Should I step up and initiate a date with this guy?

Need some help here. I've been dating this guy for a month now, and he's pretty much initiated most of the dates except two. The last date we went on was initiated me, and I'm thinking of inviting to come over to mine for the first time (I've only ever been to his) and cook for him tomorrow (he's cooked for me at his last week.) I still live with my parents due to reasons outside my control, but they're out this Friday night so I'm tempted to ask him round. However, I'm worried that because I initiated the last date earlier this week, initiating this one would seem too much? Also note, we live very close to each other so short-notice dates have been the norm with this guy which I'm fine with. Thoughts? Also, PLEASE tell me, if I'm overthinking and being ridiculous in this situation. I've been hurt a lot this year and I just want things to go well :)


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah, I think you should let him initiate the next one. The reason for this might not be the reason you're thinking of... So first, if you're worried that initiating too much will somehow be a turn off, then no, you're worried about nothing. However, my concern is that guys (especially young guys) can get complacent and lazy really easily. If you initiate another date so soon, he might just start expecting you to set up all of your dates. It's not that it's "too much", it's that you risk triggering a negative behavior that exists in many young males. I mean, do you hear how many young women complain that their boyfriends never take them out on any dates?

    But really, the final call should be based on your own feel. If you feel that this guy is not the type of guy who would drop the ball like that, then go ahead and set up a date. This is something you'll need to decide for yourself based on your take on the guy.

    • You've pretty much explained my worry and I couldn't agree more. He's not exactly young though; he's 28 and broke up with his longterm girlfriend earlier in Jan this year (they were together for 10 years!) and I'm the only girl he's been with since then. My gut tells me to wait and see what he does.

    • Then definitely wait. You know him better than anyone and I know the other guys below said "No, go set up another date!", but most guys don't really think about how guys behave. The most common complaint I hear from women is how guys never set up dates and I admit, it takes work to plan and set up a date. I can see why lots of men don't want to do it. Let him plan the next one, then you can do the one after that.

    • Exactly. It's not a case of playing hard to get, it's just I've had too many guys become complacent with these things. If he suggests something tonight, or even tomorrow during the day that will be fine. The only "planning" involved with this guy, is simply us both finding out when we're both free next. Most of the time we just decide what we want to do on the actual night lol.


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What Guys Said 3

  • As a guy, having someone like you who cares about ask ME out? Holy crap, that would the best feeling EVER. Nothing tells a person you care like making them feel wanted, appreciated. Girls feel the same way am I right? If I was this guy, I would be beyond thrilled. I've never had it happen to me, been shit on most of my life, so my viewpoint might be biased lol ;)

  • Yes. Step up and initiate the date!

  • I think it's a good idea he would enjoy that :)


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