Would you want to be chosen just for your looks?

Would you want to be with someone who just wants you because you're good looking? Like they don't even know you much and don't even try but desperately want you so much just because you're a good catch and probably good for their ego if they date you or end up with you. If they don't appreciate the other ideas of yours but treat you like a trophy thing. It's not that bad to be someone's desire, but as a person it makes you feel kind of worthless on a deeper level for that person.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm really not that confident in my appearance so I kinda like the idea of a girl who is really attracted to me but I guess that still wouldn't matter if I don't like myself first.

    As far as it making me feel like less of a person, I don't know. I believe looks are very powerful and have a huge effect on how you perceive people. Hypothetically you could have two people with practically identical personality traits, but you would likely perceive their personalities differently based on how they look. So you kinda have to accept that how you look plays a huge role in attracting people. As long as they also appreciate my other qualities, I don't think I would care too much if my looks were what initially drew them in.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • We're ALL chosen for looks AT FIRST. ALL of us... Except the partners of blind people.
    Before we get the chance to learn anything else about each other, looks are THE operative criterion. The only one. Everything else comes AFTER we see one another.

    The questions you SHOULD be asking are...

    1) How LONG would I tolerate knowing that looks are STILL what PRIMARILY keeps my partner ATTRACTED?
    ... As opposed to intimacy, raw sexual chemistry, mental connection, personal history, AND *commitment* (which can be sexy as hell... Oh yeah).
    Some people are OK with this for DECADES. For others, if either the raw connection or the chemistry isn't there IMMEDIATELY, we're gone.

    2) How much would I tolerate NOT being chosen for my looks?
    Honestly... I NEED to know that my man found (and still finds!) me IRRESISTIBLY hot.
    If it was one of those "meh I was good-looking *enough* to meet his 'threshold' ... and then it was mostly everything else about me that really got him" type of situations... yeah, I would really not be ok with that.

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What Guys Said 12

  • I don't mind hooking up with a girl like that if the attraction was mutual, but it likely wouldn't amount to much

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  • That's really all I have going for me, and even then it's a very specific look - big nose and the like.

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  • In high school, no girl would even talk to me. I was quiet, I had no friends, I had acne everywhere, I was not funny, I was not talented.
    10 years later, years of hard work in the gym, and maturing, all of sudden girls want me.

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  • that´s what you´re always chosen for. at least at first. but if she likes me for my looks, that´s fine for me. if she likes nothing else, it´s not.

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  • I'd be fine with a relationship starting like that, but I wouldn't want to have a long term relationship just based on that

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  • No, i wouldn't want be chosen or judge by my looks. A persons personality is what i look for in a girl that i would choose.

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    • 1mo

      and what would you call a guy whose main criteria for choosing a girl is her looks?

    • 1mo

      I call a guy who judges a girl on her looks a judgmental /picky person.

  • No. I'd prefer to be chosen as the person I am as a whole.

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  • Of course not

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  • Yes, that would be great.

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  • She will have to accept me as a person First.

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  • Like a committed relationship? I need them to find me both sexually attractive and emotionally.

    If they only like me for my looks it's just a hook up NSA. If they like me only for my personality then it's just friendship unless I like them in which case I cut contact.

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  • I'd like it for a while.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Every guy I turned down was simply because of that. I will not be in a satisfied relationship because of a shallow person who is just out for that. What purpose does one have with such a person except for sex and procreation? That is not a loving relationship. But an abusive one.

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    • 1mo

      even if it's marriage. it won't be a healthy marriage

    • 1mo

      @Asker

      Of course! Looks fades with time. Not everybody age up well if they don't take care of their health. Unless its a genetics thing. Plus they want me for ME, they only want what they can get out of me. And they don't believe what I believe. I already knew what they were about and into. So my answer is always a no. Then they get ticked because I shut them down. Your right about it being an unhealthy marriage. I can never live with myself for that.

  • Not just for that no. I'd feel very little value and always worried that if my appearance changed they would leave

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  • No. I'd want him to find me very attractive yes but more importantly it's good to value and respect who you're with as a person.

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  • Like a trophy woman?

    Never fuck that shit

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  • No, I wouldn't. People are much more than looks.

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  • Nope.

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