He said, "I don't think it's going to work out." I blew up and now there's silence. Thoughts?

Things were going great. During the week leading up to him saying this, we were making plans for hour weekend together, and then making plans for a camping trip next month, and he was sending good morning texts, etc. Things didn't seem wrong at all.

And then the other morning, we were having small talk via text and he asked me how much sleep I had, and so I responded with a question. I asked him when he went to sleep last night. He responded with a meme "Noah fence. None taken." And then when I responded with another question, wondering if maybe he just couldn't sleep last night cause he was tired, I felt like things got awkward.

I tried to sidestep the whole thing by asking him if there was anurging he wanted to do this weekend. He responded later with, "idk if I want to go" and then "I don't see it working out"

What the hell happened? Was it something I asked? I thought maybe it was just because he's lazy and doesn't want to travel to see me, but now I'm wondering if it's something I said or did.

I blew up at him, told him thanks for not wasting my time, and that I thought we had something. He read it but didn't respond.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • To be straight with you, it almost certainly had nothing to do with anything you said or did. I don't blame you for being upset, but just know that this is the nature of young relationships you're at an age where you have nearly unlimited dating options so relationships start and end rather quickly. He may come back around, but usually this happens because the other person wants to look for something better. This isn't a reflection on you, but is merely a product of your age and the period of like that you and your boyfriend are in.

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    • 21d

      Thank you for your advice. I really appreciated it.

      Turns out, it was nothing that I said or did, but it was because of my weight. He said that he's not as sexually attracted to me as he'd want to be because of my weight.

      First, weight has always been a problem for me, but in the last two years I've dropped 45+ pounds. I am now a size 8 (could get into a 6 or 7), and I wear a S to M top, but I'm only 5 ft 3 with a wider, curvier frame. In the beginning of all this before we met in person, I told him I was working on myself. He said he liked thicker girls, so I thought things would be great. He seemed cool about me working out, etc., and said that we were both working on improving ourselves. When we met, he brought up my weight as being a problem. I said I was working on myself, so I wanted to work on myself while we were together.

      Today, I asked him what I did wrong, and he said that he felt it would take me years to lose more weight at the rate I was going.

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    • 20d

      You know, I think you should be proud of yourself. Losing 45 pounds is no joke and even if you have more to go, for a guy to judge you like that... I don't know. I know it probably doesn't help much to hear this now the things I say here probably come off as glib, but you're so much better off without him. Just keep working on yourself and doing things for you and forget about this guy who I promise you was not worthy of your time or energy.

    • 20d

      Thank you! He didn't know the person that I was before, so he doesn't understand where I started and where I am now. To him, it's just black and white. For my height, I just need to lose 20 more pounds before I'm in the average range for my height. It's a small feat, but something that I can overcome. It's just frustrating how I told him all this before the date and he still turned around and told me he had a problem with it. I was hoping he'd be the more supportive type, and help me work on improving myself. He's just this skinny, tall Asian with a fast metabolism who eats fast food all the time. Just because someone is skinny doesn't mean they are healthy. I'd rather be healthy with a few extra pounds than be skinny skinny.

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 1

  • How old are you guys? Because the way you respond to each other made me assume that you're way too young. Also, the guy sounds a bit like a moron to me. No offence.

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