Is it time for guys to stop asking for the number?

I've been on an internet thing recently... my mind keeps figuring out ways to get ahead of all the technological advancements that are especially utilized by young people.

one thing occurred to me this afternoon:

Why ask for the number when you can easily get the snapchat?

Cons of the number:

-It raises her defenses: Who is this guy?

-It raises her insecurity: What does it say about me if I give my number that easily?

-It raises her boredom: Every guy always wants my number

Pros of the number:

-You can call/FT more easily than any app can do (well, not technically. Skype gives the clearest pitch)

-You can call/FT ANYTIME the phone is on

-The fact that you're at the level of texting and calling suggests you all are at a closer level of intimacy than apps (though this can be debated

Cons of Snapchat:

-She doesn't always have to have it on (Though she usually does)

-She may not have notifications on (I honestly have no clue if she does)

-You could possibly be seen as gay for liking snapchat so much you ask for that instead of the number

Pros of Snapchat:

-She'll almost always say YES (Even if she doesn't like you/ know you that well)

-Other guys might not be thinking of it, yet (Novelty Factor)

-More fun/dynamic than stilted texts back and forth

*** Final General Thoughts on Getting Ahead of The Pack

Important to note how important it is in general to be thinking about the future possibilities of everything. If something like snapchat truly is capable of "replacing the phone" then capitalizing on it early rather than when the masses migrate grants a huge advantage. It's like being the designer versus being the gamer for the nerds out there. An example could be those that jailbroke their iphones before iphone apps even officially came out. we had gameboy emulator and FREE roms--as many as we wanted that worked PERFECTLY.

Is it time for guys to stop asking for the number?



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Most Helpful Girl

  • I've had guys ask me for my snap before. it always resulted in getting then "send noodz" message much much faster than normal.

    I'm also not that big into social media and i enjoy being around people who aren't always glued to their phones so when guys ask for my snap, i normally thing that
    1. They're way too into social media
    2. they're probably just looking for lewd pics
    3. They aren't interested enough / dont care enough to ask for my number so they can make an actual connection with me

    All 3 are a huge no no for me personally.

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    • 1mo

      where are you meeting these nudes obsessed gentlemen!

    • 1mo

      ^ that's what I'm wondering lol. I've never asked for nudes via snap. I've received them, but that wasn't the goal.

Most Helpful Guy

  • All this microanalysis is just irrelevant if the girl actually likes the guy.

    You could be dealing with an insecure self-conscious virgin.. if she finds the guy hot and feels the connection with him.. all that insecurity, anxiety, and attachment and significance behind holding onto her V-card go away.

    If you have to sit there and think, OMG what if this, what if that, what if etc. .. just move on to the next girl.. no matter how "worth it" her friends and family pat her on the back and say she is.. she's really not.

    Everyone falls within a bell curve.. you're not going to find "perfect," you're only going to find "reasonably good enough." So, don't waste too much of anything trying to get someone religious to perhaps explore the idea that humans "Created the Creator," or a Democrat to explore the idea that "High spending and free shit isn't free, and "the RICH" don't pay for it.. the middle class do," or a Republican to explore the idea of letting go of their "Dog pack mentality.. stop criticizing "radical Islam" and yet adopting every radical ideology on abortion and guns that FOX NEWS feeds you."

    At some point, you just have to say "fuck it," and move on with YOUR LIFE.

    Again, all this microanalysis, it's interesting, but it's more hassle than it's even worth to think about (let alone implement).

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What Girls Said 20

  • I hate it when guys ask for my number. If they get my number they can easily find me on plenty of social medias. I MUCH much prefer snapchat. Also much easier to just delete the guy if he's no good.
    Snapchat is my main social media though.
    Most people these days in my age ask for snapchat rather than number tbh. I don't think I have ever asked for someone's number in like 5 years tbh 😂 snapchat though yes, many times. I hate calls anyway 😅

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  • I hate when a guy asks for my snaps. I feel weird about sending selfies. I also don't check it as much. It is harder to get to know someone with only snapchat. I wouldn't snap a guy regularly because I don't always want to take a pic of myself. I also don't know if we are at the point where I can just send pics of my surroundings and a message. It also feels as if this gives him permission to send random dick pics. No one wants random dick pics lol

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    • 1mo

      Hey what's your snap?

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    • 1mo

      " I also don't know if we are at the point where I can just send pics of my surroundings and a message" <-----you really don't get snapchat lol the whole point is sending your surroundings and cool shit you do during the day to everyone/snapchat story

    • 1mo

      I'm not always in the position to do so nor do I want to. By surroundings, I meant the crappy pictures that are just taken, so you can reply to the person.

  • Don't have snapchat, don't want snapchat. If a guy asks for that I'm going to assume he's a pervert right away.

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    • 1mo

      seems harsh but ok. coudl be your age?

    • 1mo

      Maybe I am harsh lol I don't know.

      We could blame lots of things on my age if we wanted to.

  • one of the things about the number is that not everyone uses snapchat, linkedin, etc. i myself only use facebook and GaG, and i rarely go on facebook. so there is some points to the number. one of the main issues i have with the number is when a guy asks for the number, without asking for my name first. hmmm... what does that tell you? to me that means he just wants sex, and it ain't happenin'.

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    • 1mo

      even at 33?

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    • 1mo

      @redeyemindtricks you'd be surprised how much that happens. it always happens to me at work, and i don't wear a name tag.

    • 1mo

      yes, even at 33

  • I'm the type of girl to especially avoid giving ANY of my social medias. You're better off asking for a phone number, but I'm taken so none of this is relevant to me anyway.

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    • 1mo

      and a nerd

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    • 1mo

      @cchris999 Lol oh my goodness. I'll just use my real life example.
      If a guy has my social media it's because I already knew him and he's no longer a stranger. Meaning we have several of the same friends, or we're in the same class or have had some kind of exchange in which he already knows who I am. I would NEVER give my information to a stranger. In order for me to like someone, I would've already had interaction with him to eliminate him being a stranger. At that point is when I'd share my social media because he already knows me.

      My boyfriend and I went to the same highschool, had all the same friends, and knew each other already. Even though we weren't close, we knew about each other and always had crushes on one another. We started to really talk at my friend's birthday party. We talked for so long that when we went back inside the party was over. I didn't have a cell phone, so we opted for FB. The first thing I did was ask for his number. The large majority of our conversati

    • 1mo

      conversations were over the phone. The only time we talked online was if we couldn't be on the phone and the second we could was when we stopped messaging and called each other. Now he's the opposite of me, and he's not a big talker. His preffered method of contact is through text, but that's not what it was like for us. We always spoke either on the phone or in person, any other option was because we couldn't speak together becasue we were in class or doing something. After him becoming my boyfriend he encouraged me to make a snapchat and an instagram. I did, and I didn't use them like that. I have no pictures on insta, and rarely post on snapchat. Because when we speak we're together or over the phone. Never has social media been my source of getting to know someone.

  • I do not do snapchat - But I realize I am one of the few who doesn't! I enjoy being low-tech when I can - I still have a flip-phone haha. So hopefully the whole world of dating does not shift into snapchat alone! But it does seem like a cool way to be casual and flirty I suppose. I tend to think that I lot of that snapchat stuff never leads anywhere though... like you might snapchat all day - but never go on a real date I suppose. I have the similar opinions about tinder...

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    • 1mo

      yeah no as a guy thats one of the major reasons to quit you realize many girls are just looking for that comfort/ are too shy to meet in person. but as i've said in recent takes, the key is to get so many girls info that if you find out one is super shy/not serious about meeting up you trash immediately.

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    • 1mo

      eventually? nah, you just get to experience what every person should--the ability to have so much attention that you can choose which attention you do and do not want

    • 1mo

      Yeah I guess that I did not really mean what I said in a negative sense. I agree that everybody should have options when dating - and not just be stuck with whoever is in their actual vicinity. Technology gives us options and the ability to browse those options very quickly - I just think it can be sad to dismiss so many people, people that are probably amazing and wonderful, so quickly. And it can also be sad to meet great people online but never actually meet up in person. I think snapchat can further depersonalize the process of dating is all I am saying. Like instead of meeting one great person and devoting all your attention to her maybe you are snap chatting ten different girls, but not really being genuine with any one of them. Just a thought? Like I said I do not do snapchat or instagram or tinder so I am obviously pretty biased ;).

  • Cons of snapchat:

    - she might not have snapchat (I don't)
    - she might think you just want her for her body, and want her to send you nudes (unless that is what you want)

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  • I use snapchat but its usually just putting funny/stupid things that my friends and i do on my story. I have a bad habit of getting distracted so having a legit convo on snap is a little dangerous for me. I will open the snap and look up, get distracted or have to do something. Then when i go back to SC i have forgotten what they said exactly and i feel awful. So i much more prefer my number. But then again i dont really text or snap anyone i haven't actually met sooo 🙃 I also get asked for my number more than i get asked for my snapchat. At least then if you have the person's number you can add them to snap, if y'all wanna snap too! 😊

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    • 1mo

      you girls seem to be ignoring the fact that a lot of times when a guy asks for the number he doesn't get it especially if he's just talking to her randomly on the street. for instance a single girl will tell a guy she think is cute but asked for the number too fast "i have a boyfriend actually" whereas she'll tell a guy sure you can add me on snapchat when she actually does have a boyfriend because she doesn't realize snapchat is actually a more effective way of getting her attention

  • No guys need to start texting girls more than snapchatting, I'm trying to talk to you if I was trying to have you see me, I have FaceTime.

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    • 1mo

      why would you want to talk someone you don't want to physically see?

    • 1mo

      Nah, you got my words twisted. I ain't trying to have an online relationship wether that's intimate or just a friendship. I'm not giving you my number if I wasn't planning on seeing you

  • I don't have Snapchat. Personally, if a guy were interested but then didn't have the guts to ask for my number, itd be a turnoff

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    • 1mo

      lord jesus i don't think you get how FAST this stuff actually happens.

    • 1mo

      i'll be in an elevator with a hot girl she'll be taking a picture of herself i'll tease/ask her if she's on snapchat she'll say yeah 30-50 percent chance she'll ask are you? and then BAM we're friends on snapchat.

      now try to get a phone number from a hot albeit vain girl during a 30 second elevator ride saying only as many words as "are you on snapchat?"

    • 1mo

      Well in that situation it doesn't matter. I was referring to the kind of situation where the guy had multiple chances to ask for my number

  • Personally if a guy was to ask for my snapchat instead of my number, I'd get turned off and think he's not serious.

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    • 1mo

      lol women will always find something to be turned off about

  • I deleted my snapchat
    also when someone asks me about it I think he wants to exchange nudes.

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  • I don't even use snapchat.

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  • I made the mistake of doing snapchat instead of texting several times. It's a terrible idea and it kills budding relationships. It's actual format and purpose literally says "I'm not willing to commit to you now or ever."

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    • 1mo

      Yeah but you can reach much more girls than ever before

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    • 1mo

      @cchris999 and I sure won't so there's why I don't do snapchat. It's expected.

    • 1mo

      3.5 billion girls someone is gonna send nudes

  • I would probably give almost anyone my Snapchat, but I would probably give almost anyone my phone number as well...
    The deference being if I guy asked for my Snapchat I'd think he wants to be friends, but if he asks for my number...😉

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  • LINE id

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  • I hate Snapchat. I'd prefer my number.

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  • Not everyone online all the time :P

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  • People already ask for snapchats instead for numbers

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  • I always get peoples facebook info but then again I don't have snap chat-lol.

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What Guys Said 31

  • What? The cons you listed for asking for a number are actually cons and the pros you listed for asking for snapchat are cons. Why do you want to weasel your way into getting a girl's interest even when she's not interested. You're overthinking this wayyy to much. She's either interested or not, simple as that. If she's not interested getting her snapchat isn't going to magically make her interested in you. I'd rather know if she's interested or not asap, so if she doesn't give me her number that's great because then I can forget about her and go after another girl.

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    • 1mo

      He's saying even if she's not interested "before" she knows you. Superficial things can keep a girl from being interested asap

  • I've never understood why the guy doesn't just give the the lady his number (perhaps on a business card if he has one) and if she calls great, if not, whatever... move on. I'd be more willing to offer somebody my own private info rather than asking somebody for theirs... and I would think women would appreciate not being placed into the awkward position of having to accept or reject it on the spot.

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    • 1mo

      yeah and i know guys who do this but to me i feel like girls wouldn't want to be the one to make the call/ it ignores the fact that its a buyers market for girls not guys. i could be wrong though. it does get tiring always being the pursuer when you work volume like i do... you feel like the pushiest person to ever live only because you're always pushing relationships closer to the sex zone

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    • 1mo

      i do get it. i just think the risks i said exist and you'll lose some numbers simply because the girl doesn't feel comfortable txting a guys number out of the blue plus she's got so much to juggle with other guys but pros and cons to everything

    • 1mo

      She does likely have a ton of other guys competing for her attention... I wouldn't want to blend into that group and be viewed as just another one of them. I also wouldn't care about getting fewer numbers... it would be quality over quantity.

      I understand the way it works, though... and I'm sure what I'm saying could reduce a guy's chances with some women.. I guess I just wouldn't mind taking chances to be sure women were viewing me different from the masses of men she encounters. You'd be surprised at how crazy it can make a lady if she feels like she can't just win your attention by being a female.

      Just my two cents, of course.

  • Not everyone is on snapchat. I for one still don't know what it is and I have no idea if I'll ever bother getting it. So this option does not work for guys like me.

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    • 1mo

      i think if you believed you'd meet a really hot girl/girl of your dreams you'd make it. i understand your skepticism though and i don't claim consistently though i did get a date out of just getting snapchat and going back and forth (and she HATED talking on the phone and was a slow txter) again as i'm noticing you have to be into slightly superficial girls to benefit from this

  • I like that analysis well thought out - One drawback of Snapchat possibly, are you widening the path to possible friendzone.

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    • 1mo

      Shame

    • 1mo

      potentially yes which is why you have to be ruthless with cutting girls off as soon as you see she's not into you like that even after you send snaps back and forth. i'll usually just stop talking to them and i've developed a "line" as it were which is actually not totally false where i go something like "oh, you know i guess we don't have that much chemistry" and then stop talking to her and about 50 percent of the time she'll come back to me and start qualifying herself etc. again i'm not inventing stuff just trying to figure out applications that, while not as sexy an approach from a guy who wants to look like a big pimp, is nontheless effective

  • LOL. "Hey, so like, it's weird these days to simply be a man and ask for your number so instead... can I be uber creepy and get your social media info right quick?"

    Younger guys are such pussies now; lmao, grow a sack, get her number for fuck's sake...

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  • You're not ahead of s***, you're just lazier. "Apps" are just programs, I have yet to see Apple create something revolutionarily innovative, oh wait, the massive constrictive user agreements which seek to squeeze every last dime out of you, disempower users, and make every move possible to ensure they don't go under like they did in early 2000s. Social media is bad enough with lack of accountability removing face to face interaction. Girls love the low risk, convenient security and access to variety it brings. But think dude, you are still exchanging information, it's just encoded with anonymity, which screams I'm not serious. As a dude, you should think texting is gay.

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    • 1mo

      of course and thats still the problem i'm cracking but you can't deny having access to a really hot girl easily without real work is a good first step.

    • 1mo

      At first, like masturbation, but in the end you are screwing yourself.

  • We go for the number because that's what you do. Try setting a date at a place you've never been through Snapchat. There's a high chance that you'll forget either the exact place, time or even date.

    I've found women to be more defensive about giving Snapchat out than a number and vice versa. Ultimately, if she doesn't trust you with a number, then you should probably move on - she may be crazy.

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    • 1mo

      i feel like text convos last the entire day nowadays so presumably if you txted in the morning to confirm you'd still have it on you?

      interesting that i've found the opposite. i'm not disputing you at all maybe it's something in our approaches that makes numbers work easier for you and snaps work easier for me.

  • Yeah numbers are so 2010 itsall about getting each others twitter acounts.

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  • Snap is much better. Flirty pics throughout the day that turns into sexting.

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  • I would disagree. If a girl is interested in you and you've had a date or two, let her ask for snapchat.

    Your take sounds great in theory. In reality it absolutely does not work.

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    • 1mo

      lol well i haven't field tested it so i'm not sure. i think what i'm finding from asking this question is that it may work on a CERTAIN type of girl who's so vain and superficial that she doesn't realize how susceptible she is to getting flirted with over snapchat because she loves it so much.

      smart, more rationale girls such as on this site probably either don't use it or are too shy to use it with guys who aren't their boyfriends

  • I'll stick with the number route. If she's too defensive about giving it out, and doesn't want to offer her snapchat, IG, or FB, she probably isn't interested.

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  • I understand what ya sayin mate but i personally just find it easier to connect with people in person and to establish a connection after via the good ole phone.. Guess im not much for the whole internet thing tbh

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  • I always ask for the phone number, that is more intimate and personal than a social media profile in my opinion.

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  • you have been listening to the internet too much. the more ways you can contact some one the more confusing and like a stalker/creepy guy you will look. so keep it simple stupid. its worked for decades of years before the internet was invented. dont text her: call her. so she can hear your voice. vist her in person so she can see your face. stop over complicating things. your great grandpa got your great grand mother without the internet.

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  • I found a fool proof way of talking to women, add her on facebook, chat with her for a while (that if she actually continues talking to me), then after a while ask for her number, if i dont get it then fk me, i move on , girls are weird, i guess its better to move on to the next rather than get stuck chasing one girl around.

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    • 1mo

      yea i've done that. FB is an interesting beast. on the one hand, you've got the social proof of mutual friends even if its just the one (which can bite you in the ass if she tells your mutual friend or friends) and fb is more respected where she has your name school work etc. can feel better that you're not a creep. i don't prefer it but thats another thing about social media there are so many damn choices

    • 1mo

      Lol, this is exactly how my boyfriend started talking to me haha!

    • 1mo

      its how things usually start these days for two important reasons,
      1- everyone is busy and wanna do their thing
      2- men are not as brave as before i admit my dad probably had no issues walking up to a girl and asking her whats up, i do have a problem with that even though i've done before and fb is easier.

      All i can say is that women these days especially the attractive ones play lots of games, they want you to chase them without them making any effort and if they stop responding they expect to hear from you , but to me if a woman stops respinding it means she lost interest and i move on, only once i actually messaged a girl telling her to forget about what i told her and iam not interested in her anymore, it was a problematic issue, and to my surprise she kept apologizing and telling me she doesn't want to stop talking to me and wants to get to know me... two weeks later she got engaged , girls play games if i feel iam getting into one i move on.

  • I don't like using social media much, so I'd rather have her number. Suppose if she was worth it I'd be willing to take her FB instead.

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  • Why are trying break traditional dating way? Remember our parent didn't use snap chat Facebook and they still great success in dating

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    • 1mo

      if i'm write about this man then our fathers will not get laid the way we do... we will have more variety more partners than they could ever imagine and all because we didn't hold ourselves back to what came before simply because it came before

    • 1mo

      Lol tell that to older men and see what they think. Our parent probably had better choice than you think

  • If she doesn't want to give you her number getting her snap chat won't save you.

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  • Have been doing this years. It's pretty awesome. Plus the convention with snap is that when u open a message you reply immediately.

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    • 1mo

      true i didn't think about that. so you've gone from either meet to snap to sex or meet to snap to girlfriend before?

    • 1mo

      Ya, although snap is just an intro man, they key to getting to know people is just spending time with them, it's that simple. The only real utility of snap is to arrange meet ups until they just become a regular occurrence.

  • Ugh. If we are going to throw everything else out from the past, at least keep the phrase "Hey mah let me get yo number" 😃

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  • I'd rather raise her defenses and insecurities than take the chance that she'll think I'm gay.
    It's not nice, but there it is.

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  • You know for how twisted my face maybe... I've never asked a girl for her number, but somehow managed to get a couple without even asking. 😏 maybe I'm special

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  • I don't like meeting internet girls...

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    • 1mo

      i can respect that but while i can't prove snapchat is the way i can promise you its possible to get laid every night of the week every week for months by a different girl with the volume thats on the internet... probably VERY FEW 9s and 10s but you can get solid 7s and 8s if you profile is together and your text game is solid.

    • 1mo

      Trust me I KNOW lol

  • I agree. I'd rather just ask a date there on the spot. All of the numbers I've gotten have led nowhere.

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    • 1mo

      i hear that a lot actually. and this coming from guys who have amazing skills getting numbers from girls

    • 1mo

      It's easy to get numbers, but it's not easy to get girls.

  • I don't use snapchat and I predict there are others, too, that don't have time for that nonsense.

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    • 1mo

      hey if you're getting screwing hot girls as much as makes you comfortable then i wouldn't change a thing

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    • 1mo

      it's always relevant

    • 1mo

      I can imagine teenagers thinking this way.

  • Let's l @ snap chat. What a waste

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  • I think women should just give their number, we dont need to ask for it.

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  • What about female friends though? What if they read your message and don't reply for ages?

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  • People still ask for phone numbers? Usually girls just ask me for my facebook. The main problem with phone calls is that they're so expensive unless you have the same provider and free calls to people with the same provider

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  • Why bother asking for her shit at all? Men as a whole need to stop approaching women. Saves you time of being used.

    If she wants you then she needs to come and get you. #EQUALITY.

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