Just had a first date but the girl came on a tad too strong, should I worry?

I just had a first date with this overall great girl (beautiful, funny, smart, and sweet). However, I'm worried that she came on a bit too strong/might be clingy. The date went well and we had a couple make out sessions. At the end she drove me back to my place and when she pulled over I told her that I had finals coming up (she knew this beforehand as well) and so I wouldn't be able to see her for another week and a half. I think that scared her and made her think that I didn't want to see her again. She instantly started making out with me and started groping me and basically used that to get me to have an earlier date with her. She made me pinky promise her that I'll see her again. About an hour after the date she also send me a provocative pic saying goodnight. Should I worry that this girl is being too clingy?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Depends on what your looking for. She obviously likes you and if you liked her, go on one more date to figure it out.
    Or you could have this on your hands
    http://youtu.be/14ZO1b3T6jo

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    • 1mo

      fuck this has actually scared me so much now, take out the I love you and virgin part + sleeping together and that's basically how she was. Fuck, whyyy? She's so hot too. This sucks. I just wanted to have some fun.

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    • 1mo

      Hahaha

    • 1mo

      I'm 26 and I was a late bloomer because I was very shy and when I started getting good with women I got into a relationship. During the relationship I had so many women hit on me. That relationship ended and this was my first date since. However, everything feels extremely easy for me now, I know exactly what I should and shouldn't do and I don't get that nervous anymore. I have another date planned (this one was planned before I planned the date with this girl) for after finals with another girl. I also stopped talking with 3 other girls this week that were making it obvious that they wanted to see me, but I'm just too busy at the moment and also don't want to see that many women at once. Honestly, I could easily be a player if I really wanted to.

Most Helpful Guy

  • i dont see anything weird besides the pinky promise lol... maybe thats something the younger people "do" now :)... jk.

    dude lets be real here ok. u said URSELF, she is cute, funny, smart, sweet... so u are lying to strangers? ok so lets say u are not. u think they stuffed all that into one body and so weird wires didn't cross? this is a serious question. find a guy or girl who has a lot going for them. they got some weird things going on. not going to lie. normally because they dont develop like normal people because they never HAD to. one of those talents always kicks in to move them to the next mario level, instead of a normal person having to stick around and learning how to play. im trying to word it here differently but the facts are true and u can look it up if u want.

    long story short, if u think this girl has so much going for her and why would u NOT want to give her a few more tries? find out how crazy she is. all chicks are crazy, u just need that oil dip stick to find out the level of crazy and if it exceeds ur "standard" level of crazy u will allow. my standards are pretty high lol ;) , but im use to some cute ones which normally are the extra crazy ones.

    so i think u are thinking about this too much right now. take ur finales and then date her again and see how cool/crazy she is. if she starts poking holes in condoms then get rid of her.

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    • 1mo

      I do think she's everything I stated that's what I find ridiculous in this whole thing too. I don't want a relationship and if I do end up with one, things would have to develop slowly emotionally (not physically, I still want to hook up haha). Yea I'm definitely giving her at least 2 more dates (unless obviously something is really off). I still haven't decided if I should reschedule or not though. She's fucking hot as hell man and she's made it very clear that I'm getting laid when I see her can I really risk that? I just got out of a relationship and I want a win haha.

    • 1mo

      well there is nothing wrong with an aggressive chick as long as u have nothing against it ;) its fun. maybe she's not clingy but aggressive? maybe the next date try to get her to plan it and let her take over since she was so trilled to do it? tell her its her turn? if she freaks out tell her just joking lol, but relax and see what she does in control and observer her. will give u more time to see what she's up and maybe find out her agenda. not to mention if u give her control and she does like u... well she might rape u lol. aggressive chicks are dangerous lol, but u can't really rape the willing hehe. i would say i have all those traits ;) humblebrag lol. i can't behave either apparently... but all my relationships that LASTED we had sex very quickly. we bonded over that. some people say sex ruins a relationship. i disagree. its a great foundation of trust and once its out of the way its very easy to get to know one another. the real versions.

What Girls Said 14

  • Oh wow, yes that does seem like a bit much! She even made you pinky promise?

    If your gut is telling you something is wrong with this situation, then trust your gut! It is usually right. Don't let this person weasel their way into your life.

    I think you were being fair when you said you had finals. At least you gave her a timeline. But if you are truly just looking to have fun. Then I would let her go. Sounds like she wants a boyfriend and someone who is going to spend lots of time with her. If that's not what you want, then move on.

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    • 1mo

      That's the thing, before the end of the date there were no red flags. I know she only did what she did because she thought I didn't want to see her again, but I didn't like that she was pushy about it. I told her the truth, I told her that I had a fun time and want to see her again but after finals because I'm busy, hell we even planned the date the day before because I didn't want to see her that close to finals.
      I just got out of a relationship and I do want something casual and see other girls as well since I've never really gone through thag stage in my life since I was a late bloomer. However, I would never turn down a relationship with a great girl but I just don't know her and would still want to take things slow.

  • Stage 5 Clinger alert. That's a little bitch much. I think the whole pinky swear thing was over the top. I'd watch out with this one. She seems a bit insecure and falls for guys too easily. She's coming on strong because she doesn't want you to lose interest and lose you.

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    • 1mo

      Yea I've never had this happen to me before but yet again I've only gotten very good with women recently. It's just thrown me very off because I don't want to end up hurting this girl unintentionally.

    • 1mo

      It seems to me that she's dated or seen Guys that have not been interested in her before. Not sure why, but what you're saying could be a huge reason. It's almost like she's trying to trap you into sticking around so if you can't meet up or don't want to she can throw this pinky promise shit in your face and try to play the victim. If you feel the need to see her again... I would just take caution. The more you see her or the longer it goes on, gives her more time to get attached and harder for you to leave.

  • Yup, looks like she's clingy/afraid to lose you. Well, it's really up to your personal preference and if you can handle her being needy for your attention. Besides that, how much do you actually know about her? Any background info?

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    • 1mo

      Naw, she doesn't know how to act, so she is trying to compensate for different situations. I've seen it a lot. You have to set her straight by talking to her. If she doesn't have a personality defect, she will be able to adapt.

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    • 1mo

      @Danevans Trump has said bad things to women. But at the same time, I want you to reflect on how he supported Hillary during Obama's run. Furthermore, while he owned the Miss Universe and other pagents, there were 5 African American winners. Just a bit of food for thought. Trump is mean to woman, that is a given though. But Rosie O'Donell attacked him first. Also, look at Trumps wives, not all of them were models.

    • 1mo

      I don't think either candidate is bad though. In fact, Clinton is favorable for me. BUT, Trump isn't shabby either.

  • Yeah... it sounds a little desperate, and she doesn't seem to have a very good grip on her emotions.

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  • You aren't obligated to see anyone more than once. Her behavior is a little odd if you ask me, so if you aren't feeling it, be honest with her but be gentle about it.

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    • 1mo

      Yea I'm just going to tell her the next tims I see her that I'm just looking for something casual and not expecting anything serious.

  • Yikes

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  • If it wasn't for the pinky promise thing I would say no but yeh that was over board. Go with your feeling, if you felt overwhelmed then that's reason enough to run the other way.

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  • She doesn't seem very clingy yet. Just see how it develops.

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  • It's weird!

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  • Fuck yes.

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  • Sounds like a desperate hoe, js.

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  • Why do you date such awful girls? Thats your fault if you continue

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  • She might have just been worried that you were using your exams as an excuse to never see her again, so she came on strong to try to keep you hooked. I'd say give her another chance in case this was a one-time situation.

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    • 1mo

      Yea everything was going great until then and there were no red flags other than her being shy and nervous at the start, but that's normal and I used to be like that too.

    • 1mo

      Wait and see if she keeps showing signs of clinginess. First dates can be tough/awkward so it's very possible she just got nervous and tried too hard!

  • She sounds very clingy. But, if you guys wanna keep seeing each other, make sure you tell her your intentions the next time you see her. Whether you just want fun, or just wanna take it slow, whatever it is you want. Just saying this upfront is the best way to go.

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What Guys Said 13

  • If everything was going fine before you mentioned not being able to see her for a few weeks, it could just be that she was worried you weren't happy with the way the date went and tried to do what she thought a guy would want to make the date better. I can understand where a statement at the end of a date might make a woman thing you're trying to ditch them and they might panic if they really like you.

    I'd be a little worried about it, but contact her when finals were over for another date and see how things go.

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    • 1mo

      Yea but I had made it know that I had finals and I even planned the date only one day in advance because I didn't want to be caught up with anything close to finals, I told her this in the middle of the date too. She should have trusted me that I wasn't bs her, I was being genuine with her and just found it a turn off that she became that pushy at the end.

  • Yeah I'd be concerned too. I mean there's women showing interest then there's being over the top clingy like you described. It's up to you if you wanna see her again, but tell her you want to take things slow, state your intentions, and let her know that if you're gonna keep seeing each other then she has to knock off that behavior.

    I dated a girl who was very clingy like that who told me she wanted to meet again on the first date, nothing wrong with that, but then blew up my phone daily and would send provocative pics if I didn't respond soon enough. Every time I'd say yes to a date or would offer to reschedule, she'd ask if I was still interested. Then after our last date, she texted me 5 mins after saying if you're not into me, let me know at least when there was nothing that warranted that.

    I can't handle that type of insecurity and clinginess to the point where I can't do my own hobbies without being accused of seeing others or playing someone.

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  • I sense a red flag - She seems very insecure - Cancel the date and promise to have a next date as soon as finals are over but in meantime just stay in contact , see how she reacts.

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    • 1mo

      I was thinking of doing this and I know this is fucked up but she's really really hot like really hot and she even said that she wanted the next date to be netflix and chill when she was trying to convince me to see her sooner. I really want to sleep with her and don't want to fuck it up haha. Please try to understand, she's very hot and she wants to hook up in a couple days, can I really turn that down haha? She's 22, perfect huge perky rack, beautiful face, great hourglass figure, and a booty to boot. I'm just a man and have my needs too.

  • So the girls really into you and that's a... problem? To each his own I guess.
    I would call that a good date and I'd be looking forward to the second

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    • 1mo

      Much agreed.

    • 1mo

      I'm not ready for anything serious at the moment and I can understand where you're coming from, she seems like a great catch too. She's fucking hot as fuuuck (hottest girl I've been on a date on), seems very smart, is a nurse, and says she's past her party days, on paper she's fucking great. However, I still don't know her dude. We could be very incompatible and when we figure it out she might be way to attached which means it would end with someone getting very hurt and I don't want to hurt the poor girl. I hope that makes sense.

  • Like you said, she may have only done it because she thought you were losing interest.

    I'd say give her another date. Keep it casual, slow down a bit, and see if she follows suit. If not, break it off.

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  • A little. She sure seems to be into you. While some guys may want this, other guys don't - at least sometimes. I'm guessing you're in the latter group?

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    • 1mo

      this is the first time in my life that I'm in the latter group, I swear this is some cruel joke, I just wanted it to be friends with benefits

  • I don't understand the problem...
    36.media.tumblr.com/.../...gslfKWCu1sysrze_540.jpg

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    • 1mo

      having someone giving you too much and not what you deserve just puts too much pressure on you. I don't want to hurt this poor girl, we only just met and don't really know each other or how well we actually get along. I don't want her to put all her eggs in my basket in case we're not actually compatible because that will make the break so much more painful for her and I don't want tk hurt her.

  • Start worrying

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  • Naw. Girls are just as clueless on how to act as guys. So she if she is coming on strong, just tell her. She is simply trying to make you like her and taking a risk.

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    • 1mo

      Yea I think you might be right. Isn't weird how even a great girl can fuck it up by being very strong haha? I mean she's very pretty, smart, and nice, but I just don't feel like I deserved all that from her, I was going to see her after finals and I told her that I had fun, I didn't like that she pressured me into a decision because she was scared of not seeing me again. I don't know, it's such a red flag.

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    • 1mo

      When I told the girl, in my opinion, that things were moving too fast and that she needed to slow down and quit acting too insecure , she was too oblivious and that was a sign for me to leave.

      It's crazy because guys have even more pressure to not be clingy and sometimes what girls perceive as clingy isn't really clingy. I won't lie though there's been times, albeit rare, where I had dates with girls and felt a connection early on and got a little attached but I kinda kept it to myself and backed off because I didn't wanna come off too strong and overly interested. Sometimes it just happens and we can't help who we like and feel for but I think what matters more is how we act on our feelings than the actual feelings themselves.

    • 1mo

      What's not true?

      And yeah a lot of times people think others will find out their own flaws and problems on their own but that is so not the case, especially with a lot of flaking and ghosting that happens in dating now these days. Whatever causes a person to flake or ghost, sometimes the worst explanation can be none because the person doesn't know to stop what they're doing if no one tells them and it isn't blatantly obvious to them.

  • If she's as great as you say she is, then I don't see a problem here

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    • 1mo

      Well I still don't know her. How well can you really know someone after about 2.5 hours? She could just be great at first impressions and actually be a psycho for all I know.

  • No. Nothing wrong with a little clingy. Just give them reassurance and people won't be clingy.

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  • You didn't, you did great, bla bla blah

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  • She sounds clingy, and that's a very good thing. You're in there man!

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    • 1mo

      Yea but I'm not ready for anything serious at the moment. I just want to have casual dates and hook up, I think I'm going to have to make this known to her.

    • 1mo

      Don't be a degenerate. Enter the relationship seriously. If you're not ready, then leave and come back when you're ready.

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