Why am I always attracted to the "bad boy" type?

Every single relationship I've been in the male is typically a "trouble maker", has no job, has criminal record, past or current drug user, can be emotionally abusive, etc. I don't know if I feel they are "damaged" and I want to change their life for the better, or what the reason is. I look at a "nice, well mannered, never does wrong/illegal things" and I can't see relationship material or any physical attraction. Most young girls want the "bad boy" but im in my mid-20s and still crave this type of man. My boyfriend of 5yrs is 29 and still this way. For the record I do not get I'm trouble, graduated 3.5GPA, same job for 5yrs, etc. Any other female still fall for the same type of man? Just curious.


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What Guys Said 5

  • Young women have a tendency to go for the "bad boy", because a bad boy exudes masculinity and power and leadership. Probably a bit of excitement, as well.

    Rationally, a woman might realize that she needs to get with a responsible man. But come on. Responsible men are boring. And they probably treat you with a lot of respect, which you probably see as a sense of weakness. But instinctually, they prefer this type.

    Our instincts are 20,000 years old. They don't realize that we have a population of 7 billion and that we no longer live in a profoundly dangerous world.

    I also have a theory that women who endured some kind of physical or mental threat when they were children have some genetic switch turned on that tells them "This is a dangerous world. You require protection from a powerful man." And so they are more likely to pursue a strong bad boy type.

    Young women also have a tendency to want to "fix" damaged men, yes. I suppose it might be something to do with their nurturing instincts. But, I think it's more likely that they see a man who has traits they want--masculinity, strength, leadership--and they want to make him a *perfect* mate by changing him into a specific model of what they prefer. Or both. They think "he would be perfect, if only he wasn't ------." Maybe not consciously or maybe.

    Mid-20s is still fairly young. I don't think women *really* get over that until the 30s. The frontal lobe doesn't fully develop until 26. At that point, people base their decisions less on emotional impulse and more on rationality.

    Yeah, instinct kinda sucks, huh?

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  • That's a question most of us guys have been asking women since forever.

    I guess you are still in the "have fun" mode of your life. So you gravitate towards excitement. You have tunnel vision for certain attributes, while completely ignoring all the red flag ones.

    Once you finally transition into "start a family" mode you will probably start looking at all those "nice, well mannered, never does anything wrong" guys and start thinking, "Hey... this shit might be a bit boring, but it will be stable."

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  • Because it's in your nature.

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  • because good guys don't put out?

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  • mid 20s and still acting like a child'? bruh you are fucking 20+ ... u should know more

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What Girls Said 2

  • I may have low standards for sex, but I don't go for those guys. All you need is some common sense.

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  • Would you date a guy who screams and pulls his hair and wears diapers at night?

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