Girlfriend lets a guy flirt with her&she also accepted gifts from him. Do I have a right to be upset and also what are your opinions on the situation?

well my girlfriend and I (both sophomores) have been dating for 3 months now I can honestly say I love her and vice versa. So there's a guy at our school who she's friends with that has flirted with her constantly since beginning of our relationship. I had previously voiced my displeasure in him flirting with her even though she doesn't flirt back. She told me that she realizes he flirts but didn't feel the need to confront him about it because she didn't welcome it and didn't flirt back. Go to now and just the other day while we were on a date we got to the topic of the guybecause we were talking about her closest friends and she was telling me how she calls him and tells him everything and (well this wasn't my finest moment and later apologized profusely about it) since I've never liked him I then went on to tell her about how he's a jerk and rude to my friends and flirts with every girl he lays eyes on and is a creep, which this actually is all true & for the rest of the date I was kinda rude and didn't talk to her much. I apologized profusely for me being so childish and mean and taking out my anger at him on her. But then we started to discuss him more &we talked about his constant flirting more, so I then asked again if she could ask him to stop and had a 3 hour long argument about it, she eventually agreed and talked to him about it and he owned up to it and said hed stop the flirting but then the very next day he got her coffee, which has never happened, I also saw a text of him asking what jacket she wanted him to get her and her accepting it. And after seeing that I did something I regret and went through her texts and saw no discussion of the flirting, no calls either. I don't know if she deleted the texts. And I need to make it clear I trust her 100% but I don't trust HIM and I just don't like the fact shed let him flirt. And if I tried to talk to the guy itd make everything worse because he says he's just being friendly and I don't believe that.

Updates:
25d Ok she is not cheating on me i am 100% sure because ik people who have said she confided in them that she doesn't want to have to get rid of her friend by confronting telling him to stop and will tell them how much she loves me and that if I did decide to break up with her over this she would cut the guy out of her life because I mean 100x more to her but I don't want to make it come down to that because I am fine with him as a friend
25d And now after he's said he won't flirt, he still is flirting and many people have commented on it and I've seen it myself but now my girlfriend dismisses it as being friendly and anything he does as being friendly

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What Girls Said 2

  • Yes, you do! Why are you dating a girl who lets other guys flirt with her and accepts gifts from them? Yet you trust her? No. You can't trust her like this. Because she knows but is deliberately doing it. That is wrong and it breaks your trust. If she keeps allowing this to happen, there isn't going to be a relationship to salvage. And its very possible that she is cheating on you with him, and deleted the messages so that you won't find out.

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    • 25d

      Ok she is not cheating on me I didn't really have enough space to type it all like 100% sure because ik people who have said she confided in them that she doesn't want to have to get rid of her friend by confronting telling him to stop and will tell them how much she loves me and that if I did decide to break up with her over this she would cut the guy out of her life because I mean 100x more to her but I don't want to make it come down to that because I am fine with him as a friend just not the way it is now

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    • 25d

      Update:

      Flirting is not friendly. Its deliberate. If she can't respect you, then it this relationship cannot exist. Its just that simple. So unless that guy has no problem flirting with every chick he sees. Somebody is going God forbid punch his lights out.

    • 24d

      Yeah man, as much as you like her girlfriends that flirt with other guys are not the girlfriends you want... just trust me on this one.

  • Don't tell your girlfriend what she can and cannot do she has to come to the decision of ignoring the guy completely by herself and that depends on you , if you don't like that the guy brings her presents your concern should be why she is accepting them if your girlfriend is the type of person who views gifts and tributes as a form of love then shower her with more gifts since it's the language she responds to also if the guy is so flirtatious and your girlfriend entertains it then most probably she likes how it makes her feel and she isn't getting those sort of compliments from you so compliment her more and flirt with her more just cause you got her doesn't mean you should stop wooing her. Lastly don't make your relationship about arguing and fighting over the guy if and when she chooses to open up to you about him listen intensively speak to her without trying to influence her decision about him vice versa from this you will be pushing her towards the guy try and be more mysterious and fun let her miss you but still give her as much of your time she asks 😉

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    • 25d

      But the thing is I have asked her about things like that I specifically asked her if she just likes the attention and if she did is it because you feel like I dont try to woo you enough like you said or pay enough attention to you and she said no to the fact that she likes the attention and then on the part about if I don't pay attention to her she said "No that's not it at all! You give me all the attention I could ever possibly need. I don't know how to tell him to stop flirting without ruining our friendship, because if I say anything about it he's just going to say something about how he doesn't flirt he's just being nice." and then about your first point of the buying more gifts than he does that's not really my personality to do that and buy jackets or clothes etc for her my, I do my gifts in the way of constantly taking her to do things and spending money to do these things and I feel like if I did try to do it your way she'd get mad because I'm just trying to outdo the guy

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    • 22d

      I feel like that question lingers what is it that she gets out of that friendship is he her best friend confidant? Either way I feel you should be crystal clear of how you feel about him flirting with her and her condoning of communication is very important she should be fully aware of how her actions affect you before she does them

    • 22d

      I've been in your girlfriends situation before and I said the same thing but I was in denial the problem wasn't as insignificant as I admitted it to be. You are on the right track to be bothered , trust your feelings.

What Guys Said 1

  • Well yeah! But your girlfriend is being honest with you and that's good. Well that guy he might have a problem i guess to be giving her gifts, try talking to him and confirm the Bastard

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