Can a gay man fall for a straight girl?

I have a friend that is "gay". I met him through mutual friends and we've been close ever since. He tends to go after older guys because they take care of him type of situation. Long story short, I've grown to care about him and I am physically attracted to him. The guy he is with now informed me that my friend always talks about me (he agreed with my friend on having open relationships) and told him how he really likes me and wishes he was "bi". The thing about that is my friend kind of is bi but is more gay I suppose. But we both agreed that we could never "cuddle" anymore because it'll just confuse things and might lead to more than cuddling. So we quit doing it. My question is is that is it possible for a gay man to like a female possibly fall for a particular one? Like I said before, he talks about me all the time and even like yesterday I was laying on the couch and said something and he was like "what? you wanna have sex?" (jokenly). So any advice? I really do care for him.

Thank you in advance.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Short answer: This type of stuff really is difficult to answer on his behalf because nobody knows his feelings better than him and sexuality is complex as is so there is no straight forward answer.

    Long answer: I'm going to break this down for you, but you need to ask him this as well. If he is gay, then that mean he does not like girls in the slightest. There are levels to this from my understanding of what I have studied in terms of sexuality.

    The blanket terms we know of are sort of outdated so I'll you in on the more... refined sexualities but not at all accurate fully.
    - Heterosexual: A person who is exclusively sexually attracted to the opposite sex.
    - Heteroromantic: A person who is exclusively romantically attracted to the opposite sex.
    - Heterosexual/romantic: A person who is excusively sexually and romantically attracted to the opposite sex.
    Now you can fill in the blanks for the rest. Now for my thoughts. Sexuality can be fluid as well as romantic attraction. It's a spectrum really. Is it possible for a gay man to fall for a woman? in theory, he would not be fully gay if he can have ann attraction to a girl. Maybe have him look up the Kinsey scale and see where he lands. This is something that you need to talk about with him personally rather than us because all we can do is speculate. I rather not fill your head with false hope or see someone else do it.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Of course its possible. He might be bi but doesn't accept it (yet) he might have a strong preference for men but there's still a part of him that also likes females. It's not uncommon.
    But in some cases people get so close they think they like each other in that way when it turns out it's only plutonic love (my best friend thought she was bi for this reason lol and dated a girl but she then realised the sexual attraction wasn't really there).

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What Guys Said 6

  • *jokingly

    Also, it sounds less like he's gay and more like he's bi, like you said. Why would he want to stop cuddling if he's not into you?

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    • 1mo

      That's what I'm saying. If everything was "ok" then why not cuddle?

  • Only if he's not a homosexual

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  • yes that's possible

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  • He self-identifies s gay, based on his life experiences up until now, but he can't know if he's 100% gay unless he had met every woman on the planet and lived his whole life already.

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  • Well he wouldn't be gay then. Thank me later OP.. I'm a goddamn genius.

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  • Probably. David Geffen fell in love with Cher back in the 1970s. Apparently it was an intense and passionate romance.

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What Girls Said 6

  • He can think he's fallen for the girl, but the thought of kissing her will not appeal to him... SO, in the end, nothing will come of it.

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  • Yea hun, definitely possible, it all depends of how... Committed? I guess you can say, to either gender he is. The cuddling incident proved it, its possible for him to fall for you.

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    • 1mo

      Thank you very much! Yes, when I did cuddle w/ him.. uh... I'd want more than just that. He even got up abruptly and said he had to go sleep in the other room that he didn't trust himself.

    • 1mo

      Well, there you have it, certainly glad I could help!

  • well I've known gay men who have sex with women or have romantic feelings for women but dont date them.
    I mean anything is possible in 2016.

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  • I suppose he could like you as a person and wonder what you'd be in bed but, doesn't want to mess up the relationship you have currently because he also knows you're straight so, he may be thinking about your feelings so that you're not the one who gets attached since he knows he won't. It's also possible that he just likes your company and likes teasing you about straight/gay stuff.

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  • He might just want sex, lots of gay guys still like to fuck straight chicks.

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  • Bi or pans. How can he be gay if he likes girls.

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