I'm 18, is talking to a 34 year old a bad thing?

I've been talking to this guy for a few months and we've became friends. I'm starting to catch feelings for him because we've hung out a lot and we even cuddle. I don't know if he feels the same way though.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are an adult now. You are free to experience life and make mistakes and you are old enough to determine if a mistake will have big or small consequences. Yes, there is a big difference in age between you two. What would be the consequences of going for it. Will it pay more than it will cost? If you are ready for it, go for it. It's your right. If you don't think it's a good idea, don't do it. Again, it's your right. What I know for sure is, don't seek people's opinion to make a decision. People suck...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • His life is probably at a much different place than yours. Will that work?

    He may be divorced and/or have children, debt or other complications that you aren't prepared to handle.

    You may not have an education or career path started to build financial security.

    He may not want to spend time with your friends and vice versa.

    You will undoubtedly have different viewpoints on what makes a relationship serious or not, expectations of a partner and the value of several parts of the relationship. Young people often tend to be more romantic and older people more pragmatic, for instance.

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    • 1mo

      I like this. At last, a realistic view on things.

    • 1mo

      He missed out on most of his 20s because he was in the navy. He has no kids or ex wife but he'd like to have a family which in time I want but not yet. I know it is a big age difference but right now he makes me happy and he's told me the same. I'm trying to figure out I'd he's actually interested in having a future with me but I'm not sure how to go about it.

    • 1mo

      You don't need to tip toe - he's an adult and you're starting adulthood. You need to have these conversations. Also, don't get too caught up in feelings and neglect your future. Life can throw a lot of curve balls at you. You can be in love and develop a plan for financial and emotional stability that doesn't revolve around him, too. Because even if he's the best guy on earth, he could get seriously ill or pass away. So, with your young age, don't rush into ONLY building a life around him, though he may push for that at first.

      The power dynamics of a relationship with s big age gap can be mismatched a bit. Remember yourself in the equation because life looks much shinier at 18 than 34.

What Guys Said 11

  • No talking to older people make you wiser

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    • 1mo

      Well how can I tell if he's interested in being more than friends?

    • 1mo

      you can't that the problem

    • 1mo

      I have plenty younger friends as a 20-year-old some of them are 12 and we get along a lot I am a Kidult

  • He probably wants to have sex with you because your youth attracts him.

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  • You're 18 and hot and he is horny af. That's all.

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  • Yeah. Just think when you yourself are 34, he will be 50

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  • I don't think it's bad

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  • No, I think it's fine... you're an adult, so is he...

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  • Nope, it's a very weird, stupid thing.

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  • I mean it really doesn't matter if he's fucking 100,000,000 years old if you like him and he feals the same then you go right ahead and be with him.

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  • It's fine. Ask him if he likes you for more than friends? Or tell him you want to be more than friends. He'll probably want to settle down pretty quickly though and maybe start a family. Are you ready for that already?

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  • Well, you're considered a legal adult so, no. If you were like 15 then it would be weird

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  • It feels wrong looking at the numbers. But you know, I'm curious to see what others will think of it.

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    • 1mo

      I'm mature for my age and he is a really sweet guy and very respectful.

    • 1mo

      I am 20 and i have 12-14 friends

What Girls Said 9

  • Just think about it. Why would a man talk to a female that is very young? Why can't he date a female is own age? When you get older you will look back and start to think about it more so. But you can't right now because your feelings and emotions are attached to this guy. The oldest you should date is mid 20s. That someone around the same age range as you. The guy may seem like an all around nice guy... in the beginning. But time will tell. Just be careful that he isn't using you for sex. Im sure he is excited to know he is dating someone young. But i doubt if what you and him have last. It never works out. Never.

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  • Well, since you haven't worked out that he's just using you by now yeah it is a bad thing.

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  • Well you are technically an adult but he has way more experience then you and maturity. Just be careful... i feel guys that go for much younger girls is almost predatory. I mean he is only after one thing. That's if he is clearly interested in a sexual relationship.

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  • You're too young for him.

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  • I think it's wrong , people should date people around their age.

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    • 1mo

      We aren't dating at the moment we're just friends because I'm not really sure if he's interested in being more.

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    • 1mo

      @JuicyBrain It's wrong, and creepy!

    • 1mo

      With such a strong case, I am convinced !

  • Not very

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  • If he really wanted a real relationship he would date someone at least in their 20's you are still in high School? I'm sure he likes hanging out with u but He sees you as just sex and feels like it's easier to date someone 18. It is weird and makes him seem creepy.

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  • The cuddling part is creepy, but just talking to an older person is never a bad thing.

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    • 1mo

      Creepy? He's very sweet to me and different than most guys I know because he's older and has experience. I'm not sure if he's wanting to be more than friends or not though.

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    • 1mo

      Alright, thank you very much!

    • 1mo

      You're welcome, good luck 😊!

  • Don't do this. You are both adults yeah, and it's your right to make a choice, but just don't do this.

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    • 1mo

      You have to decide. Don't let other people dictate how you live your life. Especially, when they don't care about you. You should be able to determine what is best.

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