Is He Asking Me Out?

Hi, Since 25, I’ve suffered from chronic migraine & I finally found an osteopath who reduced my symptoms. However, we also hit it off & I can't tell if he was interested in me. He kept complimenting me on my clothes, style, telling me “you always look very glamourous and chic”, manifesting jealousy when I’d mention a guy I wasn’t even dating, fishing for info about my weekends & social life, telling me he’d thought of me, commenting on my hair ribbons, noticing when I’d changed to a clip etc. On the other hand, he’s pushed me away - avoiding going down in the lift with me etc. There have been times where it seemed like he was indirectly asking me out, so I’m wondering how you guys would interpret the following?

1. Via email: "Yes I really love [that cinema], it's such a nice place. I need to go back again soon - let me know if something comes up that you'd like to see!"

He also said many times that there's a restaurant he'd love to go to but that none of his friends were willing to travel so far (10 min walk!) and that he'd been "putting out feelers" to see if anyone wanted to go.

2. As I plateaued, he supported me in leaving his treatment but checked up on me sometimes. I tried to get over him, so the last time, I decided not to click on his FB message. I stayed strong for 2.5 months, but while dating & entering a relationship with another guy, I realised I couldn’t get over this osteopath. I left a small birthday gift at his surgery. Via FB message he said he knew instantly that it was from me bc he recognised my handwriting & “the scent”. I hopped in and left it on his desk while he was in a treatment room. He said “Shame I missed seeing you”. I replied making it clear I’d also like to see him. I’d asked him what he meant by my scent, and he messaged:

“[the room] had the [my name] scent, your perfume? Don’t worry it’s a nice scent anyways. Would have been nice to see you! Pop in and see me another time or we can grab a coffee or something.”

Updates:
23d I replied with a film & he replied, “Oh yeah I heard about that doco actually, it sounds so interesting. I didn't know they were going to show it. No doubt I'll go and see it, I'm due a visit.” We went separately! I had 12 missd calls fr 'Unknwn Nbr'. This made me so doubtful of his recent coffee suggestn that I delayed replying 3 days, accidentally sending a dismissive 'thumbs up' on the 1st day. I apologised (w lame excuse) & said "Cofee (or smthg) sounds gd". He didn't reply! Is he hurt?

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What Guys Said 2

  • Yes he is asking you out

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    • 23d

      Thanks, so do you think his subsequent non-reply to my "Coffee (or smthg) sounds gd", effectively cutting off 1:1 contact between us, is due to hurt at my response?

    • 23d

      He's a really polite guy who hates hurting people - could his coffee suggestion have emanated from being touched that I obviously wanted to reinitiate contact? Do you think he might have felt obligated to ask me bc of my bday gift to him? I'd obviously not forgotten him despite leaving his treatment months before - do you think it was 'Auld Lang Syne' since we'd been so close as osteo & patient, & he didn't want to hurt me too much?

    • 23d

      The only way to know is to call or drop by and ask him out directly

  • Yeah, it's pretty obvious, he just needs the ok from you and won't directly ask you I guess

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    • 23d

      Could be hurt since he is getting so many mixed signals from you, maybe just call him directly and be straight with him on what you want

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    • 23d

      I agree it'd be too much drama if this were a random guy I'd just met. But my feelings deepened for him over the year I was treated by him, esp as I was so touched by what seemed like his deep concern for me. When I plateaued under his treatment, he supported me in researching other options saying "I'm determined to get you better, even if it means sending you to someone else". He gave up his day off for me to attend a treatment session with another physio & told me to keep updating him, that he'd be happy to help "in any way I can - even if it's on my days off" and that he'd change work around if my appointments coincided with his work. This is why I can't let go of the thing.

    • 23d

      Yeah I see that, I just hope his feelings are still there for you , you just need a way of letting him know you're serious and not going to disappoint him, I suppose you could write a letter, just never know for sure if he got it like you can with text or FB

What Girls Said 1

  • Just message him and ask him to grab coffee. I wouldn't say he's asking you out, but it seems like he has interest.

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    • 23d

      Thanks! I'm terrified of messaging him at this point as I'm almost certain he won't reply at all (see above - I already said "Coffee (or smthg) sounds gd" but he didn't reply to that). I feel we've become trapped in a vicious cycle of delayed replies or non-replies. He's a really polite guy who hates hurting people - could his coffee suggestion have emanated from being touched that I obviously wanted to reinitiate contact? Do you think he might have felt obligated to ask me bc of my bday gift to him? I'd obviously not forgotten him despite leaving his treatment months before - do you think it was 'Auld Lang Syne' since we'd been so close as osteo & patient, & he didn't want to hurt me too much?

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