Girl liked me but I messed up... how do I recover?

So I've worked with this girl for over a year.

Long story short, she thought I was very attractive and there was a lot of sexual tension building up between us, so much so, she began acting very shy and nervous around me. She would blush and stutter a lot unable to function around me. I invited her to hangout several times, but she was always busy (probably too shy/nervous). Regardless, she enjoyed my company/attention, always wanting to work on projects together at work, etc.

Tired of her acting this way and wanting her to feel more comfortable, I mistakenly texted her wondering if everything was alright, pointing out how she's been acting different around me lately. I asked if I had hurt her in any way, apologizing if that was the case. I told her I really cared for her.

A day passed with no response.

For whatever reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to text her again.

I mentioned how I didn't take anything personally, and how I realized she'd been acting that way because her anxiety was probably high (she's mentioned anxiety before). I knew this wasn't the case, it was because she had a crush on me (her friend told me). I expressed how I'm here if she needed anything, that I wanted to help her and be there for her, and that it was difficult for me to watch her silently struggle at work.

A few days pass and still no response. I immediately knew I messed up and regretted it SO much.

The next time I worked with her, she acted as if nothing ever happened. I could tell there was a difference. The sexual tension seemed to have vanished. She was no longer shy/nervous around me. I apologized for sending her those texts and how it was none of my business. She said "its ok".

It's been a week since then, and she has been more quiet around me at work and doesn't seem to want my company/attention anymore. She no longer holds strong eye contact either. This may change in the weeks to come, but I'm wondering what you guys think I should do?

How can I get her interested again?

26d Should I tell her I was just trying to be a good friend to throw her off and maybe work on getting her interested later on?

Should I tell her I sent her those texts hoping to make her feel more comfortable around me because I could tell I made her nervous?

Should I tell her in person how I feel?

Should I tell her I sent those texts because I knew she liked me and I wanted to make her feel more comfortable?



What Girls Said 2

  • Ask her bluntly if she received your text, and if she says no, quickly sum up what you sent. If she says yes, say "oh good! I thought I had upset you" and she will probably say you haven't. Then, ask her to join you for a lunch sometime :) it's simple and hanging out with you will probably eliminate a lot of her anxiety.

    • 26d

      I'm sure she received my texts, since when I apologized for sending her all those texts, she said "it's ok". If she didn't receive them she probably would have asked "what texts" or something :/

  • Give up on her and move, she never liked you in the first place, a friend was stupid or lying.


What Guys Said 2

  • Accept the reality of the situation at work and move on and act professional in the work place to smooth it over

    • 26d

      I know that would be best, but I don't want to give up on her. It's just a part time job, I may only be there another 1-2 years.

      If trying to recover and have a chance with her is my goal, what would you suggest?

      I'll be working with her tomorrow, so I'll update the situation then.

    • 26d

      Then don't give up make a choice and accept the outcome of any actions

  • It is time that you moved on. Whatever you thought she felt for you, it is not there. With how things are today, it is not a good idea to draw something like this with someone you work with. What you do could be considered harassment. People have been fired for less.