Girls, do you find self-deprecating humor to be a turn-off?

I was talking to a female friend recently about dating, and I was complaining about having a hard time getting girls to go out with me. I can talk to them, but I get rejected most of the time I ask girls out. Her take was pretty interesting. She told me that I'm attractive physically, but that girls aren't attracted to how I act. Specifically, girls lose attraction to me because I put myself down too much, that I make jokes at my own expense so much hat girls feel sorry for me. In her words, self-deprecating humor "kills lady boners quicker than bad BO."

I know I do use self-deprecating humor a lot, but I guess I didn't realize the effect it had on girls. Was my friend right?


Most Helpful Girl

  • it can be funny sometimes but it can make me sad that he thinks lowly of himself. Like he says he has shrek hands but I love his hands and it sorta feels like he's trying to convince me he's not attractive, and girls might start to believe it themselves after a while.

    • Does it makes you lose attraction to a guy?

    • no i'm still with him and find him attractive but if he did it constantly i'd probably ask him why he thinks so lowly of himself and say it makes me sad because i think he's hot

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What Girls Said 3

  • YES, that's a major turn-off for me. Girls like strong, confident men. My dream guy is big and intensely strong, both mentally and physically. Intensely strong men don't put themselves down all the time, ESPECIALLY when they're trying to attract mates. Girls crave that strength, not defeated, self-conscious boys who aren't sure of themselves. That's why our interest just wilts when a guy puts himself down in front of us. I die a little inside when a guy I like does this.

    • You said it!

    • Show All
    • Not necessarily stronger but it makes a guy seem a lot more confident and cute, which is attractive (:

    • @lawstudent931 Okay, thanks.

  • Huge turn off. Hate it. The only quality I strongly dislike about my current crush, so he better stop that haha.

  • It's super unattractive for anyone to do and eventually they become naggy and annoying.

    • Do you think guys who use self-deprecating humor are losers?