I'm genuinely a Nice stand up individual (i try to be) But the shit doesn't work just a doormat...:/?


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What Girls Said 2

  • When people open with I'm a nice guy, I like you or other things they feel they must lead with because their actions don't follow I tend not to believe them.

    It usually affirms the opposite is true. This rule has never failed me.

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    • 24d

      I feel that opinion 100% action speak louder then words no doubt. I usually don't open with that it just more my approach to women our that if i'm interested in you i'm interested in you and what your about for a reason. I guess the more appropriate term is i hone in on the things the that interest the women and act upon them not for gain because i like that way it makes them feel good

    • 24d

      Oh that's not a great approach. I've seen this many times and women don't like it because it isn't sincere. Be who you are and like what you like and know your own self worth.

      I do not like the it when a guy starts hanging around and wanting to talk to me about my top interests he knows whether or not he actually shares that interest. There is no formula to getting someone to like you. I know I've certainly met many men who are amazing and I wished I could will myself into liking.

      But it is more organic than that. You two really do have to have some kind of natural chemistry.

      That said if you are nervous and overthinking, not as happy with yourself as you could be that stands in the way of any real chemistry you may have.

      I speak from my own experience as someone with social anxiety. Once I got out of my own head o had successful relationships.

    • 24d

      right on... i thought with this new person i was interested in it was different... i liked what she was talking about and had an organic similar perception not spot on but similar view organic view

  • So if you're a doormat, and honestly I think some people naturally are, just try to stop. It's one thing treating people nicely when they're good to you, it's another just treating everybody nicely. It's one thing doing favours for people, it's another being that guy they just call when they need shit and not other times.
    There's loads of things.

    Just don't let people take advantage of you, that's half of it. Some people don't even realise they're doing it, they just take what you'll do for them for granted.

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    • 24d

      that's true i'm just a little fustrated with my love life... i like to help when i can... but i understand my ex broke up with me. part of the problem made myself to available and was overly thoughtful and it wasn't recipricated

    • 24d

      Yea, often I see really nice people with selfish people who don't do the same back.
      Just watch small things a girl does in future. For example, when you drop something and she's closer does she automatically go to pick it up (even if she stops herself when she sees you move to get it)
      Does she worry and appreciate about what you spend on her and not just expect it because "that's what boyfriends do"
      Does she make effort on your bday, or does she just get you a generic gift and call it a day.

      Just all the small things, especially all the small things you do, watch from very early on when first dating a girl to see if she does. When 2 nice people like that get together, it's so lovely to see, everybody loves them as a couple haha. Don't worry, you'll find somebody.

      Being available and being thoughtful are good traits that a good woman would appreciate and even seek out. Who wants a man who isn't accountable or available, and is not thoughtful? Sorry but she's not very smart if not.

What Guys Said 1

  • No because a nice stand up individual is too false. It's all about being a dick but never quite enough that it turns them off.

    Think of fishing, if you reel in too fast you'll snap your line, if you reel in too slow it'll finish the bait and lose interest. You need to give and take line at the right moments to tire it out before landing it in the net.

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