Where can I find a real Dom?

[Anonymous]

I am currently in the market for a boyfriend. The only problem seems to be that I am submissive and crave a man who is dominant... a real Dom who will care for me and own me the way I want to be owned. I can't seem to find one anywhere. I've tried dating sites like fetlife and all that with no luck at all. Suggestions?

[WesTheGuru]

The internet is the easiest place to lie about these things.

If you want to find a dom then you need to be able to identify one outside of the bedroom first. A true dom is a dom in all aspects of life, not just when you're having sex. Also you need to be a true sub outside of the bedroom.

And there are plenty of guys that would be considered doms but just don't claim the BDSM lifestyle. Don't just ask someone if they're a dom, you need to be able to discern it for yourself.

[Asker]

That makes sense. by the way I don't go on first dates asking if he's a Dom hahaha... awkward.

[WesTheGuru]

Lol I'd hope you don't. How do you go about finding out whether they are or aren't one?

[Asker]

Well generally speaking after a few dates you can usually tell. I like to talk about sex before having it. I don't outright say "I'm a sub" but I mention things that I'm into like spanking and bondage... if they seem into it then generally the whole "D/s" thing will come up on its own...

[Anonymous]

What do you mean by "who will care for me and own me the way I want to be owned"? Sounds to me like you're just some delusional, immature girl who's throwing tantrums and stomping her feet at how hard it is to find her Christian Grey. And what do you even look like anyway? Are you worth caring for, worth owning? Or are you more trouble and more hassle than you're worth?

[Asker]

Seriously? You don't even know the first thing about me. I've been in this lifestyle for 4 years now. I've had 2 serious relationships with Doms. I used those words because they were the easiest to use. I'm not going to sit here and list out everything I want because I'm not looking for a partner on this website. What I look like is irrelevant to the question.

[Anonymous]

I went to a local sex/swingers party with a friend and met one there. It was purely D/S with no intercourse, I like impact play and he loved shibari so we both got what we needed.

If you can befriend someone in the lifestyle it may be easier to find a Dom to suit your needs

[Opinion Owner]

Do you want a relationship or a contract? If you're only after a contract then many D/S people network for those that are like minded. If you go down this route try to find a Dom you trust to oversee the negotiation until you know them a little better.
A relationship will be harder as it's not just the kink that needs to align but everything else

[Scrambledagain]

real Doms are sometimes not on fetlife. I'm a Dom and half of the "Doms" I meet in the scene are not worthy of the title.

The best thing to do is like the other girl said. Get out there. I introduced my ex submissive to a lot of people and when I let her go, she had a river of men to choose from. She chose a dumbass, but anyway 👍🏼

[G-Daz]

Is it really that hard? i'm that way but i'm not that rare

[JuGs35]

yes it is hard find a guy like that

[G-Daz]

i could only be that way lol

[mits777]

Why didn't you had luck on dating sites, no one wrote you? Usually most guys are dominant it won't be a problem finding one.

[akadatank44]

Is that a real problem? I'd think that would be easy to find.

[rahul6023]

My be on tinder... just give the info you are looking for and be anonymous

[Inkeddom78]

Fetlife is a good site

[little_bird1]

Nowhere. Men are pussies.

[Babybabe]

try fetlife

[Intraluminal]

There's tons on fetlife.

[thecalmerface]

bdsm is a mental illness, but cool.

[Anonymous]

Love comes to you... when you least expect it

[ThatBritishLad]

In da bungalow?

[SuicidalTeen]

Vin Diesel?

[lumberman9]

craiglist

[bcromartie]

Try... GaG!

[Anonymous]

Right here