Do average looking girls have to choose between looks and personalities?

why are so many cute guys assholes? -.- im obviously only talking from my own experiences, and not the male population as a whole, but its so frustrating

I dont really date that much, but i do get approached by guys and 99% of them are guys im not necessarly that attracted to, or i am attracted to them and they have no intentions of going on dates. Its just frustrating... The only reason im not really swearing off dating is because of my male roomies and my male friend. They are all nice, funny , repspectful and treat me like a normal human being.

I guess its my own fault for even having expections towards guys and dating. In my case it seems like i have to chose between looks and personality. Im not saying that guys who dont want to date me dont have good personalities or that the less attractive guys are ugly, but just the way many of them approach me is creepy and very juvenile.


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What Guys Said 17

  • 90% of the guys that approach any woman are assholes. Not that 90% of men are, but assholes approach and hit on everyone. Not trying to hurt your feelings, but being hit on by an asshole does not make you special it just means you are a female.

    Part of it depends on your definition of cute. If you are into guys with man buns or guys who have the overly manicured beard, but can't change a tire, then you have doomed yourself to mostly jerks.

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  • just like every other person out there you want the top 20% of guys to approach you but unless you have something really great to offer it won't happen, i am sorry but hot guys go for hot girls and approach less attractive girls for sex, i know it sounds shitty, shit i can't even find a decent and pretty girls despite being regarded but all the girls i know as very good looking , shit happens i guess.

    but you're not alone, lots of girls have the same mentality as you , they want the best guys to approach them which is natural and nothing wrong with that but beware its going to harm you if the guy doesn't view you as physically appealing as you think you are, some average girls are actually pretty cute and if they have a good personality and are not sluts that means they're a keeper.

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  • The issue isn't that every guy in the world is allocated into this false pretense group of (Hot/Rude) or (Ugly/Creepy). The issue is that you don't effectively communicate and surround yourself with the right people. To blame all the guys in the world for your shortcomings instead of recognizing that the issue might be caused by yourself is literally within the embodiment of delusion. It has nothing to do with the lack of quality men, and everything to do with you.

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  • Ok so what about us ugly guys? Do we have to chose between a life of actively seeking a girl to build a relationship with, or should we focus our attention towards other aspects in our lives? What fits us the best? Does the body shape our minds and intentions?

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  • If you are average looking and dont have an awesome personality then you should settle with an average looking guy, or maybe you should try to be less superficial, i for one consider myself kind of attractive with a great sense o humor so i go for girls who are kind of hot with great sense of humor.

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  • How about you approach the guys you interested in?

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    • 25d

      That's exactly what I was thinking. If she's not interested in the guys that approach her, then she should approach the guys that she's interested in.

  • Why should average guys have to choose? Same principle.

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  • "Do average looking girls have to choose between looks and personalities?
    Average girls choose between what they can get.

    "Why are so many cute guys assholes?"
    We don't have to be nice. People let us get away with things cause we're cute.

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  • Hotter the girl the more issues she has. Not a gender neutral thing at all...

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  • Aww id go on a date with you. I don't care much for looks. Personality is a big thing. i hate girls that cheat and manipulate.

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  • Oh yawn. Where's the question?

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  • Lol😂 Do average looking guys have to choose between prostitutes or loneliness.

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  • Not all cute guys are arseholes, i've been told i'm cute and i most definatley am not an arsehole

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  • Some people can do both.

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  • No, both can be developed to the better.

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  • "The only reason im not really swearing off dating is because of my male roomies and my male friend. They are all nice, funny , repspectful and treat me like a normal human being."

    They probably aren't attracted to you, that's why.

    As for guys in general. If you're an average looking girl with an average personality, you're not going to attract the perfect 10 of your dreams. You probably won't even get a 7-8 realistically. You need to be something exceptional to attract something exceptional.

    and the "Why are so many cute guys assholes" thing. You wanna know a secret? Most of them aren't, they just are to you because they don't care about you. Women often times think when a guy isn't nice to them that he's an asshole, because most men are nice to women. If a guy doesn't go out of his way for you, he's simply not interested in you, he isn't an asshole.

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  • So, why do men have to do the same?

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    • 25d

      Do the same what?

    • 25d

      Average guys have to pick between looks and personality

What Girls Said 10

  • Who said anything about looking average? You need to realize that all of this is subjective. Who's attractive to you may not be attractive to somebody else. You may be more attractive than somebody else, and somebody may be more attractive than you. That is just how life works. There really is no rules about looks and personality except the rules we make for ourselves regarding who we like and the person we want to mate with. Looks really shouldn't be all that important on the list, but the bottom of that list. Personality is good, but character is key. How a person treats other people is a reflection of how they could possibly treat you. You have to have balance of everything. From a persons views, faith, religion [if any], wither or not they believe in God, mature or immature, familial background, and especially their views about family, love, sex and marriage. All of that must come first and looks, as I said before must come last.

    However no everybody will share your views and way of thinking. The point is superficial relationships with shallow people never last.

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  • That's a very shallow question of you. I've never dated up or down based on looks. Quite the opposite. I used to dress in modest clothing that complimented my form maybe but was thick and unrevealing on first and second dates.

    I have 'nice tits' that are on the larger wider and hard to hide in certain clothing. It's the first things guys notice when I'm in a nonbusiness dress so I wear layers or a blazer. Usuallly new dating is on weekdays so this works.

    As for my guy I did used to ask what part of town they lived in but only because I work a lot and have a dog. They sometimes took this as a money question at that point I was done with them as that indicates they are insecure.

    But you're saying you're average looking and should you have to chose? Well no, you shouldn't, but I'm concerned about who you are considering as possible dates.

    Longterm for better matches being the prettiest doesn't matter for most and compatibility between partners matters more. But how do you want your boyfriend to look?

    Spend less time thinking on that and more time thinking about who you want him to be because looks change quickly. I've gained 6 lbs in 4 months volunteering for Hillary and I look 10 years older because my face is bloated. Looks change. But personality matters.

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  • If you have average looks and a terrible personality, you are not going to find a hot guy with a great personality. Now, if you have average looks, but your personality makes up for it, there's no reason you shouldn't be able to find a decent guy. This may be more of a problem with your personality than your looks.

    Most men like to go after the prettiest girl they can get, we all know this. So if you're expecting to get with a guy who is more attractive than you with a great personality, you're probably going to be let down. We all hear about dweebs getting supermodels, but it usually doesn't work the other way around because hot guys know they can find hot girls. So if you're average, they won't waste their time with you because they know they can get prettier than you.

    You might also come off as unapproachable. My best friend complains that guys never hit on her, but she sits at the club with her nose in her phone the entire time. Most guys have a healthy fear of rejection, and won't even try approaching a girl who doesn't have positive body language or looks unapproachable. I told her to put her phone down and use more positive body language one night and a guy she'd been crushing on for a while came up and danced with her all night. She is on the prettier side of average, but guys don't think she's interested because she doesn't show that she is.

    If you feel like you're not receiving initiation from the caliber of men you want, then you might not be the caliber of woman they're looking for. The best thing is to improve yourself first, make yourself more desirable.

    Most pretty people end up with pretty people, average people end up with other average people, and the ugly are left to fend for themselves until they realize they're not going to get more than they are worth. The only thing that changes this is personality. Even hot girls with bad personalities are not going to get hot guys with good personalities. They have to settle for average or ugly guys because people get sick of them sooner or later.

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  • I have the same problem and I feel bad about it but I can't help what I'm attracted to. I don't want to force myself to be attracted to someone becsuse that doesn't work. But I don't want to date any one that approaches me because I know they aren't shit.

    My solution for me is to just leave it be and not date anyone. I don't want to end up unhappy in either situation.

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  • I think average girls have a larger option

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  • it's good to be modest but don't let it hold you back

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  • No I always go for both.

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  • Good looking, average... we all have to choose and it sucks

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  • I think this is a you problem. There are guys that are hot as hell with awesome personalities. You attract shit guys and the way you talk it makes sense. There's nothing wrong with having expectations. They work out a lot. But being shallow and average isn't helping you

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  • Average doesn't mean unattractive. 🤔

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