"Rubber band" effect with guys, does this really happen?

I've heard of this rubber band effect where guys taking a step back and disconnecting communication or contact with a girl to regain their manhood or their freedom and then bounce back into it. Does this really happen? From a girl's point of view it seems like he's ghosting but what about from a guy's point of view?


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What Guys Said 16

  • I not like this but I tend to date girls who are. I think yes for sure it's a thing but it's only a thing with certain type of people: they are the type with intimacy problems. They will rubber band back as the phrase goes but you have to let them come back to you or they will continue to elongate out. It's a shitty pun but I'm tryin g to make a point. So yes it's a thing but not gender soecific

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  • Think of a relationship like an emotional marathon. Girls have grown up their entire lives being told it is ok to feel, most guy experienced the opposite. Naturally this training means that girls can run the emotional marathon and guys need to take a breath out of their inhaler and rest a minute. The effect is real. Let him go and sit on a bench awhile. He’ll come back to you, or he won’t. But trying to force him to talk to you is a sure fire way to get him to decide he never wants to run a marathon with you ever again because fuck blisters. People need privacy as much as they need intimacy. It’s not really having anything to do with manhood at all. Another thing that guys do is test the waters for cling wrap. That is, by stepping back and taking a minute to look they can see how attached you are to them. There is nothing wrong with not being as attached as they are, but most guys have experienced some serious blowups with girls who are way more attached than they are. Relax, take a breath. You may realize that running the marathon in segments has advantages for you too.

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  • i think from a mans standpoint it´s not about "freedom" or "manhood". it´s that she´s getting on your nerves and you get annoyed to the point of considering a break up but you kind of don´t want to throw away the time you invested so you take a break but then you realize you´re missing her and go back xD

    honsetly i think you should just break up instead of doing this "taking a break" nonsense.

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  • Not for me. Maybe a weaker man? I dunno. I can't imagine how being with a woman detracts from your masculinity.

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  • Sounds like bullshit to me

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  • This happens from both boys and girls sometimes. It's a sign of immaturity and usually they mature past it as time goes.

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  • Sometimes it's a game and sometimes not. I do it when I feel like I've texted or contacted her too often. If I feel like her interest is lowering, I'll back off and see if she contacts me. She has to put in some effort, it's not a one way street.

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  • I have literally never heard that until now

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  • Rubber band? He goes away and comes back?

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  • Never heard of that. Perhaps it works. Perhaps it does not.

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  • nah. I never done this.

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  • Yes, this does happen and from my experiences, its not a good idea for any guys wanting to try it out. Once maybe is okay, but more than that and you better have a real good explanation if you want to talk to that girl again.

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  • I do this sometime this what most pick up gurus teach men but I think that girls do it too.

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  • Yeah it works

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  • Not about manhood and freedom... more about strength and stability.
    If I were to do that, its because I've suffered too much emotional pain and becone too weak to handle myself properly. Id taje a break only to calm down, setlle my. emotions and center myself again.

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    • 24d

      And how long does that take?

    • 24d

      @kvjing depends on the extent of tge damage I guess. Some. scars heal fsst, some dont...

  • I've never heard of it. It sounds like the guy may have been dating multiple people and liked one of them. Decided to get serious and cut the other girls off.

    When things didn't work out, the guy will naturally hit up girls that were interested in dating before and see if they are still wanting to try things out or hook up

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What Girls Said 6

  • Oh yeah, this happens. There is this guy who always comes back. Every damn time he has gotten better at making my head spin and promising things that make me believe he really has gotten to a point where freedom is just a part of life. but then the ghosting starts and he might tell me he wants to be free!
    Last time I promised myself it would really be the last time I let him do this to myself. But I have kinda gotten used to this and I already wait for him to return crying after me... OH crap!
    I will give you one advice: never let a guy do this twice to you! Never begin this circle, it does no good for anyone in the long run.

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  • women do this too, but in either case its just poor behavior. the reason does not justify the behavior. if a person cares and respects you they will tell you they need space. not disappear. disappearing is disappearing and its the behavior of a coward or a brat and should not be encouraged by coming up with pseudo psychological revelations. you're just teaching people to continue to have no accountability for poor behavior.

    people can have space of they want space but its up to you to decide what kind of person you wan to be with. if you blame disrespectful behavior on a persons sex, you will always expect it and never find better.

    I've done what you write of for the reasons you write of. and i apologized heavy for it later on. bc its wrong. our emotions can not be an excuse to treat others badly. as adults we have to consider ourselves and others. an adult who yes 'ghosts' you is not mature and not ready for relationship.

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  • never heard of that effect tbh

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  • From a girl's point of view, you're talking to other girls

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  • Never heard of but does sound like ghosting which is a childish game. Men aren't regaining anything besides stupidity.

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  • I've never had that

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