How to handle a crush who is too nervous to talk to you?

He is 17. And I have a major crush on him as well. He has talked to me a couple of times - the more of his friends are nearby, the shorter the conversation. If his parents are there, forget about it...
Based on his actions [which is long and I won't get into it unless someone wants to hear it], I think he must have a pretty intense crush on me and is too nervous to talk to me much. He often seems like he wants to say something but doesn't. When he is completely alone (no friends or parents nearby) he is able to talk to me a bit, but he usually can't look me in the eyes more than a second or 2 and he tends to stumble on his words a bit.
When he has to come close to me, he tends to seem a little tense and more rigid, and he won't look at me at all if he's within 5 feet and knows I see him right there. If I say something to him in these situations, he gives a weird pause and it's like the simplest phrases take a few seconds to process and that's all he can say. Then he'll avoid me for a while.
I told him I'd love to hang out with him sometime, and he said he was too busy to date anyone right now - truth, actually, but could very well also be fear or something. Thing is, dating was HIS word. I never said it.

I will likely only see him once more. I really want to at least get to be friends with him, get to know him a little, but he's too uncomfortable to talk to me much even though he clearly wants to. Is there anything I can possibly do to help him? I'm thinking there isn't anything I can do, but... never hurts to ask I guess.

Thanks :)


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What Guys Said 2

  • My suggestion is to just be his freind. Let him fully warm up to you. He does not want to date then just be his freind. Just go over and talk with him. Over time he will be more comfortable around you.
    With the dating part. He wanted you to know that he was not ready. He knows that you like him so he told you his intentions.

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    • 1mo

      I would LOVE to be his friend if that's what he's comfortable with. My problem is I don't know how to do that because he apparently gets so nervous whenever I try to talk to him that he can't unless we're basically alone - which is hard to do in the situations I see him in.

    • 1mo

      It will just take time and effort. At church I'm fairly good at getting along with the shy women that go there and the new girls that are shy. Because I just go over and warmly say hi and start talking with them. Time and time again until they feel comfortable and start openly talking with others there.
      I wish there was a short cut but there is not sadly.

  • Well do you like him to?

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    • 1mo

      Yeah... that was like my first sentence.

What Girls Said 1

  • You need to keep approaching him. Eventually he will feel more relaxed around you.

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