Found this opinion from a guy here and it intrigued me.
I have quoted it below:
"Personally at the start of knowing each other there's no difference. Assuming I'm sexually attracted to them then until I know them better I have no idea whether I'd like to have a relationship or not. How could I? She might be sexy as hell but just not my personality type, or batsh*t insane, or 101 other things that might mean she and I are not compatible. Your premise is wrong. It's not "hookup OR relationship" so looking for signs is pure nonsense. Hookups (like spending time together and conversation) are a way of getting to know someone. The more you know someone the more you know whether you want a relationship with them. Until you do these things you cannot be sure you are compatible and therefore want a relationship with them or not" - p00pp00pp00p
Most Helpful Guy
I see the appeal for a different reason. I think girls have higher standards on sexual attraction for hookups so its more flattering to be the guy she is excited to have sex with than it is to be the guy she wants to wait over a month taking her on dates before she sleeps with you.
So being the guy she has sex with right away = you're hot and exciting.
Being the guy she wants to take things slow with = she sees you as safe and reliable. you meet the baseline level of attraction but aren't anything special.
Starting out as fwbs filters out all the girls who aren't that attracted to you and aren't excited to sleep with you. Id feel like a loser to be the guy waiting over a month when other guys were able to get ger to want to send nudes and have sex within thefirst week.
So if given a choice, I would much rather have her see me as a fwbs first and a boyfriend/husband last.1
Most Helpful Girl
The MOST important reason to have a sex life before deciding to enter into a more serious relationship is... sexual COMMUNICATION.
What I mean by that is this:
The way someone treats you, and interacts with you, as a lover... tells you TONS of things about
• how he feels about and respects women in general,
• how he feels about and respects YOU in general.
When people are intimate with each other, they have their guard down, in lots of different ways. Their everyday defense mechanisms are down, in all sorts of ways that are carefully guarded at just about every other time in life.
• Are you dealing with a man who's fundamentally selfish and ultimately unconcerned with you? Then that WILL show in the way he treats you, yr needs, and yr orgasm. He'll be unconcerned with you and yr pleasure throughout yr intimacy. He won't be empathetic; he won't "read" you, to see whether you're experiencing enjoyment or pleasure or thrills; he'll just "get his".
Sure, you might see these things in his behavior anyway, non-sexually -- but, it might take months or years for him to give it away.
• Are you dealing with a man who's fundamentally inflexible, and won't allow YOUR priorities to have equal input with his?
Then that will also show in the bedroom -- HE will always be the one who "draws the lines" and sets the boundaries and says what you will and won't do TOGETHER, and he won't be willing to listen to YOUR ideas and fantasies and boundaries and ideas.
Again, you'd *eventually* see this outside the bedroom... but how long is "eventually"? Months? Years?
• Are you dealing with someone who actually hates women?
Then you'll see it. You'll see it when he's disgusted at the thought of being intimate during yr menstrual period -- a time when a man who loves women would be happy to just throw down some towels and make sweet (and bloody) love to you.
You'll see it when he gets turned off, or even afraid, at the thought of female fantasies that don't work like male fantasies -- at the thought that women might (*gasp*) have a sexuality of our own, that doesn't work in exactly the same ways that men's does, and that doesn't work in the same ways that porn (which is made to extract $$$$ from men) does, either.
• Are you dealing with a "confident" man whose confidence is actually all fake, and who's actually a prissy douchebag inside?
Oh, you'll discover that IMMEDIATELY, as soon as you issue a few little challenges to him in the bedroom. An ACTUAL confident man0