Ladies, how would you feel if your boyfriend had a friends with benefits from before you were dating and continued the friends with benefits while you were dating?

Situation: You're in a long distance relationship and you only see your boyfriend a few times a year. He says he love you and only you but, since you're so far away, he's a guy and still wants sex.

What about him keeping in touch and meeting with other girls he's slept with?
Would you rather he not tell you and you remain oblivious?

Updates:
16d I am not the girlfriend, I'm the friends with benefits. He told me he was pursuing a real relationship with another girl, and I said that I won't be able to be his friends with benefits anymore since I believe that's cheating. He got upset because he doesn't know if it will work out with the other girl and he wants me around just in case since she's flaky. As of now, I'm not giving him anything unless I hear that they really didn't work out.
13d The friends with benefits is open, we both don't care about seeing other people. He told me she travels a lot and he hardly sees her. She also apparently just had surgery and can't have sex yet. He said he's allowed to have sex with other people as long as he tells her and she "Okays it."

0|1
16|6

Most Helpful Guy

  • Holy crap; I'm not even a girl, but no, no, no, no, no.

    I could never do something like that to someone I claimed to love, and the thought just disgusts me. If there's a period of time between days spent together; I have a hand.

    If that's your situation (or anyone else's), and you're ok with it, that's great. Personally, though, I couldn't do something like that.

    3|1
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • Couldn't care less about anything before, but staying friends with them while in a relationship seems like he's keeping worms on the hook just in case he feels like fishing.
    I wouldn't end it, but I'd have a really honest conversation that I'm not ok with it and see where it goes from there

    1|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 5

  • Well, if I were him, I would never do such a thing. It's clearly cheating. Cheating to both girls. And as I understood (my English is not very much good) he keeps you as a backup plan. Which is again not acceptable. And I don't think the other lady will not be happy about it too.

    Leaving or continuing is solely your choice but I suggest you not to depend on how he worked out with the other girl. It's like you are just waiting to see their relationship to be broken, which I don't think is not good.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Its simply called cheating if you call him your boyfriend, and he is sleeping around

    1|0
    0|0
  • Before I wouldn't care, during would be a deal breaker

    0|0
    0|0
  • Doesn't sound like he's serious...

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yeah some people can actually separate love from sex, nothing wrong with it

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 15

  • We wouldn't continue dating, long distance or not, if I knew he was keeping a friends with benefits on the side. The whole point of a relationship is to (temporarily, if not permanently) commit to someone, so by keeping a friends with benefits, he is doing the exact opposite.

    2|0
    0|0
  • I am not a very jealous girl, I mean I do feel jealous sometimes but not to the point of controlling or being mad that my boyfriend has female friends. But for me, this is a big no. I wouldn't be able to handle it personally. I would trust my boyfriend but I would feel super jealous if his friends with benefits was near

    1|0
    0|0
  • First, I wouldn't have a long distance relationship. For me being in a relationship requires intimacy and Im not talking about sex. Cuddling and holding each other. I will definitely want that from my partner and not just once a few times a year... but if I was in a situation like yours I wouldn't continue to talk to him. Because he may end up wanting something more from the friend who is sleeping with. And then that leaves you out of the picture.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I'm not interested in that kind of relationship. If he can't handle a long distance relationship then he shouldn't be on one. "he's a guy and still wants sex" is bullshit.

    1|2
    0|0
  • I would absolutely NOT want him to have friends with benefits. If we are in a relationship, there can only be 2 of us. Anyone else will only complicate things.

    If I found out he is sleeping with other women or meeting them in more then a friendly manner, we would be through. Men are people, they can control themselves, women the same.

    1|1
    0|0
  • It would be over IMMEDIATELY. Plus that is dishonesty by him not explaining that to you before you commit exclusively.

    0|1
    0|0
  • uhh. no. Definitely not. If he were to want to be fucking another girl on the side, he won't be my 'boyfriend'. That's pretty plain and simple.

    0|0
    0|0
  • The LDR girl isn't really in a relationship with him. The friends with benefits girl is. In that situation, I wouldn't want to be either girl.

    0|0
    0|0
  • And as soon as you say you have a friends with benefits buddy as well, he'll dump your ass in a second. I'd definitely be cut.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too.

    0|0
    0|0
  • i will no he gets desperate, and that is very unattractive. sorry, but i have heaps of self control, right there with my personal morals and dignity.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Oh no. I would cut him off. I don't care if he had friends with benefits in the past but during our relationship? I'll dump his ass.

    0|0
    0|0
  • if you can't trust him, don't do long distance. LDR need trust and faith. it will be hurt if you can't trust him

    0|0
    0|0
  • Lmfao this can not be real? Please tell me you or anybody you know isn't in this situation? Seriously, tell him to fuck off if so.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 16d

      Haha, that boy is funny. Lmfao, he's trying. Poor other girl though lol

  • I would not agree to such a silly little boys "arrangements". I am NOT the one. 😒

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...