Girlfriend thinks I put too much importance over Money, what do you think?

Hey y'all,

So I'm 23 and been living on my own for 5 years now. I had time to fail, step back on my feet and learn from those mistakes.

The problematic right now I think isn't the fact that I put too much importance on money but more likely that my girlfriend doesn't put enough importance to it...

She's been living on her own for only 4 months; she still lives paycheck to paycheck to pay her bills and her rent at that point. She has parents she can ask money to, I don't so I have to work my a** off instead.

I'm an entrepreneur too so money, in fact IS important to my business because without it I wouldn't be able to thrive in what I do.

**What do you think, is money important to you and what should I tell her to make her understand my point of view?**


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Money is important. You need it to live in your house and buy your clothes and food. You're being smart, that's all. She's just still not reached there yet, especially since she doesn't have to.

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    • 1mo

      How to make her reach that point? I'd really like her to understand it by herself, I know I had to be poor and not eat a lot of food for a few months before I knew I never would stop making as much money as I could to be secure...

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    • 1mo

      Her dad is moving far away in a few months, her mom as well so she might get a rough idea of what it was for me at some point; although e-transfers are still an option I guess.

      What if she argues with me that money isn't important and blah? I always feel the need to tell her it is after arguing with me, there's just way too many reasons why it IS important to be disciplined, budget, save and make money all year long to feel secure and confortable...

    • 1mo

      Ask her if it is not important, why do we all go to work when we don't want to, why do we get evicted if we don't pay the rent and why can't we just walk into a grocery store and pick up what food we need and walk out again. Majority of people are not working in careers they love, and in fact many are working in careers that make them unhappy in life, but money is so important they need to sacrifice actual happiness for it sometimes.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think she's explaining herself well maybe. Maybe she means to say you have too much love for money. Some people are too into it imho. We all have that buddy that see's every aspect of life is a way to profit off of it. Flipping baseball hat, shoes, cinder blocks they found in an alley, broken down cars, homemade sandwiches for a week. Granted they claim because it's their side business... it's something more. It gets annoying.

    Be honest here, how often do you talk to her about finances? At your age is should never happen unless you're married or have a kid together.
    Also, most 23yo live paycheck to paycheck man. You're just the exception.

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What Girls Said 14

  • I don't think you realize that you two live different lives. Money isn't always important to people because of their personal reasons and convictions. I'm sure what she's really saying is that you become so obsess with it that you want to be super rich, is materialistic and making money your god. Instead of appreciating the benefits of just working for your own paycheck. Money isn't all that important to me either. We know that you need money to pay bills, buy food and your mortgage. And if you want certain things in life, then you got to have it. BUT. There is a reason why we need to be just as careful on how we use and spend money as well. Because the love of money can take you away from your good friends, family and the people close to you.

    Nobody is promised tomorrow. And there is no guarantee you will be able to keep that money. Overall you need to understand that you are an entrepreneur. Making money is your job. But that is not her job or her life. You both are on two different zones and wavelengths. And that is perfectly fine. See this is where you need to stop with the: "... I think isn't the fact that I put too much importance on money but more likely that my girlfriend doesn't put enough importance to it..." This is wrong. She is not the problem. Your just not seeing her way of thinking or accepting of it. Learn to understand each other, not belittle because one's personality is different from yours.

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    • 1mo

      I would never belittle my girlfriend, she just has to learn a few things like budgeting and all. She spends more than she makes, THAT is a problem.

      I'm not addicted to money either, I like making lots of it to reinvest in my business and grow as big as I can. I barely need 30k to live in a year, I stack all the rest.

    • 1mo

      @swolebookworm

      Then that's fine. Does she want to earn how to budget her savings?

  • You are on the right path. As a business owner, you bear the WHOLE brunt of all consequences. You are right about her attitude. She has someone she can ask money from. Keep doing what you are doing. 😉

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    • 1mo

      Thank you for your reply, I like being independant but without money it would never be achievable by any means.

    • 1mo

      My mom has been a business owner since I was 8 or 9 and it has turned me into a very business minded young lady. I'm too mature for my age but you have big dreams and if she can't be right there with you, then maybe she isn't the right one.

    • 1mo

      She will learn by doing mistakes, we are different on that kind of thing but it doesn't change much for me; I still take my own decisions and she likes me the way I am even though I have my wrongs and my goods.

  • Congrats! Money, financial stability is absolutely important for me. You should start saving as early as possible in my opinion, cuz shit gets expensive down the line. I'd be bothered by that too. You just need to explain to her that your view is the way it is because you're looking and budgeting for the future. You want to make sure that you have a backup plan because you're on your own and don't have people you can turn to for financial trouble, and that eventually everyone should be that way because we can't rely on our parents for money for the rest of our lives.

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  • I think money is important to an extent but living by yourself is a very hard thing to do and a big change, it comes from experience

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    • 1mo

      Living by yourself you will learn a ton of things in the first two years, lots of mistakes that will need solutions if you want to keep going forward (budgeting, discipline, etc).

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    • 1mo

      I will, thanks :)

    • 1mo

      You're welcome 😊

  • It's important to not depend on others... therefore, money is important in that aspect! And living paycheck to paycheck is no ideal for anybody because it means you could possibly suddenly be left homeless!

    I'm not sure what you could say to her..
    maybe put he future in perspective for her... what does she want for her kids? To live needy all the time? Or to be Able to provide for them everything they need and still have left over to take them out and have fun? Because it's expensive!! And sad when so many kids to get to experience going to awesome places like theme parks, logo land lol and others alike, simply because the parents cannot afford it because they are barely getting by. Time flies!

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  • Money is very important to me and I actually get a lot of crap over how careful I am with mine. I really think financial decisions through so that I'm completely confident I'm making the right decision. Even my own parents encourage me to spend more, because I will forego buying things I really want that aren't even that expensive because I don't like to do a lot of spending if not absolutely necessary.
    I'm not sure how you could convince someone that money is important because I've always thought it was and have never been careless with mine. I guess you could try explaining what the consequences could be of bring irresponsible with it and how important money is for things. The main thing that's always scared me is the possibility of not being able to pay important bills or going broke.

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  • Is there anything that you don't do or cut down on that involves her, because it would have a negative effect on how much money you could make/spend?

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  • Money is important, but I can't control that I live paycheck to paycheck. A lot of the time, I am careless with my money and figure it out later on. I've seen financial troubles, my parents living paycheck to paycheck on a house that was way more than they could afford; ended up foreclosing and losing the house anyways. With money, there has to be moderation. It's important to save money, but you gotta learn to live a little, too.

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  • let her learn the hard way.

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  • I honestly would ask you on how to save more...

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  • No you're right. Money is super important to me as well. It's much more beneficial to put it in savings and let it grow than live paycheck to paycheck.

    Finical differences can break a relationship, I've seen it happen. I'd try to figure out if she even wants to change. Some people like living like that.

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  • Financial differences can break a relationship. You have to work out the differences.
    Relationship is supposed to be supportive.
    What is the goal for you both?
    They kind of life style you want?

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  • Yh of course I've been living on my own for a little over a year, been buying my own things since I was 8 when I was given a set amount of money each month.

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  • Money is really important lol. I wouldn't want to live paycheck to paycheck.

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What Guys Said 10

  • money is important to an extent but isn't the most important thing for me. so really it's all relative. i work hard and believe that financial stability means comfort in life. but i really make sure that my personal relationships and happiness come first

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    • 1mo

      What would you do if your relationships were tied to financial issues, resulting in stress and some anger?

      I don't "need" to be wealthy, but I sure do know that comfort doesn't lie in making 30k a year neither; especially if you want kids at some point.

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    • 1mo

      Now admittedly, I don't know your situation (maybe you live in LA, where 30k isn't reasonable), but I live just outside Detroit and gross about 38k a year in my own self-owned business. It is the best thing that ever happened to me, I live extremely comfortably despite the very high cost of living around here, and given the opportunity to work full-time to make more, I wouldn't take it. Comfort COULD lie in 30k a year -- a lot of it is attitude. Again, I don't know your circumstances, so you'd have to realistically assess your cost of living area, etc. I take couponing seriously, feed our entire household lavish meals (read: wild-caught seared salmon with lemon butter sauce and such) on $6 a day total, travel, go do fun things that have admission fees, plan to go to the Olympics in 2020, etc. I can say from experience as the stingiest person any of my friends have ever heard of that a lot of comfort can be achieved on a very low budget.

    • 1mo

      That being said, OP, your girlfriend is basically my SO. He never learned how to spend money responsibly. When I approached it with him, not as an argument, but as a learning experience, he jumped on board. When I said "Hey, you know that expensive computer you want? If you let me show you how to do X and Y with money, you can actually buy it!" He had no concept of saving, planning ahead, budgeting, etc. The more he saw how much further my dollars went (by being with me and me explaining/guiding on how I spend money), the more he realized that my way is more beneficial. Now he's A LOT better with money. Cooperate, don't argue. If you can't accomplish that, the relationship doesn't have a grounds for compromise, so it is likely to fail.

  • She does not place enough importance on money. People need to learn to live off of far less than they earn so they have savings for times of need.

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  • Sounds like you two are in different places man. I wouldn't work too hard trying to convince her of anything. She will learn on her own or she won't. Money isn't the most important thing to everyone. In fact, where is it written that we have to share the same opinion with our SO's on every topic? Variety in a relationship is important, but having said that, you should think about how critical to your relationship is this particular difference in perspective?

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  • You don't live together, so let her make mistakes on her own.. It's not your responsibility to take care of her financially. Just focus on your own thing.

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  • I think money is important, but when people are too obsessed with it, that's bad.
    I don't care for the money itself, but the things it buys. And sometimes, I can get those things without money (friends have helped me A LOT in life)
    All in all, have it, save it, spend it, track it, make more of it, but don't let it consume you.

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  • This one is really simple.

    You're mature, she's not. If you're living paycheck to paycheck, and running to mommy and daddy for more money, you need to grow up. End of story.

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  • If she is younger than you
    She won't understand as much.

    Try explaining to her, that money guarantees a more secure and better future for both of you

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  • So go date a gold digger. They're all over the place. You can take your pick...

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  • Money was very important to me up tell I got enough I could retire now I take a less strict aproch to it

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    • 1mo

      How did you do that by age 29?

    • 1mo

      @BigBallerSodaPop I make $180 000/ year plus I have 5 rental property I bought for nothing at a auction and fixed up when i was 23 and I'm renting out so that's 300 units at $1300/ Month so that's another 4.6 million a year plus a inherited a 1200 acer farm at 19 when my parents died plus I'm half owner of my brother buisness but what really kicked me over the limit was I invested a million dollars I borrow from the bank in a small waste management company at $1 a share and sold out at $23/ share

  • It's very important I never got ahead or anywhere in life until I got a job that made more of it

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    • 1mo

      What changed when you got that job?

      Did you have more success with women?

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    • 1mo

      @BigBallerSodaPop yeah I had more confidence and met someone and was able to save up for a down payment on a house that needed work that fixed myself while she was my motivation at the time

    • 1mo

      Yeah she just needs some guidance and a goal and a better job

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