I'm dating a 33 year old virgin?

He is the sweetest, kindest gentleman. I've been dating him for 1 month, and he hasn't even kissed me yet. Seems like he loves to cuddle but doesn't make any moves. Is this a dead end?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He doesn't know how. He's never been there before. If you want this to be done, you are gong to have to help him. Once he's done it once, he'll be wanting to do it everyday for weeks ! See it as a chance for you experience to be the woman who can show him how it's done. You might like it !

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    • 21d

      I'm not sure how it's going to be... seeing as he has no idea what to do?

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    • 21d

      Thank you so much, what a thorough answer!

    • 21d

      My pleasure dear.

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's not a dead end. At this point, you need to come clean as to why you are with him. Also, he hasn't been in a relationship before either I take it as well? Well, he's taking things a lot slower because that is the pace that he feels comfortable with. If you're looking for sex so quickly and a fast pace relationship, then you better just move on. I don't understand why people always assume that because nobody is making a move that it means that they don't like you or aren't attracted to you. Again, you need to tell him your intentions for this relationship and what you are seeking and your terms. Before he is going to assume that your turned off and don't like him either.

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    • 21d

      Thanks for your post! :) I think he is husband material, and you're right he has not been in a relationship before. I just thought that since he is obviously turned on by me, that he wouldn't be able to keep his hands off of me, or at least try to kiss me after a month? I can't always initiate everything :(

    • 21d

      @Asker

      Don't initiate anything your unsure of. Just let things happen naturally. Hands must be kept to oneself. A hug and cuddling are fine. But take things too far, and it can be too much for the both of you to the point the relationship may not last. Take your time.

What Guys Said 20

  • ghe´s a 33 year old virgin for a reason. if you want shit to go down, you better initiate it and don´t wait for him to do it.

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    • 21d

      I wonder what the reason is... hmmmmmmm

    • 21d

      i was a virgin till i was 30... and the only reason for me was: i just couldn´t find a girl that liked me back the way i like her. i was very happy, when i met a girl that didn´t care about me being a virgin. i mean you have to realize, he has NO experience. and at this age this is a huge problem to him, cause for everybody else probably including you, sexual stuff is "normal" but he doesn´t know stuff and because of that disparty, he has very little confidence in that area, which is why you should encourage him to do it or even take it in your hands to make the first steps. at least talk about it.

  • no. he just takes things slow.
    he is probably worried if he moves fast, he'll blow it.
    it's been a month?
    next time you cuddle, tell him it's been a month. you're ok going slow, but he can kiss you already.
    you might need to take charge a bit. that's not a big deal.

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  • Probably not. Have you considered, after a few dates, just kissing him and seeing how he reacts? Steel yourself in case there is a problem.

    Or you can just tell him that you want him to please be intimate with you.

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  • It might be a dead end.

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  • He's probably terrified. Look at it as this, he's a nuclear physicist and he's told you that tomorrow you have to take his place and go to work for him. Imagine all the insecurities and stuff you'd be feeling. I think this is probably what his mental state is right now.
    Also, like others have suggested, the next time you're cuddling, make a move!
    Plus, since you know he's a virgin, you've obviously spoken about it. So why not try that tact? He'd probably appreciate you speaking to him, just be nice I guess! Good luck to you both.

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  • So what's the actual problem? It sounds like you love this guy so who cares about his lack of experience.

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  • Are you sure he not gay?

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  • He may be asexual, but more likely he may also be terminally shy about sex stuff. If he's making you happy, why not make the effort to kiss him? He obviously likes you. His inaction doesn't reflect upon you, it is a thing he can't control. You gotta make the first move. I'm sure it will be worth the initial weirdness of it :)

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    • 21d

      I just hate being the one to make the first move... I like the traditional old fashioned ways- and I certainly don't want to throw myself at him..

    • 21d

      It sounds like it's worth the effort :)

  • Holy fucking shit

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  • Just give him time, and you make a move.

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  • It might be a dead end, or it might not - you might have to make a move yourself.

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  • Bull to the shit!

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  • Have you tried to kiss him or anything. Maybe he's just shy or he's waiting for you to make the first move

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    • 21d

      I've sexted him, and even moved in nice and close face to face and nothing... this is taking forever and i don't wanna throw myself at him

    • 21d

      Well throwing yourself at him won't help but maybe if try persuading him then he might but if not then at least you tried something

  • I don't think so

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  • Make the move yourself.

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  • he's a virgin cause he dosnt make any moves. if you want it you make the moves lady.

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  • every relationship is different , you sort of have to let this one develop and see if it goes anywhere , you don't have to date him forever but after a month of being with him you owe it to him to give it a bit more time but not forever

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  • why don't you try to make a move he might be nervous maybe? or simply be honest and ask him about it

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  • He probably has a really small dick.

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    • 21d

      Is that gonna be a problem?

    • 21d

      Yeah, if it is real small. It won't feel as good.

  • If you take the more dominant role and teach him a thing or two he will probably come around

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What Girls Said 3

  • I think he is too shy or passive and even though he wants to do stuff he just doesn't know how. You need to take matters into your own hand. Don't push him but you can indicate you want to be kissed for example. But don't do it too subtly. He is too dense in that area.
    Good luck ;)

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  • Well... do you want it to be dead end?
    If not, why not beat him to the bunch and be the one making the move for the first kiss?

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  • You should try talking with him about it and about having sex maybe that'll wake him up. And he'll wanna do more. The number one key to any relationship is honesty.

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