My parents want to meet my dates?

Im 24, and I live with my parents.( I have a job/car and contribute to bills and groceries. ) my parents insist I tell them where I am going and they want to meet all the people I spend time with. If its someone i just met, I don't really want my parents to meet them because I don't really know if I like the person. I don't want to be in a situation in which I have to defend person i don't know from my parents snide comments? I let them meet last person I made friends with and my dad made a comment "you like them a little old, don't you?" and he is only 4 years older and it wasn't a date. I just want to get to know someone, and if I like them, then subject them to my parents scrutiny. But my parents are saying I'm being secretive now and wondering if I'm sleeping around? I'm not.

Am I wrong for having stopped disclosing my whereabouts and letting them meet my friends and dates?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you are absolutely right. It is none of their business. They might have wanted to keep you safe but they crossed the line. Now they should know nothing. They have no special right to that information. Maybe it's time to move out?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well yes, they are still your parents and its their house and rules. If you can't tolerate that anymore, then you will have to move out. Overall if you become official with that person, I believe that you should introduce your dates to your parents. Even if they don't like the person, it is still your choice to continue dating them our not. You all need to stand up or yourself and remind them that even though they are your parents, you are still a young adult who needs to grow up and have her own space. You need balance, but don't retaliate back either.

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    • The parents who act totalitarian with the "Their house, their rules" mentra end up alone wondering why their kids never visit...

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    • But I didn't have that because my parents had different conflicting parenting styles. I was raised by reading the Bible on my own when my late mother didn't. And by learning how to act with my parents as a child, I grew to become a loving, understanding and respectable person now. I know the rules and follow them. I didn't have to ask for privileges, it was given to me because I abide by the rules without question. If I had concerns I would tell them. I may grew up with domestic issues because of my dad's immaturity and psychological problems from when he was growing up, I still love and honored him. And that love changed how he handled things in life.

    • Its not about life experince. Because experience isn't always the best teacher. And people rely on experince now more than ever today because of lack of structure at home and straying away from biblical and or religious teachings. By that, I mean the same principles many today don't know is in the Bible but use it in secular terms. God also tells fathers to not provoke their children to anger or they will become discouraged. So you see, parents have to equally respect a child as a child is to respect the parent. There needs to be balence. There are obedient children, rebellious children and difficult children.

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What Guys Said 2

  • you should tell your parents you need some space and if you get into a relationship you'll bring them to the house so your parents can meet them.

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  • Nope no wrong at all

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What Girls Said 2

  • man, I'm 33 & my mom still is up in my business. she wanted to look at my car insurance the other day. and when I asked her to babysit, she said "not unless you bring your new boyfriend inside so I can meet him". get used to it

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  • In my culture it's expected to stay with parents until we marry and then move out, but fortunately my parents don't care who I hang out with because they trust me a lot. Yours sound like they just care excessively and are over protective. Now to someone like me, your situation is understandable. But to your friend or crush or date, they are going to be weirded the hell out, meeting your fam already the first time they're over or getting to know you, it can come off as a little intrusive. Especially with your dad's comment for example.

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    • If I were you, I would either conceal your friends from them until your friends know you enough and are comfy to meet everyone, or do what I used to, which is straight up off the bat tell my friends my parents are very strict Asians haha. They laugh and I just joke about it, so when the "parent check" used to happen, it wouldn't be awkward. That being said, my parents didn't ever make blunt comments, so I would just keep them away from the parents for a while if I had to choose for you.

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