Is it a sign that you are an insecure person if you feel people are settling for you when they show interest?

No matter what woman shows interest in me I always assume she is settling for me and it makes me feel anxious and it has caused me to put off getting into a serious relationships. I tend to attract women who have had colorful pasts or who are tired of dating "jerks" and I am someone who has never had a colorful past or dated jerks, I am just a quiet, reserved man that keeps himself to himself. I find myself quite boring and rather mediocre, so it baffles me as to why any woman likes me.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Yes, that's insecurity speaking. Mature, decent people look for a relationship that is going to be healthy and stable going forward. They may have had crazy pasts or they may have always been stable, drama free people. Either way, wanting someone who is mature, drama free, and normal is not bad or "settling".

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    • 24d

      Now that I have identified that I have a problem. How do I fix it? Have you ever had to deal with this before?

    • 24d

      I have actually. I've always had trouble believing people like me, from bfs to friends or coworkers. Some techniques from Cognitive Behavior Therapy have helped me. It's basically just recognizing when you are having negative thoughts and actively reassuring yourself that those thoughts are irrational and incorrect. If a coworker is slightly curt with me, I might panic and think they dislike me. To deal with that I can tell myself that they're probably just having a bad and it has nothing to do with me. Stuff like that. I'm not saying I don't have insecurities anymore, but that doing this has helped improve them a bit and will continue to do so.

  • Yes it does. If you'll settle for a person who's just settling for you

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What Guys Said 1

  • You are everything you think you are. Others will see you the way you see yourself. If you don't like who you are - change.

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    • 24d

      I like who I am, I think I have some amazing qualities but it does make me suspicious when a woman changes her preferences in men after getting her fingers burned. It always makes me ask the question "would she have been interested in me five years ago?"

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