How long would you wait for someone you love?

My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly two years. Unfortunately, things haven't always been great -- but we've stuck together anyways.

The other night we had a talk about where we stand in the relationship. I asked him if he still feels the same way about me as he did last year -- within two months or so of dating he told me he was in love with me, and that he totally saw us getting married one day -- he says that he does see us long term, and eventually one day we will live together, but he doesn't know when he would be ready for all of that. He says he's content with the way things are going right now -- despite the bad times.

How long would you wait for someone you are in love with? I don't nessecarily see the rush, into getting married and such -- I guess I just don't want to feel like I'm wasting my time, but I'm also not ready to just give up on the relationship either.


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What Guys Said 16

  • You are young and in a committed relationship, there really isn't a rush.

    However if you are 25 and he is about the same age, what are for? Two years is enough time to know if you want to live together. What is going to happen in the next 6 months/year/2 year that will make that easier or better.

    If you feel like you want the relationship to go somewhere, there is nothing wrong with pushing for that.

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    • 21d

      He wants to wait until he is absolutely sure of everything. Which I do understand. I think I'd rather wait till we were at least engaged before living together. But at the same time, you'd think after two years one would know if they want to spend their life with you. He's lived with a partner before, and it was all around a bad time for him. They ended up breaking up within a few months.

    • 21d

      Just for your own sanity, I would talk to him about what he isn't sure about yet.

  • Rush into it and destroy it then... cuz thats what is gonna happen. If he hasn't ask "the question" it means he's not ready. so you hush up and wait or balls up and YOU ask the question.
    dunno why on earth when a girl is not ready the guy is SUPPOSED to wait, but when a guy is not ready, he has to "man up" and do something cuz the girl said so...
    What? you think girls are the only ones that have time to waste? ask the question youself or wait for however long it takes.
    (i know it sounds rude but im just being direct and raw, i don't sugarcoat especially not in situations where double standards are involved)

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    • 21d

      Well I don't appear to be wasting his time. I'm not in a rush to get married or even move in together -- but I don't want to be in the same position as we are in 5 years. I want progression and I'm at a point where I can't decide if this is worth the wait.

    • 21d

      You know the funny thing though... you're just gonna have to wait. If you won't ask it... your only option is to wait. We are all afraid of investing in a potential failure... dont you think he's thinking about it as well... he probably thinks You may not pan out... so he's waiting for more proof first.
      And if you are still in the same position after 5 years... well... at least you will know then that its not gonna happen..
      you said almost 2 years... i always say that for maximum effect... give it at least a minimum of 3 years. also according to your relationship... you do seem like you are in a rush...
      What do you want? status updates? these things take time.. all you can do is wait. (or do something about it)

  • If things are going well, why try to rush them? He's been honest with you and said he isn't ready. You need to decide if you are willing to wait until he is or not.

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  • That's up to you the individual. There is no set time. Gene Simmons took what 18 years to marry his gf? I personally wouldn't have waited that long but to each their own

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  • When I meet a woman with whom mutual attraction and feelings occur, I only give 30 days for exclusivity to be mutually pledged between me & her. Once we're mutually exclusive, we're on the good ol' 90-day rule before we're nude or make love. In my last relationship, we were making love after only TWO WEEKS. Our entire relationship duration was 109 days, during which we NEVER became MUTUALLY exclusive. I'm NOT having that with the next woman!

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  • enjoy the moment. don't create pressure. and don't expect.

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  • 29.7 years

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  • I guess I'd wait a few weeks only.

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  • while life.

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  • A lifetime.

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  • I got married last year and had to wait until she was the age of consent for Marriage so I wouldn't get jailed for having pre martial sex with a minor. For some reason martial sex is ok with a minor.

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  • I don't bother to wait at all. When it's time to split and leave them behind, then that's it either they go their way or I go my way, either way we have to go our separate ways at some point. And I do not I expect them to be around me forever.

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  • I don't want marriage ever again, only a LTR. As long as I got to be with the person on a fairly regular basis, I could wait a couple years before moving in together.

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  • Marriage is really technically unnecessary if you've been in a relationship, and are still happy. The only reason for marriage now and days is, that it's cheaper, legally

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  • If theyre in love with me too, as long as it takes

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  • It depends on how much of a connection we have. Having said that, I made the mistake of waiting for someone who ended up playing me and using me as a rebound. We had a ton of things in common and our dates went well up until the very last one and her biggest problem was acting hot and cold consistently. It was an absolute mindfuck.

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What Girls Said 5

  • The more you force yourself to "unlove" someone or move on, the harder it is. All you have to do is distract yourself and the LESS you do, the EASIER it gets.
    The LESS you do, the more you'll start to realize that you have control and he'll be crawling to you.
    Another point I'll make, find someone else because you might end up falling in love with that person.

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    • 21d

      Find someone else to fall in love with while still dating my boyfriend?

    • 21d

      No Hun, I mean, if you start seeing someone new after breaking up with your boyfriend, you might end up falling in love with the new guy

  • If he's not ready for you now he won't ever be. at least I think so, so if you want to take the change, wait- but don't wait, still go on in your life, meet new people. Dont be afraid of having feelings for someone else and if he comes back and you still want to be with him thats okay too, but don't use the other person, have genuine feelings for them too.

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  • I'd wait for a good few years. I'm 22 and know my boyfriend is the guy I want to settle with and he feels the same about me but we both have other priorities right now (work, studies) and to save up for weddings is expensive. We both struggle a lot financially and to keep our heads above the water is everything. I'd definitely hope to be engaged after 2 or 3 years from now :) I don't think I could wait longer than that to be honest.

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    • 24d

      3 years are probably my limit too.

    • 24d

      Yeah especially considering how you've been with him for nearly 2 years. I've been with my guy only a bit under a year now. I'd definitely want more then after 2 years.

  • When you're both ready. Doesn't matter how long or short.

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  • If you've been together nearly 2 years, and still need to (recently) talk about where you stand, doesn't that say something to you? Don't waste your time.

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