Why do I attract guys who are only looking for sex and nothing serious?

These are also guys that I meet at city, political, and other professional events. Not at clubs or bars. I have tried online dating and have failed miserably as well. I just don't know why I can't seem to meet someone who is actually willing to take me seriously. Is there something I can do? Or am I just destined to be a toy forever?
FYI: I dress elegantly and classy. Not too much skin or anything that gives off the vibe that I'm looking for attention. All of these guys compliment me on my looks all the time.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The majority of women your age have the same issue. You're not giving off a vibe at all. It's just uncommon for a guy to want to be in a committed relationship that young.

    Look, women will always be able to easily attain sex no matter the age and/or looks. Men have a shorter time frame... unless they become wealthy or seriously good looking.

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    • 1mo

      The thing is that it's so easy to find sex online. I don't know why guys waste their time with me when there are tons of girls who give it up so easily.

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    • 1mo

      Why is that? lol I love politics and I'm not crazy or deceiving haha.

    • 1mo

      You may not be but the dudes... I know more sexually perverse politicians than regular people and i hang out with some real dirt bags (lol). For guys, they see politics, money as an avenue for power and said power gives them dominion over women (apparently).

      Just keep meeting new people. You're bound to sharpen your people skills and catch you a gentlemen.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Date younger men. Thats what I plan on doing now that Im at a university. Older men are more immature than younger men

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What Guys Said 18

  • You attract them and you are attracted to them because they show a sexual interest in you. I bet you reject plenty of guys who are looking for something long term because they're likely quite boring/ugly/awkward whatever.

    The ideal guys who are fun AND are looking for relationships are rare and probably already taken.

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    • 1mo

      They do not initially show sexual interest in me. I end up finding this out after spending time w them.

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    • 1mo

      I wouldn't.

      That's what I'm saying, there isn't anything you can do about it unless you're willing to change your requirements OR you keep playing the numbers game and hope to strike lucky. Sad but thsats how it goes.

    • 1mo

      The OP pretty much already said it but no I wouldn't expect you to date someone that you're not attracted to. However, those people go against you original question. They are looking for something serious (so you're not only attracting guys that are looking for sex), but you turn them down. So the problem isn't the guys that are approaching you, its the ones that you're willing to give a chance to.
      Also there's just not many guys that are serious that you would likely find attractive.

  • I don't know the answer to your question. But just stick to your guns and hold out for someone who wants a relationship. There's nothing wrong with that.

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  • Here's the thing, the charming attractive guys that will come up to you at those events and seduce you, those are guys that know that they can get plenty of girls relatively easily, so of course they're not going to take you seriously. If you want to meet a more serious kind of guy, change the way that you're meeting them.

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    • 1mo

      They don't seduce me at those events. They come across as normal guys wanting to get to know me. I am unsure of their intentions until after I hang out with them.
      Everyone says to not meet guys at clubs/bars and online if you want to be taken seriously. I tried going to those events to see if I could meet someone who takes me seriously and as you can see, it hasn't worked. I ran out of options here. If I can't meet decent guys outside of clubs and bars/online, where can I find them?
      If charming attractive guys can't take me seriously, should I just go after guys I'm not even attracted to?

    • 1mo

      Yeah I wasn't happy with the word "seduce". But they sound like the kind of guys that know how to get you to like them. Kind of like high class players. Where to find girls/guys is like one of the hardest questions to answer. I've never met anyone who has a confident answer to it.
      As for your last kind of question, it depends on what you find charming. Maybe the kind of guys you find charming are just mostly these guys who act serious at first but aren't actually. Maybe give a chance to guys that you find somewhat attractive, but just not as much. Thats just an idea though. Finding someone attractive that you find charming and has the right level or seriousness is pretty rare and maybe you're just like a lot of people who haven't found one yet.

  • Maybe because most guys aren't serious. Maybe because you are willing to have sex with guys before you find out if they are serious. If you only want to have sex with serious guys, you are going to have to get to know them better before having sex with them.

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    • 1mo

      I haven't had sex w any of them. They give the vibe that they are just looking for sex though.

  • Instead of asking "Why do I attract guys who are only looking for sex and nothing serious?" what you *should* be asking is "Why am I attracted to guys who are only looking for sex and nothing serious?"

    Remember, there is a common denominator here, and it isn't all the guys.

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    • 1mo

      Thats messed up. She can not control who approaches her

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    • 1mo

      @Ahsain I don't go out with every guy who makes sexual advances and the guys who approach me are looking for sex 99.9% of the time. I'm not a mindreader.

    • 1mo

      Thats not what I'm trying to say. What I mean is that if all the guys that you give a chance to are guys just looking for sex, then you should also be asking yourself why those are the kind of guys that you're attracted to.
      Also, guys who approach you will almost always be looking for sex because those are the kind of guys that approach you. Because it's not a big deal for them, either they're going to have sex with you or they're not. Guys that want something serious will usually treat meeting a girl that way, they usually won't be the one's walking up and talking to a random attractive girl. So if you're only sample group is guys that approach you, it's gonna be almost entirely guys looking for sex.

  • Not sure what your experiences are but are you mentally stimulating them? for some guys, intellect and conversation doesn't matter so much. for others, if they can't feel stimulated intellectually, they would just fuck you but feel no attachment

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  • Date older guys or find them at church

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  • I feel like you are probably chasing the very desirable men, they have options and can sleep with a lot of women. If a guy that age can sleep with lots of women, he is not going to want to have serious relationship with one. Human Monogamy was only invented so that beta males could get sex too, and so women could get commitment and protection. You are going to have to go after a beta male or just bang the alphas that don't want to date you.

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    • 1mo

      I'm not chasing anybody. THEY are the ones approaching me. I just don't know why a guy would waste his time pretending to want to get to know me when there are tons of girls out there who give it up so easily.
      Should i just date guys who I am repulsed by since those are the only types of guys who actually want a relationship?

    • 1mo

      Yeah alphas will approach you. They don't know if you are easy or not just by looking at you, you are potentially one of those tons of girls that will give it up. About 70% of men would be betas that would date in order to get a steady stream of sex, if you aren't attracted to 70% of men then that is your problem! and you will have to either date them, be alone, or be sex to the alphas.

  • Here's a general rule; guys want sex first and a relationship second. Doesn't matter what you do, if a guy finds you attractive he's gonna think about slamming that clam first before thinking about taking you home to meet his parents. That's life.

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    • 1mo

      How can i know for sure if any of these guys are taking me seriously?

    • 1mo

      You won't. Such are relationships. Perhaps if the guy still talks to you as much after sex as he did before sex, then that'd be a good indication.

    • 1mo

      So I actually have to have sex with them in order to find out if they were serious about me all along? I'm trying to prevent myself from getting hurt. If I have sex with them, it'll be too late for that.

  • I would love to fulfill
    Get talking to a guy in your area and start talking sexy to him many send a few nude pics and he will get the idea. I know I would I am trying the same thing to find a girl to have sex with

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  • It could be bad luck (you're still young), or the guys don't see you as girlfriend material or you are selecting guys who are like that (they're likely to be more cocky and handsome).

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    • 1mo

      These are guys approaching me. I'm not selecting them.

    • 1mo

      You're choosing who you want to talk to and, if it comes to it, who you want to have sex with.

  • have you fucked all these men?

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    • 1mo

      not at all. I just sense the vibe that it's what they're looking for.

    • 1mo

      so no harm done. just keep dating. see whats out there. its hard to meet good people in general. if you're an attractive women I'm sure it will be hard to trust men in general. just keep dating. I wish I still had the energy to date.

  • Seems like u got dat ass

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  • All girls attract guys like that, you probably need to pay more attention to the guys' actions.

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    • 1mo

      I do and they all do the same thing.

  • Where are the good girls? I mean good guys can be found in class, work or charity events

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    • 1mo

      This is where I try to find these "good guys". However, even there, there don't seem to exist...

    • 1mo

      Not all will be good you basically have to go on a bunch of dates to find one but to increase your odds those are the areas to look into

  • Because the good guys you want are the friend zone.

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  • I am shocked right now girls usually hate those guys who are only looking for sex...

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  • Stop dressing sluty

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    • 1mo

      Did you not read the description to my question? I do not dress slutty at all.

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