I met a guy online awhile ago who lives a few hours away from me, that in itself is a problem as we both don't want to leave our towns but that's for us to work out. We have not had the chance to meet yet as he is finishing school and I don't have the money.
We talk throughout the day and spend hours on the phone at night. I love talking to him, we have tons in common and want a lot of the same things. The problem lies in the fact that from any of the pictures I've seen of him I am not attracted to him. I'm terrified that I'll lose all feeling as soon as i see him.
I'm afraid that I'll miss out on something great because I'm being shallow. He is a great guy. The kind of guy I have always wanted, and the more we talk the better it gets. what should i do? have you had this experience? If so, how did it turn out?
Most Helpful Guy
Well, if it makes you feel better, a few million people who have engaged in online relationships have the exact same story. They meet online, they talk all the time and really connect and when they meet, it completely fizzles because at least one of them thinks the other is hideous looking. First off, you shouldn't feel guilty because looks do matter. If looks didn't matter, then we'd just date any gender, any age, and it wouldn't matter so long as we got along emotionally and intellectually. But no, that's not how the world works and just like a lot of people aren't attracted to angry people, loud people, quiet people or stupid people, you're just not into ugly people and there's nothing wrong with that.
That said, it's easy to fall for someone online because when you speak to someone only via phone calls, emails, and texts, you're left with a lot of gaps and you invariably are going to fill in those gaps with positive things thus making out this person to be far more perfect than they can ever be.
Anyway, I say you two meet and you see what happens. If you don't find him attractive and it kills everything, then so be it. That's life and you both can move on, but don't be afraid if it turns out that way. Just feel better knowing that lots of people have this story and they all survived too.1
Most Helpful Girl
If you're not attracted to him, why did you pursue a relationship in the first place? Anyway, what's done is done. You should agree to go out with him and if you decide that you're not into him, tell him that.1