Girlfriend (20yrs) has a baby craze and wants one with me (19yrs) she's "ready" I am no where near. What should I do?

Me and my girld friend have been dating for a year and a few months now. We tend to have a lot of sex and can't go more than a few weeks without. We met and still attend the same university. i spend my time mostly at her house and see her parents a lot. My parents dont like the idea of a seriouse relationship at least not yet. Well one day an accident happened where the only thing we could do was wait and find out if we where to become parents. We both panicked and thought things out about how would we still work and attend school and so on. She thought things out in her head and said she was ready. She is more mature and has had to pull her own weight a little more than I have. She is as smart as a whistle in some things but naive in others. She is the book smart one while im the street smart i guess i would say (im no fool either in books but hey im a slow learner). She had her outcome and then I had mine. Im immature and just not ready for something like that. Im more realistic than her and I just want whats best for my hers and our families future. so when the shock past and we found out we werent going to be parents. She would always talk about wanting one now. When we would have sex we wouldn't really use protection ( its bad i know). Every now and then she would ask me to just not pull out. And one time she even got mad that i did. But later apologized and explained herself (because she wanted a baby). I love her but She just keeps doing this and I dont know what I should do. I want whats best and realistically thats focusing on our school and selfs right now. She thinks she is ready and has thought"everything" out but I tell her its not that simple but she then says im just scared and i am still imature. Like i said i love her but I dont want to be stuck in an average life with an average future. Our parents and we have worked hard to be where we are at right now. I want her to realize that and see what I can do.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like she's just disappointed... having a baby with a man you love is exciting... it is the beginning of the female dream... but I agree with you—it is WAAAYYY too early, especially since both of you are in school :/ That is a lot of money to waste by not being able to finish to prioritize a child :/

    I think she'll eventually come to her senses... just be patient with her... explaining to her very calmly (consistently) is your best bet... it might take a while, but I think she will eventually calm down... she's just disappointed... 😕

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly? SHE is not ready either. If I were you, I would put some distance between you and her.

    Or bombard her with hard facts:
    --financial readiness. I bet neither of you have a house yet, let alone finished school.
    --emotional readiness.
    --can she handle a dog? Get one, a BIG one, and see how that goes for a few years.

    And for fuck's sake, put condoms on your wiener, from here on.

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What Girls Said 4

  • She can't force you to be a parent like that's just not right... Bringing another human into this world is a huge responsibility and if you're not ready for it then you have every right to stand your ground, no matter how pissed she gets. You're doing the right thing.

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  • You guys are really young to be thinking about kids. You're kids yourselves!

    Hopefully this baby craze of hers passes. I've had this feeling, but then I realized I am no where at all financially or mentally prepared to have a child.

    That is some serious stuff.

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  • That's crazy don't do it.

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  • You are the mature one actually. Both are too young to have a baby and there have so many responsibilities that you both need to take. Umm, you'd better tell her honestly about what you think as well as your plan of you guys future (if you want to have a long-term relationship) It is more acceptable for girls.
    **Show your concern and intension on the relationship.

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What Guys Said 4

  • She obviously is not smart enough to understand, that neither of you can raise a child, let alone having a family right now.

    You both are irresponsible. Next time you will catch that bullet

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  • Don't do it.

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  • Don't do it! Finish school first and get settled in financially. Also start wearing a condom just in case if you don't want her to get pregnant

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  • Borrow some one else baby for a weekend and see if that doesn't snap her back into reality

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