I'm a bisexual girl and I'm scared of having a girlfriend. Can you help?

There's a bit of a story behind this, so I would really appreciate it if you read it first. Basically I work as a scare actor in a haunted house. October 2016 was my second time working at this attraction, I had a friend there from last year, a bisexual girl like myself. I was good friends with her, we were able to joke with eachother and I actually felt quite comfortable around her. At the end of Halloween I told my friend that I had a bit of a crush on this girl, but wasn't going to pursue anything because she had a girlfriend. A few days later she posted on snapchat that she was single. I started talking to her on Facebook and it became apparent that she liked me, and somehow we managed to agree that we were going to "hook up" at the staff party. So, at the party we kissed eachother a few times and everyone was telling us to get together. However eventually she told me that she still technically had a girlfriend and in December they were going to talk about having an open relationship. I told her I didn't know how I felt about that and she told me she really liked me. It's now a few days later. I don't know why but my feelings are really conflicting. Firstly, I don't know how comfortable I am being with this girl if she technically has a girlfriend - even if it is an open relationship. Secondly, and this is the one that's the hardest to explain, I'm not actually sure how I feel about this girl. I've never had a girlfriend before, so I'm not exactly experience... but I keep continually asking myself if I actually like her and want to be with her. I keep bouncing between yes and no. My mind says that the uncertainty means I don't like her, but also says that because I wanted to kiss her at the party, it means I do. I'm in such an emotional conflict and I'm really questioning myself. I keep shying away and I'm think I'm scared - and I just have no idea how I feel about this girl or the prospect of my first girlfriend. Can anyone help?


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What Guys Said 10

  • I'd suggest?
    Asking if you could have a nice dinner with her AND her girlfriend. Explain that you are interested but new to all of this, and you're not sure about being with someone in an open relationship, because they're still with someone else.

    You could get some reassurance. You could learn a bit more how that relationship dynamic works. You might feel better after meeting her girlfriend and talking with her and seeing how she feels about it... if the idea appeals to you, and things go well, you might be able to spend the night with them both, and see how things go from there.

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  • You don't wanting to share your partner had very little to do with your bisexuality, it's her problem for not being monogamous. As far as being with girl goes, there is very little for you to fear, as the things that girls can do with each other are less serious then the things that girls can do with guys.

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  • How can you make up your mind if you never tried it?
    Normally I would say go for it, but in this case, it seems like you are burning through the steps here. I don't think being in an open relationship as your first relationship is a good thing. You gotta learn to walk before you can run...

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  • Well, the most important thing to ask is - do you two make each other happy? Are you good to each other? If the answer's yes, then you have something to build on. And motivation to deal with these other relationship issues you've raised. by the way, have you met this other girl? If she likes the gal you like you may have some compatibility. In which case, the three of you may be an item...

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  • The only to answer this question is to get in there and try.

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  • Bi girls are confusing to me because they only want to sleep around with girls but they still want get married to guy's.

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  • You might just have to tell her that you like her, that's the only way.

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  • So you are a lesbian, not bi.

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  • Find another girl. Open relationship might not be what you want to invovle yourself with if you are thinking about it a lot. Because what if eventually that girl is engaged to her girlfriend? Would you then be okay with that? If yes, then continue to take you chances by going down this road and pursue her. Otherwise, forget about her altogether and look for someone that would be more serious and commit exclusively to you and is completely loyal to you in a monogamous relationship.

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  • Bisexual people flow like water. Just start conversing. It's easy...

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What Girls Said 2

  • there is no helping you

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  • People think it's different with boys and girls, it isn't. If a boy told you this, everybody would say run. Because lesbians and bi girls are meant to be so nice and caring... because they all have the same personality right haha. Anyway, no, girls can use girls just as much as guys. My one girl cousin who's lesbian, she always gets these innocent girls like you who've never had a girlfriend, or like preachers daughters and shit lmao, anyway I feel so sorry for them because she's really no good. Especially for a first girlfriend.

    Stick to people who have more respect for you. Not people who pretend they don't have a girl til you make out then tell oh oops sorry forgot to mention, I actually do have a girl, but you can be my other girl if you want.
    Fuck that.

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