Why Would A Girl that I See Often Enthusiastically Agree to a Date and Then Never Get Back to Me?

Long story short:
- Met a girl at church.
- We seemed to get along well.
- I was very direct and asked her out on a date.
- She very enthusiastically said yes.
- I suggested a day and she said that she would get back to me.
- She never did.
- I will keep seeing her every week.

In this situation, wouldn't it be better overall if she just said that she's not interested? It's not like we met online and will never see each other again...


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What Girls Said 1

  • I think she was happy to have the offer to go on the date with you, but maybe you didn't come off as the person she thought you were, or she didn't feel things would work with you, which is why she never got back.
    Maybe she isn't seeking something serious now, maybe her family stated their opinion on dating, or perhaps she felt differently about things after the date was over. I'm not sure what church you both attend, but I have a friend who even through high school was never allowed to date. Not until she was at least 18/19, and only people approved by the family. She was asked out a couple times over the years, but always had to say no because she had morals and her families opinions really mattered to her. It could be this situation with that girl too, depending on what she believes of course.

    You could always pull her aside and ask if she has time to talk.
    It's difficult not having answers, but this would be your best bet to find out the real reason. I hope you do get answers.
    But in the mean time don't dwell on it, or let things get you down. Since she sees you at church, and doesn't come over to say anything more about the date, I would just let things go.

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    • 1mo

      We're mormons and we're both 29. There's a lot of pressure to get married (especially at our age) so I'm a little surprised that she would be acting like this. I'm a very recent convert, but she's been mormon for 6 years. So it was a little difficult to believe that a woman so pretty in this church would be single for so long. So there's probably more going on with her than I know (especially since I just transferred to this ward and really don't know anybody).

    • Show All
    • 1mo

      Yeah, she responded tonight saying that she's not looking for a relationship right now. Man, this sucks. Clearly a gentle way of telling me that she thinks I'm unattractive.

      Now, I'm not sure what to do. She seems like such a nice person, but I don't want to get closer to her and basically put myself in the friendzone when she has no interest in me.

    • 29d

      I wouldn't wait around for her if I was you. She know's your interested, and she also admitted to not wanting to be in a relationship at this time. I don't think it has anything to do with your looks, she clearly has other things more important, and that's okay.
      You can stay friends with her if you'd like to, but that is your decision to make and what you want to do. Since you do have feelings for her, and have taken an interest to her, being friends could be difficult. But again, do what you feel is best.

      My advice would be to distance from her a bit, take some time to get over her and get back into the dating game. You may click with someone else from your church better, or you may find someone there who is interested in you. It's possible :-)
      Don't let this one girl get you down. You don't have to wait for her to be ready for a relationship either, because that's not fair to you. Do what you want, what will make you happy and soon enough you'll get over her

What Guys Said 1

  • Think about that last statement. You will see each other on a weekly basis. This was probably running through her mind as she was confronted with the choice of rejecting someone she has to see again, or taking the easy way out and offering a buffer to give her time to think. So give her time and if she doesn't get back to you, then you have her answer. She didn't do anything inherently bad since she never agreed to a day. She doesn't really owe that to you. If she doesn't get back to you, pretend like nothing happened and move on.

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