Is he not looking for a relationship? Am I not girlfriend material?

So I started seeing this guy, and we have been dating for over 2 months now, but I first started to talk to him or met him around 20th of August. I am not sure how long it takes a guy or how long he wants to just 'date' until he wants to make it official as boyfriend and girlfriend or anything at all. We basically do things really official, we hold hands in public, we go out to parties together and all that, he even buys me stuff, tells me that he likes me (like everyday), but still nothing is happening.. I am in no need to force or desperate to be his girlfriend right now, but I am curious if he maybe just wants to date and want nothing serious?
He is a great guy and all and August LAST YEAR his ex broke up with him so I am not sure that has to do with it? But I feel like we basically do everything like boyfriend girlfriend so I don't see the problem why he kind of 'avoids' it when I drop hints about it..


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What Guys Said 2

  • why dont you ask him to be your boyfriend and see what he says

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    • 21d

      Isn't that very.. I don't know, risqué?

    • 21d

      It is, but that's how relationships are, always some risk. If he says yes great you can be at ease knowing you are a couple. Worst thing he can do is say no.

      So he rejects you? Then what? Nobody has died, just move on to he next guy out of 4 billion. Knowing for sure is better than not knowing at all.

  • Taking things slow because of his past experiences I guess

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What Girls Said 3

  • If you want to know the answer to something just ask. You can tell him that you aren't interested in being official yet, but you want to know if he feels it's headed down that road. Also, express that you would like to eventually get to that point (assuming cuz it sounds like you do). Stop with the hints and communicate what you are thinking like a reasonable, mature adult.

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    • 21d

      But their very direct hints to be honest, I guess I am a little afraid of rejection? I've never experienced rejection and this time it has to be with a guy I really like so I am very careful..

    • 21d

      Direct hints are still hints. You need to have clear communication about an issue that is obviously on your mind. Even if you don't want things to change at the moment, it's bugging you and you need to talk to him about it. Yes, rejection sucks but it's a part of life. At least if you find out that he never sees anything serious with you then you can move on and find someone just as awesome who will want to eventually get serious. If this was 2 weeks in I'd say wait and just deal with the uncertainty because the serious talk might scare some people off. After 2 months though, and you've been dating regularly and doing coupley stuff, it's a reasonable amount of time for most people to at least start broaching that topic.

  • Talk to him. Talk to him. Talk to him. Talk to him

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  • ask him!

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