WHY DO MEN HATE ME?

So, this will be a long one. Ever since I was in high school I never got much attention from guys. My two or three best freinds got hit on, got asked ot the school dances (in fact when my best friend got a promposal last year, as happy as i was for her, i felt so hurt inside because i wanted us to share the night together, but never the less, that isn't the point. I don't think I'm ugly but I always wondred if guys didn't like me because im curvier and have a more "mature looking" body than the average girl (I'm not fat, but my weight has always been an insecurity and I have started to feel lonely and have turned to comfort eating) Never the less, I would say im voluptous (and I can share pictures if you think this is affecting it) --and I get most o you are going to say it's myy self confidence-which I totally understand, but my best freind would hate on herself all day and guys still flocked to her. I don;t know if its because im more exotic looking, or if its because of my weight ot if its because im shy or if its because im ugly or what--but now that im in university and guys still dont seem to notice i can't help but wonder what's wrong with me and I cry about this all the time. It's hard for me to let go of those feelings of wanting to be diserable. I am trying to get my weight back ont rack but its been rough especially manging school and work and recently losing a lot of my freinds (as they would lash out at me). I also live alone in an apartment which doesn't help the loneliness. I know this is just a stupid website but I just need to some form of reassurance. The last guy I liked played me and this was over 3 years ago, and it still hurts. xoxo?


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What Guys Said 18

  • A lot of the time it's just luck of the draw, don't take any of it personally. Maybe you just haven't been lucky enough to have guys in your life that are attracted to you and your friends have been and because you're comparing your situation to their's it's making you feel worse.

    No one will ever be liked by anyone, that's a simple fact. I've had girls who have been crazy about me and I've had girls who have flat out wanted nothing to do with me, but I don't care about them. I aim to put myself out there for those that are interested. You've been unlucky and haven't found those that are interested, but they are out there, you've just got to find them.

    In the mean time, look at yourself and make sure you're the person you want to be or you're taking positive actions in order to become the person you want to be. It will increase your confidence so much and I'm talking about true inner confidence, confidence where you can get shut down by everyone and still come home, look in the mirror and be completely content with who you are as a person.

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  • If you think you're being out of love at 17 and feeling unhappy, you should hear my story! I didn't get my first kiss with a girl until I was like 29, so no you're not late at all in that respect in the dating game. It happens to everyone. You just haven't found the right person, that's all. And to be a little objective it's a life partner you're looking for... not just someone who finds you attractive.

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    • 20d

      That said you're treating it a little too serious which is why you feel the way you do (depressed). Don't. Learn to get out of it, as it could improve your chances of finding someone. More importantly try to do things that you like or love, as they will certainly help anchor your focus/joys and help you find a partner. You could join adult classes for subjects you might like such as cookery, sewing, painting, pottery, wine-tasting etc. Some of my friends have done this and found partners along the way. Also doing voluntary work for charities or tours as they are a good source of getting in touch with all kinds of people.

  • 👀 stop beating yourself up. You have to know you look good for yourself get your confidence back. Most guys love curves on a woman sometimes they just scared to talk or you may seem unapproachable. Please let it go it was 3 years ago. Forgive and move on promise you better days are coming for you hang in there.

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  • It's really difficult to tell for sure, but by the way you are talking you give me the impression that you are not available enough for guys to approach. You say stuff like "I feel that no guy like me" but how many have really said that. How about this question. If YOU approached 10 guys how many will turn you down?
    I am going to guess not "no guys".
    Even if girls do not approach guys they usually offer an opening. A guy will never approach a girl who offers no opening or nothing at all.

    If you did something as little as saying hi and then smiling then you have started what could be a date. Maybe he won't have the guts to say something or maybe he will in a few days.

    Regardless don't just sit there. Say something polite.

    Once a girl told me I had a "nice shirt". I had a plain white shirt. I laughed and she said "WELL WHATEVER" then the next time I saw her I said "Not be gawking at my shoelaces!"
    and that's how that relationship started. :)

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  • I often feel the same way. Perhaps it's because you just haven't met the right guy yet. Remember that there are 7 billion people in the world. If you don't find the right person now, you will. That being said, you could be direct. Go ask the guy out. I know it goes against the tradition, but a lot of guys think they have no chance so they don't pursue. Listen to the song "she's so high" by tal bachman. it tells a story about a boy acknowledging a girl is way out of his league, but at the end of the song, she asks him out. As Mz. Frizzle says, take chances, make mistakes, and get messy!

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  • Based on that pic, you're just fat... no offense, but if you want a reason from a total stranger who knows jack shit about you, that's all I can go off of

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  • If friends lash out at you, and leave you maybe it's your personality.

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    • 21d

      if my friend subtweeting me and reading my private conversations by going on my icloud is me then I don't know... i know I've made mistakes but i dont htink its my personailty

  • Ironically... after reading the other 3 guys opinions , that's really all there is to be aware of. Be sure to glow from the inside out with your personality and smiling character.

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  • Are no guys coming up to you or are you just not attracted to the guys who do come up to you?

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    • 21d

      im pretty picky but only really creepy guys or really old guys hit on me.. i can't reallyy help who im attracted to

  • Is it that no guys go after you or just not guys you find attractive?

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  • you're just fat. That's all.

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  • Picture would help. You might have to diet and exercise, or lower your standards and approach boys.

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  • You are still 17.

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  • I like you, what do you do for a living

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  • PICS?

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  • Men hate feminists and women who dont know their place.

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  • selfie

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  • LOL every time I see a question like this, I think of South Park, the one where I think it's Cartman says "Everybody hates me", and the guy asks him "Why do you suppose that is" and Cartman answers "cause I'm the son of the devil" and then the guy goes "Uh huh, that's a good story, why else"

    It never gets answered after that, but, it's still funny

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What Girls Said 4

  • First of all, calm your titties girl. We're on the same boat to being curvy, but I think you need more self love and a man can never satisfy that. In fact, without self love, you can be easily led on to believe that guys do "love" you, (as seen 3 years ago) It is not that men hate you, but most of them cannot see women for more than their appearance due to societal brainwashing, and this affects their personal definitions of what a woman should be.

    First step to loving yourself is to recognize that comfort eating will not help, try hitting the gym instead. You can have a run on the park with you and your music, and reflecting on all the years of your life, you're finally breaking free. Make connections with new people, immerse yourself with growth mindsets. Never see your weight as an obstacle. Try diets that suit you, if you have to eat, take fiber or protein only. Slowly adjust, consistency is key. This will be a lifestyle change that will affect your physical and psychological health.

    Try to be independent, recognize that you are doing well without direct support from your friends all these years, you and yourself only can break this barrier to self confidence. Don't compare yourself with other girls, because its obvious that you are not other girls.

    Once you have self love and you realize you're doing something for yourself, then you will have more self confidence. Confidence is not built over night, so attend seminars, networking sessions and dating even, so that you can build your people skills. It doesn't matter if you don't bring home somebody, realize you have made connections and you are building a new you want to see.

    The most important part is to reflect, reflect and reflect deeply on yourself. Rationalize, understand and appreciate everyday. Keep a diary, I highly recommend! Ask psychological questions, know your temperaments, personality and nature. Anticipate your personal strengths and weaknesses so that you can have a greater control of your life. Address your past and reason with it, you cannot change your mistakes but you can learn from it.

    I also consider the indirect motivation caused by your environment and your peers, but if you have determination, then nothing will be in your way. You can seek spiritual help to stay motivated as well!

    God can give you the key, but its up to you to open it!

    Good luck <3

    PS: If you feel I deserve a MHO, do reward me with it, I try to help in every opinion I give <3 Cheers! Venusss

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  • I kind of know what you mean - my best friend is such a gorgeous human being and is the one who gets all the attention from guys. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous of her beauty and outgoing personality 😞 I'm very shy, introverted and can't seem put myself out there to save my life. Since you said you're shy too, perhaps guys find us a bit unapproachable? Ah I wish I knew the answer 😭 But just remember that you're a beautiful gal and don't need a man's attention to justify your worth :) x

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  • Well, make yourself happy. Go to the gym. Work out. Look great. Feel great. I met my crush at the gym and he is like the cutest, funniest and hottest guy. Before him I had only once made out wirh a guy and that is two years back now. I hadnmt had any serious interest in him since then.

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  • Guys have seriously changed from the old days. They just want sex now. I hate dating and relationships now.

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