Have you ever fallen for someone that you knew wouldn't work out?

Maybe you both share different values or beliefs that you just can't overlook, or the age gap was just too much?

Also, does having sex earlier in the relationship make you fall for someone faster, or are you totally unaffected by sex?

Updates:
1mo When I say "knew it wouldn't work out", I meant that you both mutually had feelings for each other, but for some reason could not be together because of those circumstances?

I guess I am referring to the "Romeo-Juliet" scenerio, to clarify/deaded my question with cliches...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • No. But I have discovered it wasn't going to work out, with someone I had fallen for. I screen girls during the dating phase. So if we reach bf/gf status I've already fallen for her, we have good chemistry, I have a pretty good idea of her personal beliefs and who she is in general as a person. It's only when something peeks through that I missed early on or there's a deal breaker I wasn't even aware I had.

    Like I dated a girl back in college that I didn't notice it for awhile, but she talked shit about her friends. I knew she gossiped a bit. Spend time around any group of girls. That's bound to happen. But she and I were at her house one day, when she started ragging on a close friend who wasn't in the room. In that moment I felt disgusted by her. With that being a core aspect of who she was I just knew it wouldn't work.

    Being a good friend and showing true loyalty matters to me a great deal. So seeing her not show loyalty to a friend like that bothered me. That was the beginning of the end for me.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I did and he was at least 2 decades older. It wasn't that tho, his world was completely far from mine. He was a big socialite and bushiness man while I was just out of college and looking to start my life on my own, make a name for myself. He wanted to help me by giving me a job and having me live with him but I wanted to be on my own for a long while.

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    • 5d

      thanks for mho :)

What Guys Said 10

  • I have. We didn't have sex tho. But I fell for her. It was the first and last time I was friendzoned lol. I learned my lesson. She was very religious and I'm an atheist. We were opposites in a lot of ways I suppose, but that was the main difference.

    I don't know if sex makes me fall for someone. I know I like them before we have sex. If I get to fuck the girl I like well hell yea, i'm happy cuz I like her lol.

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    • 1mo

      That's kinda where I'm at... he's an atheist, and I'm a Christian..

    • 1mo

      He's so awesome in so many ways... but our religious beliefs don't match up, and I can't found a future together on that...

  • Falling for someone?

    No, I am a logical person so I don't believe in something like falling in love. That is just nonsense, I mean to me it is. Hence NO, I have never fallen for someone and I will never do that, ever.

    It will just not happen.

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    • 1mo

      Okay, so you don't believe in love.

      Do you think you could ever care about another person so passionately that their happiness and wellbeing exceeds your concern for your own?

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    • 1mo

      @watercolor_lions

      "Do you think you could ever care about another person so passionately that their happiness and wellbeing exceeds your concern for your own?"

      That is a very good question and honestly speaking. No, I cannot do that, I don't think so why because along with being a logical person, I am also rigid and close minded as a person. I am also very selfish. Yes I am selfish and I accept that, I know why and for what I am selfish though.

      Now, I have always been single but to answer your question assuming if I was in love, if I was in a relationship then I would definitely be the taker in the relationship, the woman would be the giver and I won't be able to really return the woman the same as she would give me. For example if she would give 80% in the relationship, I might be able to return only 20% or something.

      cont...

    • 1mo

      cont..

      Hence I would and most of the times be only taking from her. However the most important point is, eventhough I would be selfish. I will never use, manipulate the other person for my benefit. Never.

      I will never take advantage of the person's giving nature but I won't be reciprocate properly either because of my selfish nature, close minded nature.

      Hence I can never care so much about the other person and their happiness that can exceed my own well being. No, that will not be possible.

      There is a good reason why I am single and why I always will be. That would be my honest answer.

      Please don't assume anything, please ask if you didn't understand anything.

      Once again, sorry for not answering earlier.

  • Let me tell you about the sex.

    Me and a girl lost our virginities to each other. We werent in a relationship at the time. While I fell madly for her, she didn't want a relationship with me. In fact, I pissed her off one day, she immediately stopped talking to me, and when I tried to win her heart later she had me arrested.

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  • Yes, I have.

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  • Yeah. Every girl usually

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  • Nope. That's a huge turn off.

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  • Yes... but she will never know... and before you ask, yes it is Hillary Clinton... JK, WTF?😑🔫😅

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    • 1mo

      The beauty and severity of your joke was all destroyed by the political correctness of that squirty gun 😂😂😂

      Go Liberals...

    • 1mo

      😂😂😂😂😂

  • That was my last relationship. We met online and it was going to be a one night stand since we lived almost 2 hours apart. We had a great time and decided to see each other again. Then it looked like we'd be friends with benefits then we got into a relationship. She knew that i was moving in 2 years. Anyway about 5months in we were both in love (or so I thought) and she told me that she'd be moving to another country in about 6-8 months. I was so sad, but I stayed because I really loved her and as selfish as it was I thought I could convince her not to since she was only moving for a couple years and just for the hell of it. She broke up with me a couple weeks ago and now looking back it's obvious that the relationship was one sided and she never fell in love with me and just made pretend because she knew we were breaking up anyway and I was good to her. Feels good knowing you were manipulated into thinking the first girl you fell in love with was actually in love with you.

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  • Yeah, a co worker. She let me slap her ass, after having only known her for a few days. I talked to my co worker friend about it, he told me she said she likes me. I asked her out, but, she told me, we're too different, age wise (she was 34, I was 24). I think she just thought I was cute, but didn't actually want to date me. But man, was she freaking gorgeous.

    We both no longer work there

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  • Yes, but she didn't feel the same way

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What Girls Said 10

  • Yes, this has happen to me in the past. But to see if they are right fit for me. I usually ask questions and dont involve anythinf sex related. And after the first ohone convo, I usually can tell if he is someone I would want to keep around for awhile or if its just a casual sex fling from time to time.

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  • Story of my life...

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    • 1mo

      Care to share?

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    • 1mo

      Hahha oh trust me, the thought crossed my mind, but it made me happy to know he was happy and she was a sweet girl (we are good friends now). But besides that I was fighting back tears so me trying to stop the wedding confessing my love would have been awkward!

    • 1mo

      Lol... yeah, it would have been... and I'd feel so guilty doing it at the wedding, rather than before... those things are expensive!

  • Yep and it turned out to be a disaster. Also yes sex ends up getting more attachment involved especially from the female side so be careful who you make your memories with.

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  • Yes, I think so. I know it was love for me and for him. Every day I wonder what we could've been

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    • 1mo

      What happened?

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    • 1mo

      :/ I feel ya... There was a guy I dated, and it's taken me 8 years to get over him... I couldn't wrap my mind around what went wrong, but it was destroying all of my relationships that came after it... I was so convinced that we were gonna get married, but he never told me that he knew we never would... not until like a year or two later...

      I finally realized recently that I had allowed my shortcoming with him to be the standard for all of my other relationships... and when I finally realized that even the best (we felt like soul mates) couldn't make me whole, and that no matter how great someone was, they would be insufficient... I felt better. Because now I feel like I can enjoy people instead of wondering if they will be "good enough". Now I just see them as themselves...

      I hope things get better with your guy... I really do get you... relationships that end, and you don't understand why are the worst... I actually need to contact my ex today

    • 1mo

      and release him from that burden of failure (this was a recent one). Nobody should have to wonder what they did wrong forever :/

  • Yeah I have

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  • ALL the time

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    • 1mo

      Care to share?

    • 1mo

      There was an older guy that I started talking to a while ago. He was like soo perfect, but I think my age among other things bothered him the most. So eventually, the relationship just died out cus he rlly couldn't face the whole age thing.

  • yes I did

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  • I have not.

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  • Nope I haven't fallen for anyone yet.

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    • 1mo

      Yeah, you guys too!

    • 1mo

      @Theodorable thank you

  • I fell in love with a sailor whom obviously, do to his career would never work out. He travels all over the world and I don't. The sex with him made me fall for him fast. I haven't seen him in a year, so he's starting to fade away.

    Now, I have friends with benefits, who's attractive and an attorney yet I have no feelings for him other than sexual ones. The sex with him did not make me fall for him. Sex, on this case, is purely lust and primal at best.

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