See my problem is I was raised by educated people... But not like... Super on their high horse about it or anything. In any case, I went to boarding school, went to college and the I'm not that different from my white friends. Thing is I'm not that different from my black friends eaither... I'm middle of the road. But my black friends have Swagger and my white friends are white. Both of those are big plusses when it comes to dating! I have sooo many friends but with women it's almost like they see a datable white guy... Only minus 10 points for being black... And then I don't get the additional swagger points. I kind of feel like an average white guy with a skin deformity or the opposite... Which is what I really am a black guy with a swag deformity.
Why don't girls like black guys who are just regular ass people? I mean black girls too by the way. They aren't into this shit either. They would only take my personality if they got to say they were dating a white guy. If a black guy has everything a white guy has except for the skin color but also losses the dancing and phyical ability... They're just seen as lame. I'm tall and I used to be jacked. When I was it was kind of worse because everyone thought I was like a pro athlete and expected the swagger again. Thing is... I always figured if I just worked on myself I'd attract women... And I kinda do, I attract people... But it's like I really have to align myself up with attracting women and that's not my focus but... Dann like I'd think I should be about as sucessful with them as my friends are.
Seriously... Is there even a way to be an appealing regular black guy?
What Girls Said 11
I only date black guys. it's not about your swag, maybe you're just a nut-ass dude. if you're surrounding yourself with white people & hanging out at white spots then you're a nut. no one wants no black guy that acts white. you can be educated & still have a black man personality2
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I think it's all about the look in your case. If you dress differently then everybody else then your good. I'm not saying nerdy with glasses, high pants you get where I'm going... But all the multiple heavy chains just stands out. Where 1 necklace (doesn't have to be long), and for pants wear them where u feel comfortable, you don't have to wear them under your butt! Your gonna get more girls because you'll be less intimidating =P it works for me and my girls0
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If you are interested in people who minus 10 points for you being black, then you are interested in the wrong people...1
See dude whether you are white or black personality matters both ways... Yeah white people have advantages and I've always wanted to be white too (I'm brown btw) but I learned to deal with it... it's pure luck dude.. And I think if u have looks u don't need complexion0
Firstly, stop focusing on race. That is your first problem. Second, the way one presents themselves (Not just appearance) is a big factor.0
Don't worry about fitting in or anything like that. Try to meet as many people as you can and build connections with women who are interesting but may be a little different than what you're always going for.0
Not one single black guy I know has problems getting girls, from lawyers down to drug dealers, they get girls (of all races) because they come across a certain way and people like them.
It's not because you're black, there's something else. I don't know what, because you sound normal from the very small bit I read about you, so maybe it's just the way you hold yourself or if you're already going in thinking they'll reject you.
It could be confidence though
"I always figured if I just worked on myself I'd attract women"
Meaning you started this whole thing already thinking you weren't up to par and needed to be a better person.0
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What Guys Said 8
As a black guy who grew up in a diverse community. You just gotta own that shit. Girls do not care. It's only if you have a problem with it that it becomes a problem. "Normal" is relative. The thing is when most people say act normal. They mean act white. Truly acting normal is just being who you are and letting yourself be ok with it.
If you're just a cool guy girls will like you regardless. Even if they have hangups over where you come from. I remember a black girl I met up with in Texas who asked me what ethnicity my ex was. When I said White she immediately said, "I knew it". Well 3 hours later that didn't stop her from pulling me onto the dance floor in the cantina. Doing shots with me. Feeling me up and asking me if I liked her, even tho she was with someone else. By the time we got back to the cars the guy she was with said maybe I should be the one to take her home, because she's more likely to fuck me. And he was pissed over it. That guy was far more fitting to the ghetto black stereotype. Had gang relations. Sells weed. In and out of prison. None of that mattered.1
So you are basing yourself self esteem off of your friends ability to "get" women?
Ever considered that this ^^^ brilliant show of insecurity may be the reason why?
Women are like hounds man, you want em to come to you, you gotta have something they want. Now according to you, that is skin color and "Swag"...
Ok, we can't do anything about the skin color... but we can do something about the swag... thing is... everybody has their own... you just gotta find yours.
I have the same back ground as you too... boarding school and all... except, i don't compare myself. and girls see this... and they seem to like it.0
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you sound similar to me. was raised in private education by upper middle class parents who pushed the importance of education
yes i think you can definitely be appealing. in a lot of ways you may be especially appealing as you contrast the idea of the stereotypical black guy1
Personally I think you're an idiot and your game is just weak lol I've never even heard of "minus 10" for being black; I've only heard of my skin as a plus in the dating world.
You're an idiot because you compare yourself to your friends. You obviously lack self-confidence or you wouldn't be asking this question. Personally when I walk up and talk to her girl I like I don't care whether or not she's into black guys, in fact I don't even put the question into consideration. My only question is "is she into me?" Because that's all that really matters.
Using the word "swagger" makes you sound like an idiot. Please just stop, self-reflect, and grow the fuck up0
It's not you... ide definitely be your friend too. Not a damn thing wrong with you. In Hawaii , you'd be lucky quite quickly. Even though. , I know you will definitely hook up soon , just be patient.0
S sorry bro brown skin subconscious racism accept it1
Now you understand the problem white guys are having now.0
There's always going to be people who will stereotype you because you're a black man and black men have harsh stereotypes. You just have to not worry about it and continue living life the way you are now. The more you worry about it the lower your self esteem will be.0
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