He won't date me because I'm a liberal feminist, are political views really that important?

I really don't understand why this would turn him away so much. Things were going well for months, but then we started talking about our political views. Turns out, he hates liberals and feminists. Well actually, he said he hated all political parties, just those two more than the others. I was like, ok cool. Then we don't have to bring up politics. but after I told him what I was for, he just up and rejected me. And he said that it was for those reasons. Are different political views really that damaging to a relationship?




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What Guys Said 94

  • They can be - SJWs and other militant liberals can be unbearable company, and he might have been afraid of that happening so cut his losses and ran.

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  • What a good man. It's better not to risk it with liberal feminists, you never know, one day she may wake up angry and say you raped her or something like that, so it's better to stay away xD

    Chapeau for your ex.

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    • 1mo

      yeah a woman wanting equal treatment is pretty much the devil

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    • 28d

      @madhatters4 ya cause you were unecessarily sarcastic

    • 27d

      @bedroomdweller if being sarcastic means taking offense to you then so be it

  • You can't blame a guy for not wanting anything to do with a Feminist! That's like being upset a black person isn't comfortable dating a clan member.

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  • But aren't you a strong independent woman who doesn't need a man? bahaha

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    • 1mo

      @madhatters4 I guess i'll stop you there and say my irony in my OP was probably too subtle :P Don't worry i know what genuine feminism stands for.

      The asker kinda answered her own question so i thought i'd have some fun with her.

    • 1mo

      I don't need a man, particularly as someone who doesn't intend to have children.

      But I quite enjoy having one with whom I share my life.

  • Despite how most people seem to operate today, relationships are more than about mutual attraction - in order to have a successful relationship in the long term, you must have a high level of compatibility. Some differences can be lived with - and some are even complimentary - but other differences will always cause problems and tension, and political differences are often among them.

    Political views may be unimportant to some people - they might have a high tolerance for people of opposing political ideas, or they just might not care either way. But to others, political views are very important, and where they clash, a relationship probably wouldn't work.

    This is why finding a GOOD relationship isn't easy. You must find mutual attraction AND a high level of compatibility, and that takes work, and ACTIVELY "interviewing" your prospective partners to identify any "red flags" early on, before you invest too much into the relationship. It also requires that you've thought about your own views and are realistic about who you are and what you NEED (vs what you merely WANT) in a partner. It's very rare that you find a perfect match, so some compromising is usually necessary.

    Not everyone is willing to compromise, though, and they tend to remain single.

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  • well he was old enough to know ur bat shit crazy and not going to compromise in the future and he just left before u caused any issues. u are going to cause all knds of problems for someone other than one of ur own kind. so it was actually better this way. if u are more of a compremiser then u need to get use to saying ur more politically nuetral and go with the issues instead of saying what u did. especially right now. no one wants to hear those words especially TOGETHER! that is not a girlfriend def not a wife material person.

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    • 1mo

      Y'know, when you make that level of assumptions about a person based on two traits alone you sure look like a bigoted idiot who doesn't know what he's talking about.

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    • 28d

      Y'know, you're not doing yourself any favors by being this childish. It honestly just makes you and your side look stupid.

    • 28d

      @cipher42 i dont have a side. as i never said anything about me... lol. dem colors, just keep letting dem shine full glory. be proud. ;) and since im a nice person, im an ACTUAL open minded issues person. so im actually all over the place depending on what it is. i have no ties or anchors to anything. but keep it up ;) its cute. i still want to know how cute u are. would u be worth a quick poke at least? for fun. i mean i could see dealing with u for a short term being fun. if u had some looks to go with it. but u are priceless.

  • Political views are not always :just" political views. They can reflect deeper beliefs about gender roles, acceptance of traditional values and beliefs, etc. I think that is particularly true for liberal feminism. I doesn't matter whether it makes sense to you; if it was important to him and it is a deal breaker, then it wouldn't work for him. . . and that means it wouldn't work.

    As an analogy, imagine a smoker dating a non-smoker. To the smoker, it is not a big deal and they don't understand why the non-smoker would see that as a deal breaker.

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  • Honestly, you are both better off without each other. Political beliefs matter in a relationship more than you might think. Couples with contrasting beliefs can impact between future decision makings on things like marriage and having kids for example.

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  • That depends on the political views. I find that feminist and liberals are the most aggresive about their views (not that conservatives can't be mind you). I also personally believe that their is no way to be a feminist and not hate men, its literally part of the ideology, you have to believe that all men oppressed all women for no reason other then they where, to use the colloquial terminology "sexist dicks" which of course is not particularly enjoyable to be in a relationship with a woman that looks at you that way. I also find that liberals try to rationalize and justify very bad things. Obviously it depends on the degree of the belief structure but if you are hardcore in these things that could be one reason why he refuses to date you. It could be that he is tired of the bullshit that liberals and feminist state and he doesn't want to deal with it because no matter how you try to avoid talking about it it will come up, multiple times you can't avoid it. Or it could be that he simply can't handle a difference of opinion. I have friends that are liberal they are good people but they do occasionally say things that make me want to slap them, same goes for my brothers some are liberal and they are good people but occasionally they will say something and I will have to force myself not to go off on them right then and their (like, "all republicans are racist and sexist" except that bush was a republican and his secretary of state was a black woman, and his secretary of defense was a black man and really more then half of your family is conservative so what the fuck is wrong with you. Things like that). So being in a relationship with some one of a different view would require he bite his tonge and pretend to go along with what you say even while it goes against everything he believes in because if he does say his opinion it will become a huge fight every single time. While I don't think its required to share the same beliefs I do think their must be some similiarities in belief structures and currently that is not the case between conservatives and liberals or any moderate and liberals.(I probably have a similar belief structure to your ex, I don't like conservatives or liberals and feminist but quite frankly I feel that liberals and feminist have done far more damage currently then conservatives have. So make of this what you will).

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  • How much detail did you go into? It might depend on your specific views if you discussed them. I wouldn't have a problem dating a liberal feminist but if she was going around saying men are pigs or women should be paid more or given jobs even if they're not the most qualified candidate then it would be a dealbreaker. Or if she was one of those so-called liberals who are constantly trying to tell people what they can't do because its "racist" or "sexist" or "appropriation" that would be a huge deal breaker

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  • I think they are important. It says a lot about your personality, the way you view the world, men and women, children etc. He sounds similar to myself, and I know that on all of those things I most probably have different ideas and completely different values to any liberal feminist so we just wouldn't be compatible at all.

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  • Yes. If a woman is politically insane, I will break up with her. I can't risk her spreading defective genes to my potential child.

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  • Politics aren't, but dating a person with basic reasoning skills such as indicate at least a modicum of sentience are. Feminism is the best indicator of the opposite of this, as, like with what we are witnessing with the modern decline of the west, feminism, or some very similar iteration of it, is at the root of the fall of every major empire throughout history.

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    • 1mo

      "Feminists destroyed the Roman Empire."
      That's a nice title for an article somewhere in the manosphere.

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    • 29d

      @Noxifer626 but feminists sure did destroy Indian civilization of that I can tell you is absolute truth. India was legendary back in those times and admired by in a sheerly magnificent way.

    • 28d

      @Rilect I was using the Roman Empire as a mere example, but if you wish, please go ahead with your inane ramblings, as they are mildly amusing.

  • Political views don't just express, well, political views. You have to be a liberal feminist because you believe or act similar to that cause. With that being said, if he is familiar with the group's, where their beliefs, reactions, and so on align, and he doesn't agree with that group, how could it work?

    What if he was conservative, and believed in pro life. You, as a liberal, would typically believe in pro choice right? Now lets say you get pregnant... what happens now? It just wouldn't work, just because they are political views doesn't mean its only limited to politics. He simply saw what you believed in, aligned it to what others believed in on that group, attached that to your personality, and decided that it wouldn't work out well.

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  • i1.kym-cdn.com/.../feminist2.PNG

    Well. . . You know how it is these days. . . (Just sayin')

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  • I wouldn't either. Feminists are the worst.

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  • they can be. it doesn't have to but if people have extremely different views and those views conflict with the other person it can definitely damage a relationship

    and especially something like feminism can be a relationship killer, as it seems to really fire up some people on either side... but there are plenty of guys out there who will feel similarly to you or at least be ok with you holding the views you have

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    • 1mo

      it's unfortunate that so many people see feminism as one thing and seem unable to realize that just as with any and all movements there are tons of variances in people's beliefs.

      not every pro-lifer stands outside planned parenthood hurling insults at doctors
      not every vegetarian or vegan throws blood on people or screams meat is murder
      not every feminist hates men or believes women are superior

      not sure what kind of feminist you are but perhaps that's the impression your ex has

  • Yes. Liberalism is a mental disease that only the naive and those suffering from guilt for no reason get. Liberals are T. H. E. most unpleasant people to be around. I've been at concerts, picnics, other people's holiday parties, etc, where there were bro-Nazis in attendance, and they were *on average* FAR more pleasant to have around than liberals. They actually listened to ideas counter to their own, and would consider the merits and flaws of someone else's view. I have yet to meet a liberal who would do the same. (Granted, it's possible I was around some neo's that were exceptional, but if that's the case, I've met the exceptions several times, different people each time) Liberals make my skin crawl. I know that if they had their way, anyone who doesn't agree with them would be sent to prison camps or executed outright. So much of what they 'believe' is just a regurgitation of Soviet/Marxist policy, and the Followers of Marx are responsible for many times the number of people that died in Germany's camps. Che, the lefty college student hero, killed hundreds of thousands in Latin America and South America. He was the executioner for the Castro regime for a while. Murderous psychopath, and this is whole liberals idolize.

    And hatepigism... would you want to be around someone who blamed you for EVERY. BAD. THING. IN. THE. WORLD. EVER. and thought it was OK to humiliate, abuse, assault, or kill someone because 'it's only a female'? You wouldn't stick around someone like that for very long, would you?

    Most men will put up with A LOT of bullshit. More bullshit than they should. But they won't put up with hatepigs, and they shouldn't. We want a companion, not someone living with us that treats us as both a competitor AND 'the enemy'.

    And if you think for a fraction of a second that it's "just some zany 3rd wave hatepigs making all hatepigs look bad", you'd better do some more reading on what the 'mothers' of hatepigism have to say. They've advocated genocide against men, stripping us of rights (which they've gotten), slavery (which they didn't realize was already in place), you name it. Read some of what that horrible pig-Wookiee Andrea Dworkin has said.

    But if you're a feminist, you've already read it, you already know it, and you agree with it. If not, you wouldn't call yourself a feminist.

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  • Yes. Having opposing views when it comes to politics and/or religion are 2 of the biggest factors that result in short lived relationships.

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  • Considering the entire point of modern liberal feminism is to demonize men. You can't really blame him. It doesn't stand for equality, equality has already been achieved its about treating men like shit and trying to cause a problem out of made up things like the wage gap and rape culture. Thus why less than 20% of women are feminists but 90% believe in equality. Because those two things don't mean the same thing.

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  • Yes, depending on views, it can ansolutely make living together impossible.

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  • It is okay, I wouldn't date a feminist either.

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  • It's more than just rejecting you for your political views. It shows a lot about who you are as a person and how you view the world.

    Now I'm not saying being a liberal feminist is a bad thing... but if he doesn't align with those views then chances are you wouldn't get along in the long run.

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  • Your political views are the reflection of your intelligence, or the lack thereof.
    Not surprised he would do that honestly.

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  • I wouldn't date a radical feminist either.

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  • Liberal is alright I guess but a feminist with that.. nahhh.

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  • Well feminists in the West tend to be quite rabid.

    But it's probably for the best on your side. If I lived in the USA, I wouldn't want to date anyone who supports the republican ideals, the "right wing".

    infobeautiful4.s3.amazonaws.com/.../...ght_usa.png

    They lack any and all forms of humanism.

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  • Yeah. I wouldn't waste my time on a feminist either.

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  • What don't you understand? Look how annoying liberals/feminist have been in recent years, its pretty obvious why he wouldn't want to date you.

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  • I don't care what your opinion is, as long as I respect how you came to that opinion. If you believe something only because someone told you to, then I couldn't respect that or you.

    How ever, he may have his point of view because he was told to, and being near someone who disagrees is too hard.

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What Girls Said 33

  • I mean really, if the two of you don't agree on your political/personal beliefs then why would you want to date him? He sounds like he gets this.

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  • They could be, but honestly it shouldn't. Most people don't really care all that much about politics. But I will say that this election season may be the exception since we do have pretty controversial choices. What happened is that he put you in a box with all the crazies. You could be crazy or you may not be, I don't know. But he knew you better and decided to change his perception about you based on that box. It's unfair but people do this all the time with other things (religion, race, etc). If he wasn't mature enough to respectfully disagree with your views then he wasn't worth it.

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    • 1mo

      it wasn't this election, its been this regime. since then those words have become negative. she choose to adopt them of her own free will, knowing what they ment and knowing a vast majority of the population right now is sick of both words. it has almost nothing to do with the election at all. as she gets older maybe she will truly learn what those words mean and why people hate them so much instead of just being fancy cute little activist titles.

  • i dont blame him

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  • I can't really blame him, i wouldn't date a liberal feminist guy. Third wave Feminism is cancer.

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    • 1mo

      you do realize there is a massive difference between a liberal or feminist and the "third wave feminist" concept

  • For some people who believe in politics, sadly it is that important. Why it becomes so important stems from faith, religion and or belief system. At least you two found out that you weren't compatible with each other. Neither of you were wrong, so don't ever think that. I wouldn't agree with none of these movements for whatever reason. The point being is that if your in a disagreement, eventually in this society and nation we live in, your force to pick sides. He believes one way, while you believe in another. If you two were to get married. Either way he would be the head over you as your husband because he is the head of the household and you need to follow him as his wife. You may not agree with such things. So he was right to end it early. Dating is about process and elimination. You didn't make the cut with that. All you can do is find somebody else who shares yours views.

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  • If it is important to him, it is good that he brought it up and made it clear,

    It can be damaging for some.

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  • I'd say it has more to do with what he expects a woman to do for him. Which I guess in his case, is cook and clean for him. A liberal, independent woman is too strong to now to his will and become his maid like that, so that's why he knows he won't get his way with you and backs off. Good riddance, I say. Saves you a miserable oppressed life in the future

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  • Yes, yes they are.

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  • Political views absolutely are that important. Your political views are fueled by your worldview, and a severe disconnect between the two of you in politics indicates a lot of underlying disagreements about other issues. So you can't just avoid talking about it, because those other issues will crop up from time to time. Make sense?

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  • It would never work...

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  • Political beliefs matter more in a relationship than you would think because usually the party or candidate you associate with holds some or most your own values. So if he's against a lot of the things you believe in and stand for and won't support you in it, what's the point of being with him? I mean, he could've explained that to you instead of up and dumping you, though.

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    • 1mo

      He didn't dump me or lead me on. As soon as we talked about politics, he rejected me.

    • 1mo

      Whatever, his reasoning wasn't wrong.

  • It's not a deal breaker but I wouldn't date someone with polar opposite views. My guy and I are both more on the Republican side but our views still differ a little (especially about this past election) but that's okay. So a little difference is fine, drastic difference might present issues later on only because politics can't really be avoided

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  • Yeah it's a pretty big deal.

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  • yes they are. if i was a guy, i would not date you either for those exact reasons.

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  • If you were really a feminist you wouldn't be making this question. Feminists understand that your partner should respect you and your political beliefs. I am a liberal and I somehow get how you could "not bring politics up" for this matter but how could you even be with someone who is not a feminist and doesn't see you as equal?

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  • Yes they are. I wouldn't date you either. I couldn't date a feminist.

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  • I would not date a homophobic, because I'm bi sexual

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  • It depends on the two people in the relationship.

    When it comes to political differences, some people wouldn't be bothered by it, some people just can't handle it.

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  • Not really, my stats teacher is full liberal and her hubby is full conservative and they do just fine, just don't talk about politics much.

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  • If he doesn't like you for being left-wing, then it's safe to guess that he's right-wing.
    Why would YOU want to date someone who helped put Trump in power?

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    • 28d

      He never votes and he hates the right wing too. But he hates liberals and feminists more for some reason.

    • 28d

      Sounds like he just hates everyone.

      He hates feminists b/c he's intimidated by them. You deserve better than that.

  • Well liberal feminists are the worst

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  • He sounds like a douche. Be thankful you dodged the bullet.

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    • 1mo

      Actually he dodged a bullet and just like your lot bang on about he is entitled to his preferences. Typical feminazi.

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    • 1mo

      Didn't develop much past 12 did you. If you can't produce a valid argument, best to keep quiet.

    • 1mo

      @bobbyxx

      You seem fun...

  • He's not even worth it if he thinks women are less then men.

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  • Aren't the liberal feminists the ones who think white women should get everything first before any other race? Yikes even I don't like liberal feminism

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  • look I'm not ever dating no Trump voting redneck.

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  • From the way he handled that, he sounds like a huge baby. You're luckier with your options open than being tied down to him.

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  • Yes, it can be damaging. I always remember "irreconcilable differences" when I read stuff like this.

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  • Yes they are.
    Understanding the rights and roles for women and what you expect in terms of gender roles. Views of race, the elderly, are very important and can't be looked past. It's best you find out earlier and separate

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  • i wouldn't date a liberal

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  • Don't blame em. That's a combination bound to fall apart.

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