Guy friend acting strange and distant... was he jealous all along?

Three years ago, I met this amazing guy and we instantly became friends. We were similar in every way, as far as likes, dislikes, etc. We didn’t hang out a whole lot in person, due to our busy schedules, but we spoke daily for hours, and he was often the one to initiate the conversation.
For two years, we both had our sights set on other people as romantic interests, and just considered each other really good friends. However, when I began to see another guy, his attitude toward me completely changed. He would stop talking to me for months at a time, and when he returned, he acted very distant, depressed, and sometimes even rude and insulting; he’d say there was a lot going on in his life, but would never elaborate on it like he used to.
So one day, we got into some kind of an argument and all of a sudden, he blew up and said “Didn’t it ever occur to you, that the guy who has been there for you through your ups and downs would be your husband?” He continued to rant on and on, ignoring everything I said. I was stunned, and asked him to explain exactly what was going on and he responded with “lol, I was joking.”
That was the last conversation I had with him. Since then, he will write to me on a holiday to wish me well, and when I respond, he ignores me. I have tried multiple times to get ahold of him, but he won’t answer any of my calls or messages. The last message he sent ended with “I’m sorry for everything.”
It breaks my heart. He is one of the greatest people I have ever met in my life. And I feel stupid that I didn’t handle it better. He was a complicated person, and liked to joke around a lot. So sometimes, both in person and through messaging, it was difficult to know whether he was pulling my leg or not. He also had been deeply interested in another girl, so it never occurred to me that he would think of me as more than just a friend. So I do not know what to think.


Most Helpful Guy

  • We don't know what we want haha. This sort of things sometimes happens with guys. We'll love a girl as a freind and enjoy the freedom the pseudo relationship gives us, but when the girl starts to get all of her attention and enjoyment from another guy we get jealous.

    In your case it sounds like he's in love with you, or at least feels like he is. He's probably not going to want to talk to you while you're in a relationship, so just let him have his space. Maybe he's with someone and talking to you feels unfaithful, who knows. Give him space


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Betas gonna beta. This is why if you want to get the girl and/or not waste your time fellas you escalate quickly and make your intentions known. Otherwise you end up like her "good friend".


What Girls Said 2

  • happened to me too.. sounds like the same guy! lol except mine said, " this proves that women can't see their future"

  • Well, shit happens. Just find someone better.