I don't know what's wrong with me, am I wrong for giving up on love?

Don't get me wrong I'm a very loyal guy, I try by best to keep a woman happy. I'll run to the edge of the earth for someone I care about. But I'm not a push over I'm very assertive take charge kinda guy) My thing is it never works out. My only relationship was in 9th grade I was cheated on. It lasted a mouth๐Ÿ˜‚. I left love alone for seven years. Not because I was broken but because I always feared never being good enough for a woman. Once I tried dating agin I was friend-zoned, the second time I was used for temporary company and sex. There other girls that I've tried dating but I could tell there weren't interested. The two who would text and call me all the time I assumed were interested but they just want someone to fill a certain void in there lives. As of rn I'm to afraid of even trying agin my worst fear of not being good enough has come true and it's cause me more problems than I anyone would think. For instance i now have performance anxiety due to my fear becoming a reality. I even contemplate ending it all ok so depressed. Achieving my financial goals doesn't help, trying new things or going new places doesn't help. I really feel like my life is pointless. I've pushed everyone that close to me away. Am I wrong for feeling this way?


Most Helpful Girl

  • there's nothing wrong with wanting to give up on having a partner or a spouse. Not everybody is designed and built for marriage or relationships. Not everybody is built to be parents either. However the problem is that you've been having meaningless sex and you need to stop having premarital sex in the first place. This is why your in the rut your in. Everything has consequences. And you have been hanging around the wrong kind of people. Right now, you need a lot more time for yourself. Because you sound like your going through burn out. You've been so burnt by these women so much, your basically about to break. That's not good and very unhealthy.

    Also stop with the performance anxiety mess. You don't need to cater sex to women outside of marriage. You know why sexual compatibility was invented? Whoever invented that crap of a name? To make people stupid, naive, selfish and confused. Its to hurt relationships and good marriages. And its to hurt people like you, who want to be somebody that people can count and rely on. But if this is so bad that you have pushed everyone alway from you. Then thats really not good. Your going to have to do two things. Either suck it up and move on from the past, or get serious professional help. And even with counseling. Unless you learn to have more confidence in yourself, and have a better purpose for your life. You won't get anywhere. Their there to hear you out and give you some point of direction. But its up to you to take sound advice.

    • Your right and I'm trying to be positive I'm doing new things. Trust me if it wasn't for this my life would be perfect. Don't get me wrong I cherish my family, friends, everything I own, my talents and career, but a relationship with someone who truly lives me is what I've dreamed of since a kid. But like you said they aren't for everyone and I feel like I'm one of those people and it hurts me to the core. But I will suck it up and forget about it. I have to get my confidence & let this stupid dream go.

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    • I will, & once agin thank you

    • You welcome again. Sorry. I meant to say that he's not about feelings. You can't trust it. You can't lean on your own understanding.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Short answer YES! Never think this way about yourself because your mind controls everything. You are making it harder for yourself and allowing this depression and fear to take over your life. You have to gain your confidence back, trust yourself, and have some faith.

    I understand that past events as stated by you have always been on your mind since but the thing is you are different now, this is years later and you have become a stronger man with more real life experience. Do what you enjoy most whether that's traveling, doing your job, discovering new things or ideas, or just watching some shows at home. Live happily, laugh, get excited, always think positive and your life will come back together before you know it. The less you think about this ๐Ÿ’ฉ in your mind and how "bad" you are, the better off you are because you are not stupid nor deserve to live a sad life.

    Go out, do your hobbies, find new interest, and most of all, make new friends! As time passes some of your female friends may turn into a more serious relationship as you get to know one another and you could be back in love without even planning on doing so. The whole point is, don't think so hard about these things because they happen NATURALLY so just go with the flow. I have faith in you, do you believe in yourself? Best of luck man ๐Ÿ˜Ž!

    • Thanks so much for your inspiring words. I know it's gonna take some time to overcome this but like you said I have to have faith go with the flow. I'll go do the things I enjoy and try to keep a positive outlook on all of this. Hopefully it all works out. Once agin thank you because your opinion has given me hope once agin.

    • Yeah anytime man. You have hit the bottom and it will all just keep going up from here on out as long as you stay POSITIVE. Your mind and emotions and thoughts play such a crucial role in your life and they must be taken seriously if you want to be healthy and also happy. So less stress, more fun, be yourself, and no regrets because life it just too short to waste even a second!


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What Girls Said 2

  • Nothing is wrong with you, it sounds like you are mildly depressed and being very hard on yourself. Start thinking about you, and taking time to treat yourself to something you like. Find a place you are comfortable at and perhaps you will meet a lovely lady that enjoys the same interests. When you see her move with confidence, don't let her know you are nervous. Be a pro. Fake until you make it!!

    • Thanks for the advice, I will try to fake it until I make it

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    • *I am

    • Good :)

  • well honestly I think you are wrong for feeling this way. it's all choices you are making. and you've pushed the ones who care the most away.. why? do you not want anyone around?

    • The crazy thing is the girl who I'm trying to get over is the one who cares the most. She cried twice when I told her I don't want to be friends. But I'm just in a space in life where I think so negative that I feel it's best I stay to myself I don't want the ones close to me to worried about my problems. I'm trying my best to be positive about it all but my thoughts are haunting me.

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    • aww.. only if she knew this.. does she know this?

    • She knows I care about her, she knows that it still worries me that she hardly eats at night, she knows I'll would give her the shirt off of my back. I doubt if I tell her that I think of her all the time it wouldn't matter. She loves him and that's just something I have to deal with. No matter how much I love her, how many nights I spend in tears it won't matter.

What Guys Said 1

  • Welcome to dating in the post-feminist world...

    • I've gone my own way after having similar experiences.

    • It's sad, but I guess I'll have to go my own way also