feel like does two months where a wast of time and she should have told me sooner.

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  • I would since i was already attracted to them and enjoyed being around them

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  • No making love will be difficult

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  • No, no, no

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  • I can't and won't go there.

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  • Nope.

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  • Nope. They lied from the start.

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  • Would never date a transgender

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    • 1mo

      Honestly, I'm undecided.

    • 1mo

      It's different because you're a girl. Mtf transexuals are legit horrifying

    • 1mo

      If you wouldn't then that's fine :)

  • Yes I would.

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  • If he is as hot as nong poy , sure

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  • lol and go out with a man
    who believes he's a women
    NO LOGIC
    and no never it's an abomination

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  • Fuck no.

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  • Only if it's post op

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  • I don't believe in short-term relationships; when I get with someone I have to believe they could be 'the one'. But I know I want children one day and medical science currently does not allow transgender people to have a functional reproductive system. So I would stop seeing them not because they were transgender, but because I know I would'nt be happy in the long term.

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    • 1mo

      You don't even have to justify it lol. It's a dude xD

  • on one side, if I didn't notice myself after 2 months then it wouldn't really bother me

    on the other side, lying to me for 2 months about something important like that is a break in trust and at that point a bigger problem than the fact that they are a transgender.

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 16

  • YES!, I've studied a lot about trans and all the process, mentally, physically and psychologically, and if I felt attracted to him in the beginning, then why after knowing somthing like that I would go away? he's mentally a man, so even when born as a woman, he was always a man... I would support him completely... having a penis doesn't make you a man anyways (for those that were born with one instead of "acquiring" one in the process of trans), and having a vagina or a baby doesn't make you a woman... gender is something, but sexuality is another thing completely different.

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    • 1mo

      And yes, maybe if he/she confess this in the beginning of the relationship would make things easier, but sometimes they feel scared (because they're barely knowing each other). They don't know what would be their partner's reaction, and they feel scared of saying the truth... they rather wait a bit to know if their partner is really into them... sort to say...
      At least, that's what I think...

  • no, I wouldn't stay with them. Whether they were to identify as a man or woman is beside the point if, biologically/mentally speaking, they're female. I'm straight so.. that would be a definite dealbreaker.

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    • 1mo

      ? Mentally? I think you have that backwards, though even biologically is questionable tbh.

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    • 1mo

      Pretty clearly not what I said. Different people's brains are different, but that doesn't have to be due to biology. Fun fact: our brains change and adapt based on how we live our lives. Can you maybe go do your research before trying to give me rebuttals based in blatant misunderstanding?

    • 1mo

      @cipher42 This is no misunderstanding, though? You're the one making completely ludicrous assumptions or interpretations of things I say that are perfectly clear for everyone but yourself because it's a valid point against your argument.

      Yes, the brain has a high level of plasticity that permits adaptation+learning. Which is completely different than cognitive/overall neurological differences between sexes.

  • Yep. If I was attracted to them before I don't think their "original body" or whatever would matter to me at all tbh.

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  • Of course.

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  • No simply because it's something I'd like to know at the very start of a relationship by not telling me right away you are being dishonest

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  • I voted yes, I would definitely keep seeing him. Especially if I like him already.

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  • Yes. If I liked them before then I can like them now. Falling for someone's genitalia over their soul is actually very shallow and sad.

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  • They lied to me. They should have given me that choice. It would be over immediately.

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  • Honestly no i wouldn't, and i don't think its transphobic not too. No one should be made to feel guilty or shamed for not dating a transgendered person.

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  • It depends how much I like them. Also if they had the mind set of a man then I'd grow to become more comfortable with it. It wouldn't be the fact they lied or that they once had a female body, it would be the worry that their mind is still the same…
    But then they are supposed to feel like a man (and think like one) so, overall, it should be fine as long as I like them enough.

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  • They are the same person inside no matter how they dress or look. If you truly love this person it should not matter.

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  • Yep I would

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  • If we already had sex and there was no "problem" in any way about it, I would keep dating them

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  • Heck no, I'm a Republican

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  • Only because we would prefer to be told from the start. if ont it will feel like youve been lying to us for hat month or two. hope that helps. xo

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  • No definitely not.

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