Is he interested or not? What do I do?

So long story short i met this great guy while speed dating. I put down date but he put down friend, so we matched as friends. Anyway the next day, He text me saying it was nice meeting me and since then we’ve really hit it off and gone on 11 dates in about three and a half months. These dates have all lasted longer than four hours and have ranged from drinks, dinner, dessert, walks and nights spent at his house. We get on great and i feel like we just click. The problem here is that he hasn’t once tried to make a move. He’s opened doors for me, paid for meals (sometimes i pay because i feel bad but he always offers), pulled out my chair for me, called me cute and adorable and two dates ago i spent 10 hours at his house and all we ended up doing was spooning on his couch. I’ve tried to signal to him that I’m interested, i’ve touched his arm and leg multiple times, laugh at his jokes, make good eye contact and said i’ve found him physically attractive on multiple times to which he smiles shyly but moves the conversation on too something else. The last time i saw him was at his house to watch movies and it just felt off. We talked for a little bit but then he just sat there on his phone for 5 mins and wasn’t hisself. Since then i haven’t heard from him, and we always text constantly. Im feeling hurt and really confused. Help?

So my questions are this: Is he actually interest, if yes has he lost interest, does he only see me as a friend, what is he thinking and what do i do? Should i text him or leave it alone?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Ok... are you sure this guy isn't gay? I'm being very serious here. What you describe seems completely impossible for a guy your age unless he's somehow not attracted to you. And that brings up another issue... a guy your age is attracted to pretty much ANYTHING that is female and willing. Gay guys seem to make amazing friends to straight women and I'm wondering if that's what's really going on here.

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    • 26d

      He told me his ex actually thought he was gay towards the end of their relationship? He just laughed it off. he's called me cute and adorable but that's it. After almost 4 months he still hasn't added me on any social media and after our last date I haven't heard from him. It's been 8 days. Should I just leave it alone?

    • 26d

      I think I would demote him in your mind to friend-only and look elsewhere for a romantic interest. The women who responded to you below just aren't realistic -- there's no way that this guy is interested but wants to take things "slower". He either doesn't find you attractive or he's gay. The thing is, if he didn't find you attractive, he probably wouldn't go out with you so much. I think this guy is gay and there's not a problem with that because the end result is the same whether he's straight or gay and that's that he just sees you as a friend.

      As a total aside, I've read those stories about gay guys who get married and even have kids only to finally accept the truth about themselves. While it devastates their partner and the children, I always wonder how a woman ends up with a gay guy in the first place because it seems impossible to me that she didn't somehow know beforehand.

What Girls Said 2

  • He is very much interested in you. But your moving in way too fast for him, and he doesn't seem like he wants to engage in sexual activities with you in that way. That doesn't mean he isn't interested in you. I say a lot of people really need to stop with this nonsense like sex means instant attraction, or sex means love. It doesn't. Its fine and its normal. The problem was that you was overstepping his boundaries and he was 'politely' telling you to stop. If a guy I know did that to me, I would be very wary inviting him over again. That is why I don't agree in being alone with somebody at their house of the opposite sex, if you can't control your urges. And dates that lasted to 11 dates and over 4 hours, yet you don't think he's interested in you?

    Girl I'm just going to ask you this: Do you really like him? And if so. How much so? Because if he ever told you that he doesn't want to have sex yet or is waiting, it sounds like your willing to bounce that quick despite the good chemistry you two really have with each other. But I warn you. If you do leave him all because he doesn't want to do anything sexual. Your going to lose a good man.

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    • 28d

      Its not that i'm wanting him to jump my bones, i just want to know if he feels anything for me or if its just a friend thing? Apart from all the cute stuff he does he's never come out and said it and it's messing with my head?

    • 28d

      I would 100% wait, i just want to know if i'm sticking around for something or if he just likes the attention and thats all he wants from me? Does that make sense?

    • 28d

      @What_even_

      He is interested thats for sure. I can read him through what your writing and he does indeed like you. But he's also shy, probably never had much experience with dating. But he also feels uncomfortable when you do things like that. Its not the pace he needs in this relationship if its going to become official. But if you want to make it official then just tell him.

  • he seems interested, but if you're sleeping over & he's not making any moves that does raise red flags. I'd fall back & not text him. make him put more effort into seeing you. then he might make a move. if he never contacts you then you have your answer.

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