How do I know if I'm making the right choice?

I love my boyfriend to death, we've been together for 3 years (he's 19, I'm 18). Lately I've been questioning our relationship because of his love for weed. I used to not care but then he got arrested because of it & it made me not like it. After being arrested he stopped smoking for two months, he still hasn't had a court date (it got moved to February) & he says it's okay to smoke again, but he literally smokes almost every day! He's away at college so he can hide it easily but he's honest about it. The thing is ever since he started smoking again everything has changed, he takes hours to answer my texts, he keeps sleeping in & missing classes & tests, & yet he still sees absolutely no problem with it. Not to mention he PROMISED me when he decided to start smoking again that it wouldn't be everyday, it wouldn't come before me, & it wouldn't interfere with school. But I think he's done all of those things. I hate to even question breaking up with him, but it's just not my lifestyle, I love him but I love the him that doesn't love pot. I know I can't change him so just what do I do? :(


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're boyfriend is addicted to weed. He's letting it effect his school, relationship and everyday life this isn't just recreational use it's an addiction. It sucks but I think you are only left with giving him the ultimatum you or weed because he has already proven he can't handle moderation. He said he wouldn't let it get out of hand and effect his school, relationship and run his life but that is exactly what happened.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • hi, wow this is quite a lot to be dealing with, here's some basics of experiences and things i have seen close hand. first off the fact he has been into weed at such a young age is a worry. there is scientific research that shows in young men from young teenage upto mid twenties use of this drug has significant effects on brain development and often can lead onto depression and mental health problems. the way you describe the effect it is having on his education and then he doesn't seem to care, he probably does but then he will have a smoke to calm his mind and guilt about it and then its a circle he is trapped in. you sound like youve tried to make your position clear and he has only really made a feeble attempt at best. some people and i can't say him but in my experience I've known have smoked since youth and still are in their forties. these people still have no committed work, live where they can and roam about and either have no relationship or have had troubled ones, you are so young you shouldn't be having to go through this at your age, as a soul who deserves love and care and desires a relationship you are entirely entitled to have this and if you need to move on from someone who can't give it to then move on freely without guilt. you will hurt but could that be more bearable than being hurt by him and his actions regarding smoke? xx

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What Guys Said 1

  • You gotta tell him you're not cool with it. I wouldn't go as far as "it's the weed or me" just yet. But you have to tell him that you're not cool with it. And if he won't adjust his behavior then it's better to break it off than to start resenting him and go all passive aggressive on his ass.

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What Girls Said 1

  • sit down with him and talk to him about it and tell him how u feel. maybe he will understand if u sit down with him and talk to him. I been there before it's hard but I know u can do i

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